Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Please help with my addiction it is too much now

59 replies

meowed · 10/07/2023 22:19

I am always on my phone. I’m a lone parent and have constant low level anxiety. I find myself scrolling for literally hours, 7-11pm just to avoid my thoughts after dc is in bed. I’m not really reading things properly on it! Even when he’s awake in the day I will have it glued to my hand, checking banking, texts, social media. I’m not really doing anything on it, it’s literally compulsive.

I’ve tried switching it off but then I have anxiety that I’m not contactable for family. My parents won’t accept me saying my phone will be off, they’d forget and then worry if I didn’t respond for a day.

I just want to cut back. It’s averaging a horrific number of hours a day. I feel so much better when I’ve had even fifteen minutes away from it. I feel so sad I can’t control it, anyone had this? What to do?

OP posts:

BrunoMarzipan · 12/07/2023 05:07

It depends what you do with your phone I think. I haven't had a mobile for 12 years, (I'm 33 and yes I'm mad) but I still have a landline. And no-one can bother me unless they have my email address lol or landline number.

Would your parents have a set a time to call them? I know it sounds bizarre but it worked for me lol. I can have insta, Facebook, tiktok etc if I want on the kindle I have, the basic one so still have Netflix, Disney etc.

sunshineandtea · 12/07/2023 12:37

Thanks to this thread I have ordered a dumb phone from Amazon! I plan to put the sim in it and use that as my normal phone and this iPhone be put upstairs away for checking periodically.

Actually quite excited!

pineapple360 · 12/07/2023 14:44

A silly question - would an iPhone sim work in a dumb phone?

justlass · 13/07/2023 10:29

I spend far too much time on my smart phone too, but can't ditch it, because my kids and mum contact me on messenger, dd is abroad so it's much easier and cheaper than anything else, other people contact me only on WhatsApp and can't send photos by mms. I periodically delete most apps to try and cut down, but it is very addictive.

Ariela · 13/07/2023 11:22

Can you crochet, knit or quilt blankets for a worthwhile cause eg Project Linus? Or teach yourself to.

I'm thinking if your hands are busy you cannot scroll.

sunshineandtea · 16/07/2023 07:22

pineapple360 · 12/07/2023 14:44

A silly question - would an iPhone sim work in a dumb phone?

I just bought a 99p SIM and popped out the nana part, put mine in and voila, it's a big SIM again. Works fine

babbscrabbs · 16/07/2023 08:01

TWmover · 11/07/2023 10:36

The phone gives a short term dopamine hit, I'm a bit back to doing it again but I have had times when I've been completely indifferent to my phone (literally looking at it a couple of times a day). What made it possible was having more other things daily that provide dopamine instead. (Protein, exercise, meditation....etc) there are lots of articles on it if you Google it. The other thing that has helped has been to make a list of things that make me feel good, then separating them out into low/medium/high energy. Then picking something from that dependent on my energy level rather than looking at my phone. The more things i do from that list, the less drawn I am to look at my phone.

Love this thank you

Also hate to say it but I blocked Mumsnet for some time and I used my phone quite a lot less then!

babbscrabbs · 16/07/2023 08:03

user1492757084 · 12/07/2023 04:08

Try every one's hints; it is a problem we all have to overcome.
Delete any not wanted apps - why waste the world's energy on scrolling or reading them?
You might need a technition to help you turn off many apps.
Turn off all notifications except for phone calls.
Call your family at the same time every day, at a point when you would most love to hear their support and make it a real talking.call.
Plug your phone in to recharge out of your bedroom overnight.
It is so rude to see a phone at the meal table or to prioritise a phone when real people/children are in your vacinity - teach proper manners and expectations of respect to your child by modeling no phone at those times.
Model safe walking near traffic and when driving by having your phone away in your handbag and turned off.
Use cash or cards and get used to not feeling your phone all the time.
Keep your phone away out of sight when at home.
Use more time doing things you want to do.
Explore new adventures, artistic hobbies, music, gardening - Become a more skilled and interesting person and meet new friends.
Is there a reward that you could give yourself for every three hour stint away from the phone?

Your phone is a tool for your use - not a device to control your life, posture, communication with your child, inhibit your social skills, stop you reading, knitting, dancing etc..

Another great post thank you. Right I'm switching off! X

Watchagotch72 · 16/07/2023 08:56

i think that mindless scrolling on phones is very like alcohol / drugs / shopping / sex - all the things that people become addicted to. And it’s often because we are dissatisfied or unhappy or want distracted from some aspect of our life that is unsatisfactory. I’m sure for anyone with anxiety this is doubly so.

I know that when I’m mindlessly scrolling on Twitter or MN or whatever (and it has been made very very easy for me thanks to the huge profits of having the maximum eyeballs on screens) I don’t have to think about the fact that I’m overweight and unfit, that I’m not sure what DS will do when he leaves school, that my pension is really shit and I really need to do something (what?) about that, that DH and I are arguing, that my work is boring and unfulfilling, that my younger DS is really shy and doesn’t have many friends, that my parents are getting older and needing more help from a distance, that DHs sister really doesn’t like me and we’ve agreed to spend a week together on holiday, etc etc ad infinitum.

going on my phone switches off my brain so that I don’t have to think about any of that in the moment. Of course all these issues are still there when I log off - if anything it’s worse because I am switched off, numbed, disengaged and doing nothing about them.

Flip

1 2 3