AIBU to feel miffed about the group chat?

[ThatFraggle]

When my brother got engaged we set up a group chat for wedding planning. Me, my husband & parents, my two sisters, their husbands, my brother, his fiancé (a very lovely lady). After the wedding the group was not deleted and became a place for general chat.

We had another group chat for years. Our nuclear family. None of my sisters or me have spouses in that chat. But my brother added his wife. AIBU to want there to have been a group where we exchange old photos and talk about, 'remember when the dog' etc.

It changes the dynamic. Of course I wouldn't mind if he shows her, but having her in has just killed the thing.

The former wedding one is still used for arranging lunches, baby photos etc. AIBU to want a 'birth family' group?

Obviously, I won't say anything, because it would only cause problems, but AIBU to feel a bit miffed?

@SnapBang

This is your family now. Family is a beautiful, growing (if you’re lucky), messy, supportive, loyal group of people who spend their lives entangled and caring for on another in various ways. Your brother’s wife is his present and future. You can be too if you don’t act immaturely and cause a rift. Enjoy your big engaged family and stop picking holes

I agree with this so much.

People grow and change. Family & friendship groups do the same. There’s always that one person trying to preserve the original unit in aspic. You know that girl you went to uni with who keeps trying to arrange reunions excluding all the boyfriends & girlfriends long after everyone else has moved on? That’s you, that is.

That's the point. Times change. Therefore it is nice to have a place to reminisce.

I totally get where you’re coming from OP and would feel exactly the same. The comments are clearly split on this one! Im
on a group with all my grown up children but not their partners. The whole vibe would change if they were added and rightly or wrongly I wouldn’t enjoy the group chat so much even though I think the world of my children’s partners and have great relationships with them all.

I was going to say YABU until seen that NO spouses were in that chat. In all honestly, just treat the chat like you always did. You can't dictate to you is in a group chat unfortunately.