to ask what's rudest/most bizarre wedding behaviour you've known of?

[PinkStarAtNight]

Lighthearted thread, inspired by the mention of wedding politics on another thread...just interested to know if anyone out there has experienced/known of any weddings/wedding related behaviour more bizarre/rude than the one I know of. Wedding guest behaviour, bride/groom behaviour and weddings that were just bizarre in general all welcome...

So, I'll start:
Couple getting married were on a very low budget (so much so that their centrepiece wedding cake was actually just cardboard with icing and decorations over it) but they still wanted a 'nice/fancy' wedding with sit down meal and servers...so they hired a town hall for an 'afternoon tea' luncheon type thing just after the wedding, with only close friends and family invited. They then asked other, less close, friends to 'have the privilege' of serving them at this 'high tea' event, free of charge, as a favour, instead of an invite to the wedding (not even the evening party that came later).
It was actually phrased as 'would you like to have the privilege of serving us at our wedding?' and people who were asked were very much expected to see it as an honour. Apparently it's somewhat of the 'done thing' in their circle.

These friends/servers were given waiter/waitress uniforms to wear. Just another reminder- they were NOT being paid. One of the people asked to do it was a friend of mine. She actually thought she was quite close to the family, had known them years and been round for dinner and things like that, but realised they obviously didn't see her that way when instead of a proper invite to the wedding she was asked to do this.

She said that she accidentally split tea whilst pouring it out for someone at this 'luncheon' (I mean its not like she was a professional server!) and the bride's father snapped at her. Everyone at the table treated her exactly like a professional server, not making wye contact, not even thanking her, barking orders at her etc, even though she had known all of them for years and spent time at their house for gatherings...all the servers were 'thanked' a few weeks after the wedding with a box of basic Cadbury chocolates, the type that cost about £5 from Tesco. These boxes of chocolates were elaborately wrapped up and sent with thank you cards. Once opening the box, my friend realised they were all white...looked at the sell by date and they were years out!! 😂

Now, it wasn't really anything to me because I wasn't close to couple (knew them, had mutual friends but never expected to be invited in any capacity) so didn't affect me at all, but I think the whole thing was completely bizarre and such rude and entitled behaviour towards people who were supposed to be their friends. Apparently being asked to dress up in a waitor outfit and take orders/serve people is an immense honour. I didn't, and still don't, have words 😂

Anyone else got anything to top this?

Oh God, I have to add mine here. It’s too good to waste. Bride & mother never really got on, mother was always trying to upstage Bride. Invited to the reception party afterwards at Bride’s house but left around 9pm. Was told, a week later by Bride that her mother & the best man got stupidly drunk and snuck upstairs to have sex - Bride walked in on them in her spare room!! A fight ensued once others found out, including most of the male guests and the groom. Police were called.

I wish I’d stayed

I went to a wedding recently where the bride's divorcée mother invited her best friend (both women in their fifties) and hardly glanced at her daughter. I was at the same table as them - they spent the entire meal on Tinder - sniggering at each other's matches and texting replies to them.

It was bizarre! I actually thought I was at the wrong church! Everyone was commenting on her- don't know why her family didn't tell her that it wasn't a good idea....

DD was invited to a wedding of someone she had know since birth. The bride, (we will call her Natasha as that is her name ) allowed her father to put DD along with other "guests" into the kitchen and so they had to serve other guests. She worked 12 hours that day. along with other people who were so sweet and unexpectedly roped in that none of them said a word. I think they were too humiliated. Boiling hot day, rushing around serving food, taking away plates etc etc. I was BEYOND fuming when I found out what she had been roped into

Her favourite thing in a wedding is the speeches (for some unknown reason 😂) and was looking forward to them. Then a message came through from bride, or her dad, that "staff should stay in the kitchen throughout the speeches"!! I think by this stage the "guests"/servants were past being fuming and were just making jokes about the whole thing. And the bride's reputation has never really recovered. Bride and her dad were just trying to look good in front of grooms family, that they had money and pretended that they had hired all the staff

Best thing was, the bride's dad said he would "see them all right" after it for their help. Lol. They all got a box of 4 Lindt chocolates from Poundland from him. And to add insult to injury DD said "and they had all melted mum"

Was it your wedding?

One we went to years ago.
Father of the bride speech fundamentally suggested his daughter was desperate to marry this man who had previously been divorced. He had told her he was only paying for one wedding......very awkward.
He was not wrong. Within 18 months he had left her with a baby.

My DIL was invited to one of these wedding service/night do things. It was in a town she didn't know so had to spend a good few hours wandering around alone (in the rain) waiting for the night festivities to begin. That's the first time I had heard of this, I didn't realise it was a "thing".
Seems very bizarre to me!!
My ideal wedding was my own (3rd marriage for both of us) booked register office, took 2 friends to witness, had lunch at a pub then told everyone else after. Brilliant and stress free!!

A couple of our guests decided to 'get it on' in the ladies loos.

I'm not a prude, but the woman's husband was on the dancefloor at the time.

One of the bridesmaids (adult thankfully) walked in on them and then pretty much announced it to the room, somehow the husband remained oblivious to the whole thing.

To this day (decades later) it's the only thing that people ever seem to remember about our wedding.

DH told me about his best friend (who is a a bit of a complete fuckwit tosser) at his DD's wedding giving the FOB speech where he guestimated how much he had spent on his DD over the years with ponies, and skiing, and private school and so forth then turned to his new SIL and said; 'Good luck to you if you can afford her'.

