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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find it annoying when people moan about being in the office?

146 replies

justfliptheswitch · 11/07/2023 09:47

Pre covid I was in an office 5 days a week. Since returning it’s been 2 days.

I think this is a great balance. But I’ve had two colleagues moan about childcare and that they shouldn’t have to come etc and for the last year they’ve got away with doing one day but now have to do the same as everyone else … like how did they cope before when it was 5 days?!

OP posts:
dinkydonky · 11/07/2023 10:20

4 years ago many people led completely different lives. They might have lived in different places, had less/different aged kids, had a different job or their partner had a different job, other differences in their financial situations. Cost of living wasn't as crazily high.

Many people had to make decisions about how and where to live their life during the covid years, in the face of massive uncertainty and non-committal employers. It's not surprising that people now don't want to go back to aspects of how things were before that they don't like, that they don't see a good reason for.

You think that 2 days a week is a good balance. Other people think different amounts is better. Personally one day a fortnight is my sweet spot. I coped with 5 days a week by leading a completely different lifestyle and sacrificing things I really wanted because they were impossible with a full time central London job. It sucked! I could equally say, you want 2 days a week, how did you cope during Covid when it was zero? Probably the same answer - badly!

Giltedged · 11/07/2023 10:22

The worst thing to emerge from covid is that going to work is seen as a major inconvenience. Thankfully it seems to mostly have stopped now. I know everyone on MN is more productive at home but this doesn’t extend to RL.

LolaSmiles · 11/07/2023 10:23

I think people need to accept that hybrid working allows for the best of both worlds and the time for being at home all day every day is gone.

Your colleagues should have childcare whether they are in the office or at home. There's no way they are being effective colleagues if they're also trying to provide engaging childcare.

FragrantBumFluff · 11/07/2023 10:27

I work from home 3 days a week and wouldn’t like to go in any more. Obviously I was told I had to I would, but I’d probably moan and also probably look for another job. Sorry OP!

For me it’s because commuting and wrap around childcare have become stupidly expensive and WFH eliminates those costs. I’d imagine for lots of people it’s money related.

Luckydip1 · 11/07/2023 10:27

For some jobs, staff can be more productive but for the majority they will do more work when they are at home. With teams you can collaborate with colleagues well. So much time is wasted in offices, you get distracted, chatting, pointless IP meetings but of course controlling bosses love it! Also, so much presenteeism, because bosses promote people who work long hours even if they are unproductive! Working from home is a godsend for so many people, no crappy commute, no office politics, just get on with your job!

FragrantBumFluff · 11/07/2023 10:28

LolaSmiles · 11/07/2023 10:23

I think people need to accept that hybrid working allows for the best of both worlds and the time for being at home all day every day is gone.

Your colleagues should have childcare whether they are in the office or at home. There's no way they are being effective colleagues if they're also trying to provide engaging childcare.

I have childcare, but a full day at nursery is the same hours as my working day. To factor in the commute as well I’d need wrap around and then it gets even more £££

MathiasBroucek · 11/07/2023 10:32

In many workplaces (I'm thinking private sector, white collar) work sped up during the pandemic (no commute, no business travel, fewer leisure opportunities) and has stayed like that. We either need to go back to pre-pandemic productivity OR accept working from home as the norm

MidnightMeltdown · 11/07/2023 10:37

Why does it bother you so much? Do you think that there should be some kind of forced socialisation with colleagues?

I don't mind going into the office if there's a specific reason why I need to be in on a particular day, but I would hate it if my employer tried to force me in for a set number of days a week 'just because'.

Its a waste of time and money. People have realised that they don't want to spend their leisure time commuting backwards and forwards.

thedevilinablackdress · 11/07/2023 10:39

People have always moaned about work, and always will. Hybrid is the big new thing for us all to get used to, so it's not surprising there are a lot of different views, and moans.
It was the same when offices moved to more open plan working, and it'll be the same again in the future with something else.

GwinCoch · 11/07/2023 10:41

I’m not sure why it bothers you? Your working arrangements suit you. So that’s great. Why does it matter what other people think/feel?

LittleLegsKeepGoing · 11/07/2023 10:48

Pre-lockdown I really resented going into the office. My entire team is remote, we work literally the length of the country and are only ever in the same office together once a year so all our collaboration has always been virtual.

Travelling to my local office to work virtually was just stupid - but because of presenteeism it was the expectation and done thing.

Then lockdown hit, my work wasn't affected at all but my life balance was massively. Thankfully my company recognises this and hasn't insisted on us returning to the office on a mandatory basis - just as needed, which makes complete sense.

I now save a fortune in commuting and wrap around care. I now exercise far more regularly and work with far less disruptions. Damn right I'd be complaining about returning to the office when there isn't a business need for it.

ManateeFair · 11/07/2023 11:00

People are allowed to like different things and have different preferences, and I'm not sure how them expressing a dislike for their office days is really having any impact on you.

But I’ve had two colleagues moan about childcare and that they shouldn’t have to come etc and for the last year they’ve got away with doing one day but now have to do the same as everyone else … like how did they cope before when it was 5 days?!

But the issue is that pre-Covid, most people hadn't had the opportunity to try working from home, so just assumed that coming in five days a week was the only way they could really do their job. But then during Covid lots of people suddenly had to work from home for the first time, and discovered that it worked out really well for them and that there was nothing they could do in the office that they couldn't do at home and that they could do their job with a better work-life balance. When you've trialled something and it's worked out much better for you than the previous state of affairs, it's understandable that it's going to be annoying to have to go back to that previous state of affairs if you don't think it's necessary.

