To write a book about my life?

[ghostwriterwanted]

I've been through a lot and I'm 30. I have three children. I was married very young and have been through huge trauma but I have over come it. I want to write about it because it's my story of addiction withdrawal and redemption

I don't have the discipline to sit still and write, I have adhd,

Is there a way to tell my story to a writer and work together with them? Thank you
And also is this really fucking big headed of me to think people would want to know my story of how I over came addictions?

Pearl Lowe’s book is very much like this, very privileged child with loving supportive parents, private schooling and lots of opportunities but making some bad choices with drugs and neglectful parenting.

I love her book, read it a few times. She comes across as a very smart and likeable person too. A similar read to 'Fall to pieces' by Mary Weiland, Scott Weilands wife. Loving family, fame and money at an early age, marriage and kids, but still struggling with her own demons and addictions.

A 'ghostwriter' might not really be that expensive when you consider how many people are doing creative writing courses at degree level and above. Many would welcome the opportunity to work with someone and create a memoir of their lives - though they'd want some sort of payment obv.

Even if you didn't succeed in placing it with a publisher, you still have the opportunity to self-publish and leave a physical book as a record for your children and grandchildren. The autobiographies of ordinary people are fascinating. There was a huge interwar project called Mass Observation where people wrote and submitted daily journals, and they are a brilliant and unparalleled insight into the time. I really wish my grandparents and great grandparents had left written records of their lives. I think you should go for it.

Publishing trends go in waves. Mis-lit (memoirs about miserable times in life and how they were overcome) is slightly out of fashion now. But it may be due a renaissance.

You could hire a ghost writer or an editor to work with you to develop the outline, structure, USP and first three chapters, then try to sell it on the strength of these. But unless your story is truly remarkable (e.g. Educated: growing up in a redneck US lethal scrapyard with no schooling but becoming a Cambridge don) then expect a lot of rejections. Even beautifully written books with powerful stories get turned down these days.The profit margins are so tiny.

And even if it is accepted, you may get offered a tiny advance - £1k-4k is not uncommon these days - but it would have taken you more money than that to hire a ghost writer. It's not really lucrative unless you are already famous.

Write it for your own benefit, as a therapeutic record of all you have achieved. That's what I'd recommend. Free, rewarding and a great pastime.

I'm a ghostwriter and agree that if you already know a few, then best to get advice from them if you feel comfortable.

It's a substantial investment but I do a lot of private commissions for people who just want to get their story out, the financial side doesn't matter for some (especially business books). It's always best if you're upfront with your ghost - if you think they can work for 3-6 months for free, please tell them that before they spend hours on a zoom with you! A 50/50 split on something that might never happen really doesn't work unless you get someone starting out who is building their portfolio.

Happy to answer any questions you, or anyone else, might have on it all 🙂

You could use a voice recorder to put down your thoughts and then get them typed up. Cathartic for you and paid work for a virtual assistant. Then you can see if there is a narrative there.

Your story sounds really interesting, also you could write it in diary style much like viv albertine's book

Thank you so much for this reply, it's so helpful and kind xx

Another really good way for me to try to write about my experiences, then I can get into them and out of them quickly too, so it may be more interesting and engaging to read

I'll have a play and maybe post a diary entry onto one of the boards in the future xxx

Great idea too

I really love Mumsnet
Thank you

Really good points xx

So, so helpful.

Thank you

Thank you I haven't read Pearls book,

I'm going to get it today

Thanks I'll look at them
I'm not well off any more 🫠🫶🏻🥹🫠😂 well I would say I am very lucky compared to the next person

Holy god that's a bomb
But a great writer should certainly be well paid.
I've not got the attention span to fine tune what I write it's all so raw and crude, badly punctuated and sometimes I use the wrong words to describe things, too 🫠 xx

Good luck op. It will be expensive and time consuming and hard work but not impossible.

