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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect ambulance to take my mum into hospital

37 replies

Eyeofthetigers · 07/07/2023 20:15

Come to mums to find her collapsed ok the floor have called an ambulance been waiting ages
could be caused be heart failure s
she is saying she won’t go in but aibu to think she would need to for tests

OP posts:
lljkk · 07/07/2023 20:17

There's no point in saying yabu or yanbu.

Do you have another way to get her to hospital?

ODPintheNHS · 07/07/2023 20:18

It’s her decision ultimately. If she refuses point blank, the ambulance can’t insist she goes.

you are better placed persuading her to go.

nousername0 · 07/07/2023 20:19

If she doesn't want to go and she has mental capacity there isn't much they can do.

Fillyfrog · 07/07/2023 20:19

If she has capacity they can't make her to.

TomatoSandwiches · 07/07/2023 20:19

They won't make her go if she's refusing, I understand your frustration though, my mother does similar.

Fillyfrog · 07/07/2023 20:19

Go*

Redglitter · 07/07/2023 20:21

I think your title is unfair. It's not as if they're refusing to, or say she doesn't need to go. She's refusing. What exactly do you think they can do if she won't go

Beamur · 07/07/2023 20:22

I think I am right in saying they have ECG machines on board and can run basic tests right there and then.
My Mum collapsed at home several years ago and they did something like this. Just to check if it was a heart attack

ejbaxa · 07/07/2023 20:24

I can understand why she doesn’t want to go. I have a parent in this position and my h’s parents have both died since 2020. Often being sent to hospital results in loads of waiting and nothing being done - as far as I can see, the hospital’s number one objective is to discharge. My parents are wondering what the point of going to hospital is. FIL used to not want to go, we didn’t completely understand why at the time.

Ineedsleepandcoffee · 07/07/2023 20:25

Really she should go to hospital to get checked over but at the same time my mum recently went to hospital after a fall and ended up getting kept in for weeks for tests etc. suffered severely with delirium which ended with her falling and needing a hip operation and an even longer stay. It's hard.

Caravanvirgin · 07/07/2023 20:26

If she refuses they can’t make her. Do you think she would listen to paramedic’s advice? Can you take her to A and E yourself?

HunterHearstHelmsley · 07/07/2023 20:28

Has an ambulance come out already or are you waiting?

bellac11 · 07/07/2023 20:29

Redglitter · 07/07/2023 20:21

I think your title is unfair. It's not as if they're refusing to, or say she doesn't need to go. She's refusing. What exactly do you think they can do if she won't go

I think you might have misinterpreted the title

OP is asking, is she right that its likely they will take her to hospital, even if mum is saying she doesnt need to go in

The answer is yes, she probably does need tests but its also no if she refuses

Ponoka7 · 07/07/2023 20:31

Is she now able to stand? Ask her if she is willing to have blood pressure etc done and attend on that basis, if she won't, then cancel the ambulance. If she'll go and is able to stand, get a taxi. Are you going to stay with her tonight if she won't go in? I'd go home and get a bag together and come back.

HeddaGarbled · 07/07/2023 20:32

I think I am right in saying they have ECG machines on board and can run basic tests right there and then

Yes, that’s right. And they’ll do blood pressure & temperature and various other tests. They’re also quite good at persuading reluctant patients to go in with them if they feel it’s necessary.

Don’t argue with her any more: it’ll just make her more determined.

Best of luck.

Kiwiandstrawberries · 07/07/2023 20:33

Wait until paramedics arrive and they can do a fairly detailed assessment ie ecg; BP, full medical assessment. If they think she needs go to AE they are pretty good at persuasion If she has'MC and still refuses there is nothing you can do TBH .

Gytgyt · 07/07/2023 20:34

Redglitter · 07/07/2023 20:21

I think your title is unfair. It's not as if they're refusing to, or say she doesn't need to go. She's refusing. What exactly do you think they can do if she won't go

I agree. To expect as though someone is refusing OP implied the ambulance crew when it's her own mother. They can't force your mum OP.

What about the GP next week?

nocoolnamesleft · 07/07/2023 20:36

They can't take her in if she has capacity and refuses. Though some are quite good at persuading...

rwalker · 07/07/2023 20:37

She’s just going to be confrontational with you drop it and let ambulance crew take the lead

more than likely a uniform and a bit of authority she will be more open to cooperating with them

zizza · 07/07/2023 20:57

I'm wondering more whether it was worth even calling an ambulance. Is she elderly, did she have any pertinent medical history, had she really collapsed or has she just remitted or tripped?

Ambulances IMHO should be for emergencies when it would be unsafe to go to hospital under your own stream. Either she's ill enough to go to hospital in which case take her yourself (taxi of necessary) or just wait and see how she is after something to eat and drink and a call to 111 if you really are concerned there might be more to it

drpet49 · 07/07/2023 21:12

She doesn’t need an ambulance.

Dymaxion · 07/07/2023 21:13

Is she still on the floor ? did she trip or pass out ? is she in pain anywhere ?

If she is mentally fine then she can refuse to go to hospital even if it isn't the best decision.

nixnjj · 07/07/2023 21:29

I have heart failure and sometime faint/fall, I'm 54. If your mum has a diagnosis you could call her heart nurse or care team. I often have funny turns but am used to them and know how to fix it but I someone who doesn't know me see's me it can look worrying. It could be water retention., check for swollen ankle, tummy and wrists If she won't go to the hospital by taxi I would suggest staying with her and try not to worry too much.

Original poster
Eyeofthetigers · 07/07/2023 21:34

bellac11 · 07/07/2023 20:29

I think you might have misinterpreted the title

OP is asking, is she right that its likely they will take her to hospital, even if mum is saying she doesnt need to go in

The answer is yes, she probably does need tests but its also no if she refuses

Show quote history

Thank you for understanding
write in a rush

OP posts:
GoodChat · 07/07/2023 21:35

Paramedics are good at persuading vulnerable patients but get on MN and look after your poor mom