Mum's, how do do it?

[mummatam]

I am exhausted. I'm a first time mum to a very happy 15 week old girl. I have a hands on DH and my mum and dad are nearby if I need help. But wow, I am in awe of mums. SAHMs, working mums, all mums. Please share how you find a spare half hour in your day... Any spare time I get, I just want to sleep. I used to love doing things with my day eg. Baking something, going for a browse in shops or to a gallery.. but now I just don't care. I would rather nap. I barely get dressed properly or do my hair or makeup. I can't seem to muster up the energy to do anything beyond making sure baby is happy, entertained, fed, bathed etc.

I walk down the road and see women dressed nicely with young and multiple children. I wonder how on earth they're so put together. I feel like the entire motherhood thing has hit me like a bus. I don't even care about going on holiday because it feels like too much effort with a dependent.

How do you do it mums?

Some of us just aren't cut out for babies!

Every minute seemed like a day to me, I do really sympathise.

Ours are older now, and I'm thoroughly enjoying it. You will too.

It does (gradually) get better.

All mothers perform daily miracles. I didn't sleep properly for 5 years.
A top tip is to dress them, if doing a night nappy change whilst asleep . Mine were like dressing a snake.
You are not alone and you are doing a great job op.

I was lucky enough to have mine before the days of constant posting for every little thing, I was also the first of our circle to have a baby and we also lived abroad, away from 'helpful' family. I just did what seemed right, I don't think I ever asked others about it, maybe the professionals, I trusted my own judgement. No doubt by today's norms I would be judged a terrible mother but not having all the twee language, eg what the hell's 'sleep training'? made life much easier. As I wasn't working I went to Spanish lessons, she slept out on a balcony and with number 2 I did an OU degree to stop being too bored.

Cut yourself some slack! You don't need to be perfect ... and anyway, who's judging what's perfect! Good enough IS good enough. You're putting WAY too much pressure on yourself to be some pin-up of what you think you need to be. Being a mum is hard work - anyone who looks like they've got it all covered is probably just the same as you behind closed doors. Take a breath. The only person judging you is you ... if anyone else was genuinely judging your parenting or behavior when you JUST had a baby, they are absolutely not worth your time!

Adjustment after the first baby is the biggest as you go from no baby to having a baby. Any subsequent babies are coming into an already child-centric routine so not everything changes. 15 weeks is incredibly early days. You have gone through the most immense physical and emotional change and it takes time to adjust and find your new groove.
There are massive variety of sleep and feeding patterns which makes a big difference to the day to day feel of things.
Don't be fooled by what you see. You might only be seeing the external, competent looking version of people's lives. It doesn't mean they are always on top of things.
Looking back, I wish I had just relaxed more about those baby years. I was too concerned with getting a feeling of the old me back and I think I missed out on enjoying some of the lovely bits of babies.
Good luck, I'm sure you are doing really well.