It's not for me unfortunately. I have been through a lot of trauma as a child/teen and I have buried so much I couldn't wrote it down as I have 'forgotten' and would prefer it to stay there. I avoid stories like this so it doesn't make me remember if that makes sense.

But others like them..
Ironically my mum caused 95% of my trauma and she loved these books.... 🙄

Thank you , I haven't ever written anything except a diary entry really. So this is a good idea for a hobby write, too.

Writing is a brilliant thing to get into. Why not have a go at it yourself, as a therapeutic project, and ultimately self-publish on Amazon? You could sign up for a writing course to get you started.

So sorry you've been so traumatised and gone quiet. I'm pretty quiet about it in my own life.
I just feel very strongly about it.
I can't publish a memoir or book yet but I want to write it whilst it's raw
I'm not in a space where I've healed enough to be able to tell the next part,
Maybe I just need some more writing books and pens and to carry on writing at home

Thanks you op. I wish you well. The thing is I haven't actually gone quiet. I've literally forgotten. It's like my brain has deleted undesirable memories. Not just from that but in general. Some sort of coping mechanism

Really good idea, I really do like this

Honestly as a mother myself I can see the anguish now, I was so physically sick as well as mentally sick, but it all began for a good reason.

It's frustrating that privilege automatically means that as a child regardless of your biological or circumstances, society expects you to be able to make the right choice. I couldn't, didn't and I struggled for it. I wasn't wise but who can blame someone who's a kid, basically?

Sober lit/ rehab lit is pretty popular but I’d be realistic about its likely impact/ audience. A lot of people read these books to find out about the idiotic/ shocking/ humiliating/dangerous things the writer did while drunk/ high. They stop reading/start skimming at the redemption part, so your story will be car crash entertainment rather than self-help to a large percentage of your audience unless the redemption bit involves some huge dangerous feat ( like Cheryl Strayed). Sorry to put it bluntly but it’s the truth. If you want a publisher you need sales numbers and the gritty details creates mass readership from a relatively small self help market. You may end up having to give more than you want to/ feel comfortable with.

Have you considered writing fiction but based on your experiences?

Illiiterato, I completely disagree I like the redemption bits best

You need to separate out the different things.

One, you want to write an addiction memoir. Good for you. It will probably be personally helpful and cathartic, and you definitely should.

Two, you’ve never written anything before, don’t know anything about writing, and don’t seem to read widely outside specific memoirs that you feel reflect your own experience. Not a problem, either, if you’re just writing for you, as a private cathartic act. There are courses and books on memoir/life-writing.

But, three — all these things become an issue if you want/expect to publish your memoir. Publishing is an industry, and you will generally need to be taken on by an agent first, after you have written your book, who will then submit it to editors, and both agent and editor will only accept your book if they think it will sell. Meaning it needs a USP, strong writing, originality. Which are entirely different qualities to you wanting to get something down for your own sake, or to help others.

For instance, this was a big success a few years back — Amy Liptrot’s The Outrun:

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2016/jan/22/the-outrun-amy-liptrot-review-by-will-self

You can see why an agent and editor took it on, why it won prizes and there’s a Saoirse Ronan film being made of it. The author grew up on an Orkney croft with a ‘good lifer’ bipolar father and a born again Christian mother, became an alcoholic drug addict during a chaotic ten years in London and returned to Orkney newly sober to work in conservation. It’s nature writing as well as an addiction memoir, with beautiful, brutal settings and a vivid backstory. Her ‘now’ in recovery is as interesting as her backstory. Also, the author is an excellent writer.

See also Cheryl Strayed’s Wild.

Basically, I think you need to distinguish your desire to write this and your motivation to do so ( and I think that a book you intend mostly for your family to read would need to be quite different to one intended to help addicts in recovery) from the marketing/saleability requirements you would need to think about if you wanted to try to publish this via the traditional route.

By all means write, or have it written.
But practically no one will want to read it.