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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Last minute invite

61 replies

Loulec · 09/07/2023 09:40

DS is 5 and in reception, he is very close with his best friend in class and told me this week it was his birthday. Last night at 9:58pm his friends’ mum text me to say she’s having family and friends over with bouncy castles and slides for a party and asks if my DS wants to come over to play for a few hours for the next day. To me my son was a complete after thought considering how close we already know they are and how late I’ve been told. Plus we do have plans for part of the day - weather permitting- but had I known before I would have made sure he can go. Am I wrong for declining the invitation?

OP posts:

chickenwings2 · 09/07/2023 11:38

Wow what an overreaction. I'd have just thought they were thinking should we invite a school friend then got in touch?

Babsexxx · 09/07/2023 12:08

Part of the day/weather dependant in your original post = flimsy.

WonderfulUsername · 09/07/2023 12:20

Loulec · 09/07/2023 11:10

Thanks for all opinions, only reason I asked was because the other mum said I was wrong for declining and wouldn’t accept that we already have plans. I don’t know them very well so I thought it was a bit off.

anyway we’re setting off early to have a lovely Sunday!

Really?

Xeren · 09/07/2023 12:35

NoTouch · 09/07/2023 10:24

There was no hysteria (from me anyway!) but introducing rusty cages might be bordering on it. 🤣

The way forums work is posters discuss a subject which also includes discussion between posters, it would be very boring if it was only replies to op and not a developing conversation.

I can read the rest of you post, but was interested on how you specifically think your dc's "worth" would be affected either positively or negatively, and by whom, by accepting/declining an invite?

Show quote history

Well given that the birthday boy’s mum called up OP and berated her for not changing her plans and attend her precious child’s birthday party it sounds like that the other mum didn’t think they had much worth herself!

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 09/07/2023 12:37

If it is outside, it's likely she was waiting to see what the weather was looking like before inviting people. A few kids in the garden is ok but a few running round your house on a rainy day can be absolute chaos

Xeren · 09/07/2023 12:37

Loulec · 09/07/2023 11:10

anyway we’re setting off early to have a lovely Sunday!

Yikes!

Hope you have a lovely day - enjoy!🥰

redskytwonight · 09/07/2023 12:41

Loulec · 09/07/2023 11:23

I said
hi * I’m sorry but ** cannot come as we already have plans and will be out for the day. I hope you all have a good time.

She then called me to question why we couldn’t change our plans and stuck to the point that we already had plans and her invite came last minute

Show quote history

This is sounding like the other parent dropped the ball. Her DC asked if your DS could come, she said "yes, of course he can" and then promptly forgot all about it until last night. She's now in a panic as you can't come and her DC is expecting your DS.

If it was easy to change your plans, I probably would, just to be obliging. But I woudln't go out of my way to do so (which sounds like your case).

drpet49 · 09/07/2023 12:50

Loulec · 09/07/2023 11:23

I said
hi * I’m sorry but ** cannot come as we already have plans and will be out for the day. I hope you all have a good time.

She then called me to question why we couldn’t change our plans and stuck to the point that we already had plans and her invite came last minute

Show quote history

She sounds batshit crazy. I’d keep a distance from her.

WandaWonder · 09/07/2023 12:51

If my child had an opportunity for a fun day and I was able to make it why would I come up with some drama about how it happened?

Yes I would take them

NoTouch · 09/07/2023 14:20

Xeren · 09/07/2023 12:35

Show quote history

Latest post shows the other mother is obviously a bit batshit, it is likely she has fucked up somehow, has a spoilt "worthy" brat at home who thinks OPs child is very "worthy" too and is trying to save the party.

You are clearly not going to answer the specific question I asked, so I'll leave it, but I would suggest you have a think about determining "worth" of your child based on their acceptance or decline of an invite to a 5 year olds party - it is unhealthy to think of your child in that way - either go if you are free or don't if you don't want to, don't overthink it, the 5 year olds won't either.

Eve171 · 09/07/2023 15:53

Loulec · 09/07/2023 11:23

I said
hi * I’m sorry but ** cannot come as we already have plans and will be out for the day. I hope you all have a good time.

She then called me to question why we couldn’t change our plans and stuck to the point that we already had plans and her invite came last minute

Show quote history

I'm sorry, but I don't believe this at all. Because surely you'd bring up that you were a last minute invite and you'd find out why she didn't originally include your kid and then you'd have more of a story to tell here.

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