Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stood my husband up to go out with friends ....

35 replies

ilovelamp2 · 07/07/2023 19:25

So there's been a work night out planned tonight for weeks and until the last few days I've been really looking forward to it It's been a tough week at work and mid week I was thinking I would cry off as just had enough. Today was better and everyone was chatting about tonight so I changed my mind .... Feeling shit now as husband had bought wine, burgers for but has driven me into town instead.. Daughter is at her friends, last minute plan, so we could have had the night to ourselves. Tempted to get on first train and come home. To be clear, husband is not cross or grumpy or anything but I can tell he's disappointed and I'm still not entirely sure I can be arsed with everyone. Should I stay or should I go?!

OP posts:
Original poster
ilovelamp2 · 07/07/2023 19:26

BBQ not but....

OP posts:
Charliescat · 07/07/2023 19:28

Go home you spend enough time with work colleagues

MiniCooperLover · 07/07/2023 19:28

I did that in the past, I realised DH a was my future and far more important than a few works drinks

justanothermanicmonday1 · 07/07/2023 19:29

Yeah I'd go home. Wouldn't even think twice.

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 07/07/2023 19:30

Stay and have fun...you can have a nice evening with your husband any evening.

lemonyellows · 07/07/2023 19:31

No contest. Go home

justasking111 · 07/07/2023 19:31

I hate works do so I'd go home

Incognito2023 · 07/07/2023 19:32

Think it would be lovely to go home and tell him that you realised you would rather be with him. Sounds like he would appreciate that

Original poster
ilovelamp2 · 07/07/2023 19:32

Thanks - considering both options - daughter is also out tomorrow night and we have planned an evening out for then already but still ....

OP posts:
Parisj · 07/07/2023 19:33

He's probably settled down for an evening alone now, don't flip flop, go with your decision

drpet49 · 07/07/2023 19:36

Parisj · 07/07/2023 19:33

He's probably settled down for an evening alone now, don't flip flop, go with your decision

This. Even if you went home now it doesn’t change the fact you sacked him off in the first place.

Original poster
ilovelamp2 · 07/07/2023 19:36

I was thinking that .... if it was me I would be disappointed but then order food and claim the remote. But then I literally have no time to myself. It's also someone's leaving do - a close colleague so not just a random night as such. Still got that sicky feeling. Husband said he's not cross at all, just wishes I hadn't said I wasn't going and then was - which is fair.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 07/07/2023 19:38

Maybe make up your mind and stick to it in future instead of messing about and disappointing him

CurlewKate · 07/07/2023 19:58

If you want to be out then be out! Wine and burgers will keep. Prioritise yourself.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 07/07/2023 20:00

DH has done this to me in the past and it meant the world when he came home early to spend some time with me. But, we hadn't spent much time together before that. Have you spent time with DH recently?

sHREDDIES19 · 07/07/2023 20:18

It’s one night. He’ll live. Plus you’ve got tomorrow night?!

M4J4 · 07/07/2023 20:19

I hate most work dos (I’m teetotal) but it sounds like you would enjoy this one, so you should go.

DH will be fine, there will be a time when he needs to cry off as well.

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/07/2023 20:22

He sounds nice. Have a lovely evening with him tomorrow.

And if you don't want to b where you are, rather than just feeling guilty, go home. If you do want to stay, stay. And stop feeling guilty.

ANiceBigCupOfTea · 07/07/2023 20:26

If you really can't be arsed, then go home and have a nice evening with your DH. I get on great with my work colleagues and if I go out with them, I really do like one or two then I'm quite contented to go home.
If you're having a great time, stay out and spend time with him tomorrow or Sunday.

Aquamarine1029 · 07/07/2023 20:26

Why would you go out with colleagues in the first place? Fucking hell, we spend enough of our precious time with these people as it is. Spending time with my husband and kids is always my first choice. I'll see my colleagues when I get paid to do so.

Onelifeonly · 07/07/2023 20:27

Do what feels right to you. You'll have plenty of other nights with hubby, but if you'd rather be with him, then go for it. There again, work dos can be unexpectedly fun and aren't as common as nights at home.....

Perscriptionzzzzz · 07/07/2023 20:39

Stay out and have fun

lastminutewednesday · 07/07/2023 20:40

Stay out til half ten then go home and wake him up for a nice semi drunk bunk up. Best of all worlds for you both Grin

drpet49 · 07/07/2023 20:49

Aquamarine1029 · 07/07/2023 20:26

Why would you go out with colleagues in the first place? Fucking hell, we spend enough of our precious time with these people as it is. Spending time with my husband and kids is always my first choice. I'll see my colleagues when I get paid to do so.

Er you do realise that some people, yes some people actually like their colleagues???? 🙄🙄🙄

Aquamarine1029 · 07/07/2023 20:52

drpet49 · 07/07/2023 20:49

Er you do realise that some people, yes some people actually like their colleagues???? 🙄🙄🙄

Show quote history

Er, 🙄, I never said I didn't like my colleagues. I do like them.

Swipe left for the next trending thread