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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Offered to buy DH a MacBook and he's annoyed

84 replies

CelTa · 11/07/2023 18:45

I offered to buy my DH a new MacBook - he's had his current one for 10 years and it's a bit slow.

My budget is £1250 and there are plenty of MacBooks online for this price.

We've just had an argument because he wants a better one at £1600.

He had no intention of buying it for himself and can't afford it. I came into some money recently and wanted to do something nice for him. I feel like it's just been thrown back in my face. He's always complaining about his laptop and how slow it is.

Aibu?

OP posts:
TeeBee · 11/07/2023 18:48

Cheeky bastard. In that case, I'd just say 'okay, never mind, I'll now use the money for something else'. And make sure you do exactly that.

Tinkerbyebye · 11/07/2023 18:49

Yanbu. If he wants one at £1600 he coughs up the difference. Otherwise he either wants the one you want to purchase, or not

istolethetalisker · 11/07/2023 18:50

CF!

Miscellaneousme · 11/07/2023 18:50

YANBU. Spend the money on yourself.

Aquamarine1029 · 11/07/2023 18:50

Rescind the offer and never bother again. I'd save that money if I were you.

DrSbaitso · 11/07/2023 18:51

Why can't he make up the difference?

Daisywishes · 11/07/2023 18:51

How unattractive

nasanas · 11/07/2023 18:52

Aibu?

It depends. Did you say i will buy you this and you can't add money to it to get the better model or are you offering to give him enough to buy an entry level but he can upgrade if he wants?

Jigslaw · 11/07/2023 18:53

It is a wonderful offer but similarly there isn't much point getting on with lesser specs than you need. Sure it's better than not having a new one at all, but it's still a bit of a waste of all of that money if it's not what you need- its one of those things I think where the giving is for the joy of the giver even if the reciever doesn't want it. Just take back the offer and he can save up if he so wishes.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 11/07/2023 18:55

It wasn't good enough for him at twelve hundred quid.

So he can make do with what he's already got.

Enjoy spending your money on something you want. When he pouts and whines about it, well, Lenovo do perfectly adequate laptops around the £400 mark. Maybe if he saves up his pocket money from his Mummy, he'd be able to get one of those.

35965a · 11/07/2023 18:57

Ungrateful twunt, don’t give him anything if he won’t appreciate it

Ponoka7 · 11/07/2023 18:58

So have you offered him your contribution and he make up the difference?

Shinyandnew1 · 11/07/2023 19:08

What an ungrateful man!

Beaconofasseptability · 11/07/2023 19:09

I would be buying no MacBook then.

justme2022 · 11/07/2023 19:12

Depends. If he said I really want the more expensive one so I'll chip in the extra then that would be fine for me. If he said no I want the more expensive one and I want you to pay the whole amount. Then I would be making a suggestion about where he could shove the MacBook.

Jongleterre · 11/07/2023 19:13

Apologise profusely at the misunderstanding and say you meant to say Big Mac not Mac Book.

Why couldn't he have engaged his brain and politely said that the model he really wants is £1,600 and would you mind holding on to the money whilst he saves for the remainder.

To get the bump and make petulant demands for a dearer one shows his real character - a twat.

Soontobe60 · 11/07/2023 19:13

Interestingly, me and DH had this same conversation a couple of days ago!
I will soon be receiving an inheritance from my mums estate. Over 20K. I asked him if there was anything he would like me to buy him and he said he’d like a new MacBook to replace his 10 year old one. I will buy him the one he wants. He helped me a lot with my mum, he split his inheritance from his mum with me 50/50.

DragonDoor · 11/07/2023 19:18

Jigslaw · 11/07/2023 18:53

It is a wonderful offer but similarly there isn't much point getting on with lesser specs than you need. Sure it's better than not having a new one at all, but it's still a bit of a waste of all of that money if it's not what you need- its one of those things I think where the giving is for the joy of the giver even if the reciever doesn't want it. Just take back the offer and he can save up if he so wishes.

I agree. There is no point in buying something if it’s not what the receiver of the gift wants.

Lovehearts82 · 11/07/2023 19:21

TeeBee · 11/07/2023 18:48

Cheeky bastard. In that case, I'd just say 'okay, never mind, I'll now use the money for something else'. And make sure you do exactly that.

Perfect reply

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 11/07/2023 19:21

I think it would be really silly to waste £1200 on something he doesn't actually want and that he hasn't actually asked for.

I know you're trying to do something nice by buying him a new laptop, but if he doesn't want it (and hasn't asked for it) then I don't think he's actually being ungrateful to say "thanks, but no thanks".

ThePoshUns · 11/07/2023 19:23

How rude and ungrateful. Tell him to shove it!

Jigslaw · 11/07/2023 19:25

DragonDoor · 11/07/2023 19:18

I agree. There is no point in buying something if it’s not what the receiver of the gift wants.

Show quote history

Yeah, my ex bought me a camera once which was thoughtful as I love photography, but the one he bought me as a surprise wasn't suitable for what I used cameras for. When I said I'm really appreciative and it's such an amazing thought but please return it (I didn't ask for a replacement and fully expected him to keep the money) he went ballistic and went on about how ungrateful I was; but it's a waste if it won't be used!

kweeble · 11/07/2023 19:27

I can see both sides - If he keeps them for 10 years then it’s worthwhile buying the £1600 one if it meets his needs. He could make up the difference - maybe sell his old one once the data has been transferred?
However I would rather not spend the money if it wasn’t appreciated so you could choose to withdraw your offer.

PowerBMI · 11/07/2023 19:28

I can see both sides. I am presuming the more expensive one does something the cheaper one doesn’t. One of the reasons I don’t like people buying me things like this is because I would prefer to pick the one I want. Not the one they think I should be ok with.

If it doesn’t do the things I want it to, then I would see it as a waste of £1200.

I do also think it can come across as ungrateful.

i don’t see why, if that’s your budget m, he just doesn’t pay the difference.

Theres 2 ways to look at it.

The person could buying could have the attitude of ‘I am buying this so you should be grateful even if it’s not what you want’

The person receiving it could come across ‘but you must spend more because I want the more expensive one just because I want it and your offer isn’t good enough’

Derrymum123 · 11/07/2023 19:34

Withdraw the offer and get yourself something nice.