SIL and the hobbit feet

[PlumPudd]

We have a toddler and a new baby, so needless to say life is a bit busy at the moment and minor things like … oh I don’t know … eating, sleeping and showers are taking a back seat

DP just came back from seeing her sister for a quick catch up and apparently SIL told her she should look after the baby for a bit so I could go to a salon and get my hobbit feet sorted out, preferably before her husband’s fancy 40th in a few weeks, because it’s probably really awful for me to be so neglected and DP should be anticipating that I need some me time!!

HOW DO I TAKE RESPOND TO THIS?

A) assume it’s a genuine offer of concern. Yes I haven’t had a pedicure or a polish in a while, so perhaps my feet are a bit hobbity and I should get myself down to a salon as SIL suggests - lest they scare the other guests at BIL’s lovely (pretentious) party.

B) ignore the potential snarkyness of the comment and carry on. At this stage my feet are functional not decorative - if they get me up and down the stairs and to the playground they are doing their job. The nails are short and clean, they don’t need to be anything more. Well done feet. I want to use the precious time when the toddler is napping and DP is holding the baby to cook, eat and maybe read a few pages of book - not have a bloody pedicure. Perhaps lovely feet are important to SIL but they aren’t to me right now.

C) go on the offensive. Buy an a pair of fancy dress hobbit feet from the internet and wear them (with a lovely dress) to the party. If SIL asks what’s going on, pretend they are my actual feet.

Multitask. Go and have a pedicure and read a book while it’s being done.

She's rude and a bloody sexist to boot.

Women's bodies aren't for prettying up the world.

She's not being nice, she's shaming you for the natural state of your body, did she suggest the same for your husband's feet?

I'm all for C personally

Who brought up hobbit feet? Your dp or her sister? I've told people my cousin needs to get someone to mind the kids to sort out her hair and legs because every time I'm on the phone she mentions it and I feel it's a super quick win for her. Anyone listening might think I'm an absolute bitch though. So it could be your dp saying hobbit feet in which case she's the wagon not SIL.

She probably meant it nicely (in her own head) but it came off pass agg and sexist (because it is).

Do what you want with your own feet and SIL can mind her own.

D) sack of the party and do something that you actually want to do during that time.

what a bitch.

Shes being utterly ridiculous. And mean. Ive never had a pedicure and no desire to. Does that mean Im some sort of lesser human.
Deffo opt for B. Or C if you'd rather be more confrontational.

Did she use the term hobbit feet? I imagined hobbit feet to be very hairy.
Unless she's paying for your pedicure, I wouldn't do a thing. While I'd love to be brave enough to wear fancy dress hobbit feet, I wouldn't get a pedicure just to please a cf.

I bet that her husband and yours both have hairy feet and she wouldn't make them get them waxed.

How do you know it was said that way and not your partner engineering it and twisting it?

I'm voting for C. What a cheeky b*%#%. Not everyone wants painted toes. I do but they aren't always looking great. I'm sat looking at mine now and the varnish is chipped a little! But it's not the end of the world. Some people are so focused on superficial things.

Isn't SIL telling your DP in a lighthearted way that she shouldn't just be valiantly holding the baby whilst you do the cooking, but that you should be prioritised in terms of encouraging moments of self care and indulgence - you know, what with you having just had a baby and all that?

Focusing on her comment about Hobbit Feet (if she even said that and it wasn't your DP using the term) could be distracting away from an absence of proper care from your DP.

OP's partner is very clearly female.

I'm struggling to picture what ordinary, unpedicured feet could be doing to deserve being described that way.

C

mYbe it’s not about painted toenails and more about your actual feet? If you’ve got 3 inches of hard yellow / grey cracked skin onyour heels then yes they probably do need some maintenance. I left mine to get so bad once the cracks were about a cm deep and really painful to walk on. If there’re left to get that bad it’s not an overnight fix.
Once I could hear a clicking noise as I walked barefoot across the floor, had a look and there was a drawing pin stuck in there , couldn’t even feel it!! Feet are important.

C

is she at all correct that she has observed you two and realised your dp could be giving you a little more free time? Whatever you want to use it for!

I wouldn’t get a pedicure unless I felt like it. Ignore. Neat clean toenails sound ok to me. She will be too busy being pretentious at her dhs party to notice your feet then. (To be nice, maybe she’s stressed about her dhs judginess if he’s that pretentious, and wants to protect you from it?)

I’d go for option D- sack off the stupid party and have a lovely afternoon to yourself

Next time someone says something insulting stand up to them. “That’s really a rude thing to say SIL. Did you know?”

Definitely C.

B

Heh?
She actually said you had hobbit feet, and your partner relayed this back to you word for word , with no emotion?

You know your SIL... So sack off the party if she's actually mean.But I find it hard to believe your partner just paraphrased this.

I mean...now you've suggested it C sounds fabulous. I'd have to do that I think. It would amuse me throughout the entire, pretentious evening. Ebay do a pair for a tenner - be cheaper than a pedicure!

I'd take it in a jokey way and take her up on the offer of some child free time. Unless there's some big back story of how she's always mean.

I just had a mani pedi today 2 hours of bliss. Great idea SIL I'm offski