DH thought it was a funny and witty speech. {hmm]. I have been very vocal about how crass and grotesque and humiliating I considered it to be. I was not at the wedding, slightly before my time. Apparently everyone laughed heartily.

daisychain01 · Today 04:43

You are probably right OP, it was bazaar behaviour, but your post sounds sneery and unkind to a couple who clearly were struggling with money and wanted to have a nice wedding so tried to make it unique but didn't have good social skills to realise how they came across. I'd say that was sad. They were disadvantaged, but as you say you hardly knew them and it didn't affect you so you've started a Jeremy-Kyle type thread to take the piss.

Not a good look.

Are you insane? If you can’t afford a high end wedding, don’t have one! You don’t invite friends to serve you! You cater to your budget! They deserve to be ridiculed as this is not acceptable behaviour, how do you know they were disadvantaged? It’s imperative that these people learn this is not the way to treat people.

My (ex) FIL did the same thing. My Dad had been so excited to do his FOB speech and then FIL stands up and basically told exH"s life story. It went on so long people just started getting up and wandering away. Will never forget it though. Pompous arse! My Dad just looked really hurt and I was squeezing his hand under the table.

Groom’s friends didn’t like bride. One turned up in a silvery meringue dress and fucked up
all the photos by looking like a ghostly second bride. I’ve always been sort of appalled-yet-impressed by the savagery.

SIL announcing her second pregnancy at our wedding dinner. The self centred bitch had to be the centre of attention somehow on our wedding day.

MIL then made a comment to SIL about noticing SIL's was looking a bit thicker ot late

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Sorry but how was the bride thoughtless and selfish? Wouldn't Mil have been with family? What special consideration should the bride have afforded her?

Wedding in the middle of nowhere on new year's eve so you can imagine how much the accomodation was. All guests staying 10 miles from the venue. Bride and groom told us a bus was being laid on to take us back to the accomodation. It was, but as we borded the groom held his hand out and asked us for £5 each (it was in the 90s) to cover the cost.

A couple in our very close friend group announced they were getting married abroad. Big wedding, would cost us a lot and although we could afford it, others struggled and had to be on a tight budget to afford it.

Got to the country after a long flight, to meet the B+G and be told we're only invited to the evening do. Which started at 10pm, after cake cutting, first dance and obviously the ceremony we weren't invited to.

Possibly worse though was the wedding we went to of our friend. I'd known her years but when she met her partner she disappeared for a bit. Got the invite through the post and it didn't even have his real name on it (a nickname- Rusty) so we had no idea who he was! Turned up at the wedding- lovely manor house in the countryside, lots of money spent on floristry and decor. Her family were very well off and had paid for the lot.

Groom walked into the room they were getting married and he had a mullet, half his teeth missing and his suit was wrinkled. His family were awful, smoking inside and getting lairy when told not to, glaring at her family, yelling and swearing while we waited for the bride. She walked down the aisle in a gorgeous princess dress, her DF dressed in a fine suit etc. Got to the groom and he barely looked at her, chuckled through the vows and then punched the air when she said "I do". Her family were not impressed, his were and discussed how much money he'd be getting if they divorced. Thankfully he didn't get a penny when she filed a few months later! Such a weird match, I don't know what she was thinking. She's now engaged to a polo playing lawyer!

Best Man was booked in to provide a DJ set after the dinner, to get people up and dancing; he fancies himself as someone in the music industry and everyone was told about how great the set was going to be, not just the usual wedding tunes (Kool and the Gang etc). but something special and different.

He and his girlfriend had a blazing row outside the venue (both at fault - he's a narcissistic prick*, she's a hyper-sensitive drama queen) and she walked out, meaning that he missed his timeslot and the groom had to ineffectually improvise with...the usual wedding tunes. Everyone had a good time dancing to Kool and the Gang :)

*Girlfriend had drunkenly, collared me by the bar earlier to ask why Best Man was such a knob and I tried to say, politely, 'because...he just is?'

To be clear, at the wedding my friend attended there was no cake at all. No real tiers, no real slice, no sheet cake in the back...it was just a fully cardboard cake and no cake was cut or served to anyone at any point

Oh my god that is hilarious!

@pinkyredrose yes, her younger sister was there but travelled from a different direction. MIL would have liked her son and dil to have been invited as she stayed with us. For us to have accompanied her to the church and to the reception and to have provided moral support at the first function she had attended since her husband's funeral less than twelve months before. Particularly as we had been asked to save the date and then informed we weren't important enough to the bride to attend the reception. Infound it rude behaviour, even if you do not, especially as the bride had been invited to each of her cousin's weddings before her own. For her own, however, half the cousins were invited and half were told they were on the B list. She had no hesitation sending a gift list or letting us know when her children were born, presumably in anticipation of presents from people she didn't rate highly.

Ah I see, yes very rude and inconsiderate.

Fucking hell! 😱😂

@iminvestednow is 100% right, @daisychain01. If the bride and groom couldn’t afford a sit-down meal with paid wait-staff, then they should cut their coat to fit their cloth, and go for a less expensive option. You can have a lovely wedding without the expensive bits - I know, dh and I did - but asking your friends and family to be unpaid servants is pretty déclassé, and then letting your guests treat them so rudely is beyond the pale. Frankly even if they had been paying their wait staff, they should have insisted that their guests were polite to the staff, but letting them be so rude to people who were doing it as a favour is disgusting.

@temperedolive, I'm surprised there wasn't a real murder. My mother would have wrung my neck at the family lunch.