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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go out if DC has stomach flu

26 replies

teoma · 08/07/2023 18:24

One of my children has stomach flu. She’s been vomiting and is more droopy than normal but the doctor said she should be fine within a few days. Quite unfortunately, that coincided with the visit of an old uni friend who’s in town for one night only. We’ve had drinks booked for over 2 months. My partner is happy to stay home and look after the children. I will be around 30 mins away from home. AIBU not to cancel on my friend?

OP posts:
Siameasy · 08/07/2023 18:25

Of course you’re fine to go

PeachesOnTheBeaches · 08/07/2023 18:25

YANBU. Why would you cancel? Confused

SouthLondonMum22 · 08/07/2023 18:27

Of course you can still go.

VisionsOfSplendour · 08/07/2023 18:28

I don't know what stomach flu is, is it highly contagious? I assume it must be quite serious if your child has had to see a doctor, why not explain to your friend and let them decide

Original poster
teoma · 08/07/2023 18:28

Just that I’m fresh out of mat leave and feel quite anxious - not that I don’t trust their dad.

OP posts:
Newbutoldfather · 08/07/2023 18:29

Is your partner your child’s father. If so, definitely no issues.

If not, it would depend on how long you have been together, how reliable he is with your children etc.

AppleKatie · 08/07/2023 18:30

‘Stomach flu’ is not a thing.

you mean one of your dc has a standard childhood virus and has vomited a few times?

leave them with their father and go out with your friend.

Wrennie24 · 08/07/2023 18:30

No idea what stomach flu is. Is it D and V? Are you American? I'm sure Dad will cope just fine.

FluffyFlannery · 08/07/2023 18:31

Stomach flu is contagious. I'd tell my friend and let her decide.

londonrach · 08/07/2023 18:32

No idea what stomach flu is but if it's d and v do you really want to gift that to your friend. For that reason only yabu.

ChesterAndRaoul · 08/07/2023 18:32

I wouldn't be worried about leaving DC in the care of their dad, I would feel a bit guilty about potentially spreading a virus to my friend.

I would tell her the issue, and if she's not bothered then go.

HamBone · 08/07/2023 18:34

I’d definitely let my friend know and let her decide. D&V viruses are often highly contagious and personally, I wouldn’t want to meet up with you!

MuMmaOf3littles · 08/07/2023 18:34

I'd be letting your friend make the choice of whether you meet up or not. If it were me, I wouldn't be happy with someone turning up knowing they've got a stomach bug going round in their household. They're so easily spread, even if you feel fine now.

Juanmartinez · 08/07/2023 18:34

If you're just worried about leaving your child with their father then Yabu, if you're worried about maybe your friend catching a d and v bug then not quite so unreasonable, do you have symptoms too, will your friend come in contact with your child?

Mariposista · 08/07/2023 19:08

Your child is with her father - an EQUAL parent to you. Of course you can go.

DinoMummsy · 09/07/2023 14:54

Definitely prewarn your friend so they can decide whether they want to risk catching d&v. Wish everyone was that considerate - our whole family have just had d&v over this last week, thanks to selfish DB visiting when, unbeknown to us, was still recovering from d&v. V selfish not to at least warn ppl you might be contagious.

Hugasauras · 09/07/2023 15:01

I wouldn't really think about it from the perspective of leaving my child if she was being looked after by other parent, but I would in the sense that stomach bugs are v contagious so if we had one in the home I probably would rearrange any social occasions to prevent spreading it.

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 09/07/2023 15:04

I wouldn't go because I wouldn't want to pass the bug on to my friend.

MrsSkylerWhite · 09/07/2023 15:05

cinnamonfrenchtoast · Today 15:04
I wouldn't go because I wouldn't want to pass the bug on to my friend.”

This. You could be brewing it. I’d rearrange.

Crunchymum · 09/07/2023 15:13

Question to everyone saying no in case she passes it on to her friend, do you keep healthy kids off if one of your DC get a tummy bug? Do other adults stay off work as to no spread it?

I'm an emetophobe so my perception is off. Pre DC I'd not want to be around anyone who has been around someone who has a tummy bug but now I have 3 DC [and have had therapy] I've sent in well children when one is poorly (we touch wood don't seem to catch each others tummy bugs)

It's a huge grey area and I'd let my friend decide.

If its purely about trusting dad for a few hours, then that's your call. I'd say go but if you aren't going to be relaxed and have a good time then maybe don't?

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 09/07/2023 15:26

Question to everyone saying no in case she passes it on to her friend, do you keep healthy kids off if one of your DC get a tummy bug? Do other adults stay off work as to no spread it?

Well, you have to work and kids have to go to school, but you don't have to go out and socialise. That's the difference to me.

Cheeseandlobster · 09/07/2023 15:28

FluffyFlannery · 08/07/2023 18:31

Stomach flu is contagious. I'd tell my friend and let her decide.

This. If I was your friend I would want to reschedule

CatsSnore · 09/07/2023 15:31

I hate sick bugs but I'd still go and meet my friend. Just don't share drinks and give her the heads up.

TinaYouFatLard · 09/07/2023 15:33

Crunchymum · 09/07/2023 15:13

Question to everyone saying no in case she passes it on to her friend, do you keep healthy kids off if one of your DC get a tummy bug? Do other adults stay off work as to no spread it?

I'm an emetophobe so my perception is off. Pre DC I'd not want to be around anyone who has been around someone who has a tummy bug but now I have 3 DC [and have had therapy] I've sent in well children when one is poorly (we touch wood don't seem to catch each others tummy bugs)

It's a huge grey area and I'd let my friend decide.

If its purely about trusting dad for a few hours, then that's your call. I'd say go but if you aren't going to be relaxed and have a good time then maybe don't?

As a fellow (recovering) emetophobe I’ve always felt that siblings and other family members should stay home from school until you can reasonably assume the household is clear. I can remember the dread feeling when a parent cheerfully announces that their other child was up puking all night.

I know this is probably unreasonable and my phobia taking because I don’t feel the same about other illnesses.

OP you should definitely warn your friend. I would not want to meet you.

TheOrigRights · 09/07/2023 15:42

If you mean she has a possibly contagious virus then I would contact me friend so they can make an informed decision.

I can see the MN post on Tuesday:
I came down with a sickness bug today. Turns out the child of the friend I met at the weekend was ill with the same thing.

Your friend might have very good reason to do what she can to avoid getting ill, or she might be fine. Let her decide.