SIL and the hobbit feet

[PlumPudd]

We have a toddler and a new baby, so needless to say life is a bit busy at the moment and minor things like … oh I don’t know … eating, sleeping and showers are taking a back seat

DP just came back from seeing her sister for a quick catch up and apparently SIL told her she should look after the baby for a bit so I could go to a salon and get my hobbit feet sorted out, preferably before her husband’s fancy 40th in a few weeks, because it’s probably really awful for me to be so neglected and DP should be anticipating that I need some me time!!

HOW DO I TAKE RESPOND TO THIS?

A) assume it’s a genuine offer of concern. Yes I haven’t had a pedicure or a polish in a while, so perhaps my feet are a bit hobbity and I should get myself down to a salon as SIL suggests - lest they scare the other guests at BIL’s lovely (pretentious) party.

B) ignore the potential snarkyness of the comment and carry on. At this stage my feet are functional not decorative - if they get me up and down the stairs and to the playground they are doing their job. The nails are short and clean, they don’t need to be anything more. Well done feet. I want to use the precious time when the toddler is napping and DP is holding the baby to cook, eat and maybe read a few pages of book - not have a bloody pedicure. Perhaps lovely feet are important to SIL but they aren’t to me right now.

C) go on the offensive. Buy an a pair of fancy dress hobbit feet from the internet and wear them (with a lovely dress) to the party. If SIL asks what’s going on, pretend they are my actual feet.

If this was my SIL it would be a - a rebuke to my dh for not recognising that I need a breather and extrapolating this to something she'd enjoy (with a bit of tongue in cheek mocking of my hairy toes thrown in in the same way she'd mock her brother).

I think only you will know the intention here.

Hobbit feet means hairy feet, so why not just plait the hair decoratively and add a nice silk ribbon for the 40th birthday party?

C would be awesome!!! But I would probably go with B

I’d go with option c all the way. Spiteful cow.

I say embrace it and wear these

Definitely C.

I wouldn’t be going to her shitty party, personally. What a rude cow.

She sounds funny. Don’t take everything to heart. You could always use the free time to do something you want.

This is making me wish I did have hairy feet - I’d totally plait it and wear ribbons, perhaps a nice French braid with some little beads in it?!?

Don’t go to the party if you weren’t keen in the first place. And tell your DP to deal with SIL’s lack of social grace - they should both be very embarrassed about it, as I’m sure you would if you heavy-handedly insulted one of your DP’s relatives while trying desperately to be funny, or if one of your relatives did it to DP.

Why would you have your feet out at her husband’s party? What sort of party person even is he??

PS. There are people who pay good money for feet pics, the Hobbit-ier the better.

Message her telling her not to say anything to your DP but you sell photos of your feet to men with a hobbit foot fetish on toesoftheshire.co.uk and it’s supplementing your maternity pay quite nicely.

I think it’s probably more that she (SIL) thinks having regular pedicures and blow dries is essential and that it’s shaming and weird for me not to have them.

She’s a nice person, she’s just a bit spoilt and thinks women who aren’t manicured, made up and shaven are to be pitied or that something is wrong with them (probably in the same way I’d think something was wrong if a friend appeared in really dirty clothes, or with matted hair). She’s just not capable of understanding that her priorities are personal, not universal.

I actually like spending my down moments cooking - largely because when the toddler is napping one of us has to hold the baby, and one has to cook the tea and as I’ve had the baby on me all day like a lovely limpet it’s quite a nice breather to have both hands free and go and chop the sh*t out of some onions

That would sort of kill two birds with one stone because those actually look like they’ve got quite a snazzy layer of gold nail polish on the toes

C or D, where you don’t bother with going….. How rude of her….

Even before you offered options, c was what popped into my mind 😂

She’s making a kind offer. Take it and don’t see it as snarky.

Some families have a way of being rude to each other in an affectionate way. I know it’s something I’d not see as snark. She’s being kind!

Please go with optician C, just to see the look on her face!!!!!

Why would your partner pass this on to you? Is she a shit-stirrer? Does she often undermine your self-confidence by telling you other people are criticising you?

I've never had a pedicure or a polish in my life. And I think my feet look fine.

I just can't get into the head of someone who thinks like your SIL. It must be exhausting having to primp every part of her body constantly to feel acceptable to herself and the public. Not to mention the cost.

Laugh at her saying how tacky and cheap it is to make a fuss over how your feet look

This! I think SIL is trying to be humorous and make sure DP let's you get some time on your own.

She's very rude. Sounds like my sil, she means well, I think, but instructed me that just because I'd had a baby it was no excuse to let myself go, and booked me in for a facial and manicure for when I had just given birth. The lovely consultant let me swap the treatments for products!
I really want you to share a photo of your feet on this post @PlumPudd!

What was your partners response to their sister?

C without a doubt, say in tiredness you thought it was a fancy dress and for some reason reason you have been assigned the "hobbit feet".

Tell everyone she said you had hobbit feet so you assumed that's what she meant.