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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stood my husband up to go out with friends ....

35 replies

ilovelamp2 · 07/07/2023 19:25

So there's been a work night out planned tonight for weeks and until the last few days I've been really looking forward to it It's been a tough week at work and mid week I was thinking I would cry off as just had enough. Today was better and everyone was chatting about tonight so I changed my mind .... Feeling shit now as husband had bought wine, burgers for but has driven me into town instead.. Daughter is at her friends, last minute plan, so we could have had the night to ourselves. Tempted to get on first train and come home. To be clear, husband is not cross or grumpy or anything but I can tell he's disappointed and I'm still not entirely sure I can be arsed with everyone. Should I stay or should I go?!

OP posts:
Mapples · 07/07/2023 20:52

Aquamarine1029 · 07/07/2023 20:26

Why would you go out with colleagues in the first place? Fucking hell, we spend enough of our precious time with these people as it is. Spending time with my husband and kids is always my first choice. I'll see my colleagues when I get paid to do so.

Some people like their colleagues...

OP I'd stay out now if you have tomorrow night together, that was thoughtful of him to have planned for a night in but he's probably enjoying some time to himself with an empty house now!

Sometimeswinning · 07/07/2023 20:58

Aquamarine1029 · 07/07/2023 20:26

Why would you go out with colleagues in the first place? Fucking hell, we spend enough of our precious time with these people as it is. Spending time with my husband and kids is always my first choice. I'll see my colleagues when I get paid to do so.

Most of my colleagues are my best friends. Dh is also one but we make time all week as a family. He'd tell me to go so he could have the remote! Sorry you've not had the same work experience I guess!

Original poster
ilovelamp2 · 07/07/2023 21:15

Thanks everyone - I'm still out and having a lovely time. So lucky that my colleagues are my friends. Have also booked our fave restaurant for tomorrow. Love the wake up call idea too! Hope you are all having a lovely evening too.

OP posts:
Xmasbaby11 · 07/07/2023 21:18

My colleagues are my friends too and I wouldn’t flake on them. I love seeing them and it’s not that often. I see my DH at home all the time!

TallTrees78 · 07/07/2023 21:27

I love spending time with my husband but I do that most nights so I'd enjoy a night out with my colleagues as I like them too.

SayHi · 07/07/2023 22:01

I think it was a bit crap of you to plan a night with your DH and then ditch him last minute.
I’d feel a bit used and like a back up plan if I was him.

But you’re out now so enjoy yourself and stop feeling guilty.

It would be nice to plan an evening for just you and DH to make it up to him.

CrazyArmadilloLady · 07/07/2023 22:06

Aquamarine1029 · 07/07/2023 20:52

Er, 🙄, I never said I didn't like my colleagues. I do like them.

Show quote history

So - isn’t it then obvious that some people consider colleagues friends and therefore enjoy spending time with them?

Some people actually enjoy socialising outside just their husband and kids. It’s actually really normal (outside MN).

CrazyArmadilloLady · 07/07/2023 22:07

ilovelamp2 · 07/07/2023 21:15

Thanks everyone - I'm still out and having a lovely time. So lucky that my colleagues are my friends. Have also booked our fave restaurant for tomorrow. Love the wake up call idea too! Hope you are all having a lovely evening too.

Perfect outcome!

bladebladebla1 · 08/07/2023 07:00

Aquamarine1029 · 07/07/2023 20:26

Why would you go out with colleagues in the first place? Fucking hell, we spend enough of our precious time with these people as it is. Spending time with my husband and kids is always my first choice. I'll see my colleagues when I get paid to do so.

Some of us make friends with our colleagues you know

Doingmybest12 · 08/07/2023 07:14

Hope you had a good evening, I think a close friend/colleague should have a good send off and it would've been a poor show to mess those plans about. Not sure why you felt sicky about being out and pleased husband wasn't 'angry'. He'd bought a few burgers and you are going out tonight.

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