AIBU about my kids' diet (vegetarian)

[Veggiedinnertime]

Both of my children (DD7 and DS5) are vegetarian. They made the choice themselves and have been veggie for several months now.

DH and I are supportive of their choice, but we're really struggling to find veggie alternatives for them. They love eggs and cheese, and we found a soya burger they'll eat, but otherwise it's thin pickings. DS is better than DD with eating fruit and vegetables, but neither of them will eat those veggies that make hearty meat alternatives like mushrooms or peppers. DD dislikes almost all fruit and vegetables, even strawberries, melon and other stuff that kids often love. Spices etc are an absolute no-no.

Neither of them are underweight; on the contrary, we're a bit desperate about DD and, replacing meat with carbs and dairy so that she'll eat something/anything, she's actually putting weight on rapidly and she's looking quite unwell (less sparkly eyed etc).

If anyone could give advice I'd really appreciate it. We're going to see a family nutritionist in the school holidays but I'd like to do something ASAP and find a way to support their choice while keeping them both healthy. Thanks very much.

Being vegetarian doesn't give you mental health issues. It sounds like you may have have a bad diet rather than it just being vegetarian.

If anything. it's a lot of meat that is hard on the digestion. Kids who are fussy eaters, who will eat meat but zero fruit and vegetables, pulses or wholegrains, are very likely to suffer from constipation.

Pinch Nom have lots of tasty veggie recipes that I’m sure whole family will enjoy. I’ve been veggie since childhood and not had nutrition issues but have also not been pigeon holed so have def had the odd prawn or bacon sandwich. It’s hardly falling off the wagon and they could def be encouraged to feel free to occasionally try other foods if they fancy it without having failed as a vegetarian. I eat many of the things people have suggested here. Fajitas with Halloumi, falafel pitas and lentil shep pie are all winners. Lentils, tofu and mushrooms often can substitute meat in many dishes.

My DD stopped eating meat at about 2 and is also quite restricted in what she would eat (textures related) and despite that, it was still possible to get a balanced diet down her.
Most kids are much less bothered by repetition and boring meals than adults. Safe, repeatable meals are often preferred.
DD ate variations on the same school lunch for 5 years quite happily.
My red line was fish. She had to eat it occasionally - maybe once a week or less.
If your children will eat lentils and green veg, that's great.
You need to think about food groups and making sure that they have enough of each - but it might not look the same as yours.
I didn't join DD on her food choices so we would often and still do, eat different meals. In the last couple of years she has started eating meat again and likes spicy and well seasoned food - palates can and do change over time.

As a vegetarian parent - I'd start by having their iron levels checked. If it's low then there's the option of either they supplement being veggie with additional iron, they decide to eat a more varied iron-rich diet or else they switch back to eating meat.

Mine are a similar age - fussy eaters and have been through similar phases - me and DH are vegetarians. They have tried all the options and now both have chosen to eat enough meat to keep their iron levels healthy for growing rather than take supplements as they're both too fussy to get adequate iron through a vegetarian diet.

The way I see it - they're still little. You have responsibility for making sure they have an adequate diet. If they're going to choose to be veggie then they also need to choose to eat some iron-rich stuff. Beans, lentils etc all great, you can do lentil spaghetti bolognese etc, all tasty and nutritious. I wouldn't turn it into a battle, just simply explain that these are the options.

It wouldn't be a question of stopping them from doing something though would it? It would actually be trying to coerce or force them into doing something. If, rightly or wrongly in your opinion a child has an aversion to eating meat and fish, I can't imagine it would do much for their MH were their parent to force them to consume it against their will. Not to mention the impracticality of it. The OP struggles to get them to eat fruit and veg. How is she supposed to get them to eat foods they have decided are 'wrong'?

I went veggie at 9. My parents did a lot of pasta dishes, quiche, then veggie burger and simple veggies. Cheese on toast, beans on toast. Omelettes. Tbh at their ages they will still be quite fussy, I know I was, but I did grow out of it.

When I was really fussy and wouldn’t even eat quiche my mum would make cheese stars out of the remaining short crust pastry.

You can hide a lot of veggies in a pasta sauce just blend it up.

I thought, as it’s an animal derived protein, it’ll have all the essential amino acids in it? Doesn’t chicken also have tryptophan?

In any case, fish at least would be good to include?

@Sissynova is right,

"Being vegetarian is a red herring though and a bit of a red cloth for some people to foam at.
If they don't eat much fruit and veg now they weren't before when they ate meat so their diet likely hasn't changed much.
Adding meat to what they currently eat doesn't actually make their diet any healthier so it isn't the solution to the problem.
No you can't lively a healthy lifestyle eating only pasta and cheese, but pasta cheese and sausage or nuggets isn't any better!"

Exactly. There is so much misinformation here. 😕 Meat is classified as a carcinogen by the World Health Organisation and Cancer Research U.K. so you're doing the right thing by cutting it out OP.

www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/causes-of-cancer/diet-and-cancer/does-eating-processed-and-red-meat-cause-cancer

2 thoughts:

1. You could try to get more creative with your cooking, and gain a better understanding of vegetarian cooking. It is very much possible for children to be vegetarian and have a great diet. Look up some vegetarian cook books - there is one called 'Mob Veggie' which is really good for family meals.

2. Your kids need to understand that in order to be healthy, they need to eat a varied diet and try different things. Talk to them about this. This is regardless of whether or not they are vegetarian. If a 7 year old is refusing all fruit, veg and 'spices etc' there is something going on there - she really should be eating fruit and veg.

I went vegetarian at 5 years old despite my parents and I'm completely fine. Ignore all the ignorant posters here. My children are tall, strong and healthy and have been veggie since birth. My son was very fussy growing up. (He's just growing out of it at 13 so there is hope!). There are so many good suggestions here and online. Well done for supporting your child in their choices.