I don't have kids so there's no childcare issues for me. I go into the office one or two days a week. But for the vast majority of the days that I'm there, I'm not doing anything that I couldn't do at home. Because we don't all go in on the same days, I frequently go into the office and then spend an afternoon having Teams calls with people who are working from home. So I've literally spent money on a train ticket and lost two hours of my day commuting for absolutely no benefit whatsoever to either me or my employer. I don't mind a great deal, really; I usually take the opportunity to do some shopping after work or get dinner in town. But surely you can see how for a lot of people, it might feel irritating to be coming in purely for the sake of it and not because it's actually necessary? Especially if it's causing them childcare issues.

Beezknees · 11/07/2023 11:08

I dislike home working. I don't have the space for an office set up, so I work in the living room. I find it far more distracting at home than in the office, I have an extrovert personality so I am less motivated when I am working alone at home.

I do 2 days a week at home purely so I can be around for teen DS, not for childcare as he's 15 so he doesn't need looking after, but just so he doesn't come home to an empty house every day.

holycannaloni · 11/07/2023 11:10

Unless we're going in for a reason I find it so irritating going into the office now, as everyone is just sat on their laptops on zoom calls. Our work is client-focussed and almost all our work with clients is primarily remote, so unless we're having a large collaboration meeting in-person or if we're having one of our company conference/away days, it feels pointless to commute into the office to talk on zoom. I like catching up with my colleagues but we do this socially after work, I get the same level of work-time interaction with them on zoom as I do in the office on a normal work day.

Milkand2sugarsplease · 11/07/2023 11:16

So because YOU think 2 days is a good balance, everyone should?

I work 4 days a week - 3 in the office and 1 from home as a favour to my boss - she needs me to do the hours and I don't have childcare so do them around ds2 and DH's hours.

I need to go in to school to do my job and that is fine. If I had a job I could do from home just as well and it gave me more flexibility to do it from home then yeah, I'd want to do it from home. I don't begrudge DH working from home because I have to be in the office - different jobs have different needs.
DH goes into the office once a week - completely pointless as none of his team work in his office so he takes his laptop for a ride, has the same teams meetings he would have from home and then takes his laptop for a ride home. Zero benefit to going in and certainly no point doing it more frequently, especially just because you think 2 without moaning is the right balance. Some people in dh's job love going in the office and go 5 days every week and that's fine too if it's what works for you.

StormShadow · 11/07/2023 11:21

YABU.

While it's up to you how you feel, the argument that people should be fine doing in 2023 what they did in 2019 is daft, because the pre covid world doesn't exist any more. Everything has changed, the world of work in particular, and obviously people have noticed. You won't get very far if you go to the supermarket expecting to pay 2019 prices after all!

And on the childcare point specifically, surely you can't imagine that because it was doable in February 2020 it must be doable now? Even before covid, the sector was shrinking.

Mumtothreegirlies · 11/07/2023 11:21

Maybe they didn’t have kids then.
most people I know worked all through covid in shops, hospitals etc. even my 68 year old mum worked through Covid. I think people in offices are a bit namby pamby if you ask me.

HereToo · 11/07/2023 11:22

I think many people who don't work in offices roll their eyes when they hear the moaning.

bonfirebash · 11/07/2023 11:24

Mumtothreegirlies · 11/07/2023 11:21

Maybe they didn’t have kids then.
most people I know worked all through covid in shops, hospitals etc. even my 68 year old mum worked through Covid. I think people in offices are a bit namby pamby if you ask me.

Or have severe health conditions

I still WFH. Without being outing our workplace was taken from us and not by choice so all of us have had to go back WFH
It's a reasonable adjustment for me to WFH FT due to the risks

Luckydip1 · 11/07/2023 11:33

There are some parents who wouldn't be able to work in an office full time due to the cost of childcare. Yes, they will spend part of their working day looking after the kids, but a lot of time is wasted in offices with general chatting.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 11/07/2023 11:39

DH and I are both having a moan at the fact he is likely going to have to do more office days.

He’s more productive at home. His boss has confirmed that. In fact when there’s something important to be done specifically he’s been asked to do it on a wfh day a number of times now as he gets more done as he gets interrupted less.

Its good for us as a family as his commute is long so gives us much more family time.

However, three of his colleagues are taking the piss with wfh by not having childcare so bosses are thinking of cutting it. Rather than dealing with the piss takers directly.

If wfh works for people and their job and they’re being pushed into the office for no good reasons they’re going to moan.

GoodChat · 11/07/2023 11:42

Having to consider wraparound care so you can go into the office is crap if it's the commute affecting your home life.

If it's just that they can't have their kids at home, well they shouldn't be doing that anyway.

Brefugee · 11/07/2023 11:42

People moan though, and they do get quickly used to things. Pre-covid did they have to fork out for childcare?

In your shoes, OP, i'd just say "yes shockingly expensive, isn't it" and change the subject.

I recently had someone moan at me about how "unfair" it is that i don't have to rush home to release the childminder, or pay for childcare yadda yadda. As i pointed out: i did, for 5 days a week. Until my DCs grew up and left home 😂

holycannaloni · 11/07/2023 11:44

HereToo · 11/07/2023 11:22

I think many people who don't work in offices roll their eyes when they hear the moaning.

I mean, to be fair, I roll my eyes at some things that people who don't work in offices moan about. Everyone's job is different and has different pain points, and everyone likes to complain about their job.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 11/07/2023 11:50

Childcare has changed a lot since covid in many places right enough.

Round here there is a massive lack of places as one of the affordable wrap around care options closed as the council has totally changed its policy on letting spaces. We just couldn’t re-open.

Thats 60 breakfast and after school places gone. The only option available now was already busy and costs £35 a day as opposed to the £8 a day we were.