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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Help me work out if my nanny is doing a good job

58 replies

pleppapligg · 07/07/2023 19:05

She's my first nanny and it's her first nanny job. We have a an agreement on what her duties and responsibilities are.

She takes care of my kids and I feel they're safe with her. I'm just not sure if she's doing enough play time / creative stuff with them when she's at home.

They're 15 months and 3 and a half.

My kids have a lot of toys and I know it's annoying to keep them organised, but you have to do it if you want them to get the most out of the toys. I've bought some really cool wooden ones with animals and poles you need to stick into holes etc and my 15 month old loves playing with it.

Somehow at the end of the each day they're all messed up and I don't think the kids get the most of playing with their toys. Play dough also keeps drying up and I keep buying more. I'm trying to teach my kids to tidy up after playing and encourage the nanny to also teach them to do the same. But it doesn't look like she tries to care about it at all and half of the time, she says the kids can't play with stuff because it's a mess. Even though I tidy it all up and sort it every weekend. By Monday it's all a mess and can't be played with properly again.

She also never takes them out in the garden. My garden has everything - slide / swing / trampoline etc etc. it's an even level and perfectly safe. I have asked her to take them out, but she just doesn't do it on her own accord.

She mostly sits in the living room with them. My mum is visiting at the moment and has seen her on her phone playing games / texting. I've seen her use her phone quite a bit, but I've not told her she isn't allowed to. I don't mind occasionally. She has taken calls before while the 15 month old was crying and I did pull her up on it gently.

Anyway, my main issue is that I don't feel like she is doing much developmental / educational play stuff with them. There's also not much structure to the day. I am around, as I wfh ( she knew that before she took the role ). So I do see some of the time what's going on.

Also, the other day she got my 15 month old up from a nap and he had done a poo. Rather than changing him, she sat him in his high chair and gave him his lunch. She only changed him after. I think that's really gross. ( I only realised after it happened what had happened ).

It's her first nanny job but she has a lot of experience in child care.

OP posts:

Wanttoshavemyhairoff · 07/07/2023 19:07

Did you have a recent post up with same issues with nanny ? Sounds very familiar

LittleBearPad · 07/07/2023 19:07

She sounds a bit crap.

She should be helping to keep the children’s toys sorted and tidy. The nappy thing isn’t ok.

user1483387154 · 07/07/2023 19:10

Did you employ a qualified Nanny or just some random that likes kids and will look after them?
If a qualified Nanny then terminate employment immediately, we took years to train to look after children and not sit in a room on our phones

BiscuitsandPuffin · 07/07/2023 19:10

I wouldn't be happy with all of that. Especially the poo. Am amazed that she has childcare experience and left a baby in a poo nappy. That can cause nappy rash and besides, it's rank.

Ep1cfail · 07/07/2023 19:10

Is she actually an ofsted registered nanny? My SIL is a nanny. She's brilliant at her job but she's also expensive.

I wouldn't tolerate anyone leaving my kids in a dirty nappy.

Original poster

pleppapligg · 07/07/2023 19:19

user1483387154 · 07/07/2023 19:10

She's level 3 qualified in child care with a lot of practical experience in nurseries. First nanny job.

OP posts:

Blossomtoes · 07/07/2023 19:22

You’ve posted before, haven’t you? This is all very familiar.

Twattle · 07/07/2023 19:23

Play dough dries up. We make fresh batched every few days at nursery. Not sure what your expecting there.

Tonkerbea · 07/07/2023 19:24

Find a new nanny, your kids deserve better

gabsdot45 · 07/07/2023 19:25

I've never been or employed a nanny, but she sounds rubbish.
She should tidy and look after the kids toys herself at the least.

GalileoHumpkins · 07/07/2023 19:27

She sounds rubbish, leaving a dirty nappy on and sitting on her phone instead of engaging with them. If she's like that when you're at home I dread to think what she'd be like if you were out at work.

Iamacatslave · 07/07/2023 19:27

This all sounds very familiar….

cansu · 07/07/2023 19:31

Why don't you have a review meeting / catch up. Praise what you like and raise what you want her to do. If she still isn't doing what you want, move on. I think tidying up toys should be part of her role. She may well say that she does not have time to do this at the end of each day. Talk to her about what is possible and when she could do this and then see if she sticks to this. Going out in the garden to play should also be happening.

Hollyppp · 07/07/2023 19:32

Sounds rubbish. She should be out doing things with them - walks, parks etc. definitely in the garden. Just sitting down all day while they play with toys for hours is not okay! There should be activities eg painting. Also the nappy thing is not cool

Totalwasteofpaper · 07/07/2023 19:33

I would not be happy with this.
It sounds like you have too many toys and a mediocre nanny.

I would tell her exactly what you want - make a mock up timetabled week and say you expect her to create her own similar one each week (one week ahead)

my childminder is experienced and takes my DD to everything from playgrounds, parks, puppet shows, bubble magic, nanny playgroups with soft play. They do mud kitchen messy play dress up and she is out of the house most days.
Occasionally they do a quiet day and just potter about and play with toys, do some baking and chill in the garden.

Didimum · 07/07/2023 19:37

Nanny duties and expectations differ to nursery staff, however the things you mention - organising toys and activities, outdoor time and prompt nappy changes - aren’t those things. I would expect someone who worked in a nursery to be excellent at those things. Our nanny does all the things above daily without fail. I understand a nursery worker may need some time to build up nanny skills (caretaking the household and anticipating needs), but I can’t see why a nursery worker doesn’t have the skills and foresight to handle the issues you’ve listed.

NuffSaidSam · 07/07/2023 19:37

What's happened here is she's struggling to adapt to being a nanny. In a nursery stuff is planned out at team level, there are supervisors/managers/senior staff members to oversee stuff, there are cleaners and usually a cook. When you're a nanny you have to do it all, by yourself. Some nursery staff just can't make the jump. Some just need a bit of time, how long has she been with you?

It's not acceptable though. I'd have a big talk with her, give her a chance to pull her socks up and if that doesn't happen get a new nanny.

LadyTemperance · 07/07/2023 19:39

YANBU all of the issues you list make her sound like a substandard nanny. In most employer/employee relationships I would recommend managing her, making her aware of expectations etc. Trouble is a nanny is left on her own all day with your children so you really need to be able to trust her. I would sack her and get a properly qualified and experienced person to properly care for your dc.

NuffSaidSam · 07/07/2023 19:39

Twattle · 07/07/2023 19:23

Play dough dries up. We make fresh batched every few days at nursery. Not sure what your expecting there.

I'd imagine she's expecting the nanny to put the playdoh back into its pot and put the lid on so that it doesn't dry up.

LadyTemperance · 07/07/2023 19:40

Play dough is the least of your worries, but whilst it may dry up regularly in a nursery, at home as long as you put it away, properly it lasts months.

Luxell934 · 07/07/2023 19:40

You posted this before. TALK TO YOUR NANNY.

Luxell934 · 07/07/2023 19:42

and what proof do you have that she KNEW they had done a poo after their nap??? and how did you know they didn't do it while having lunch???

CorvusPurpureus · 07/07/2023 19:45

The nappy is non negotiable - if you're in charge of a nappy wearing baby/toddler, you deal with a soiled nappy as a priority. With you up to that point.

Otherwise it seems all a bit insular - you want her to tidy the toys, you want her to use the garden, but no mention of trips outside of the house.

maddiemookins16mum · 07/07/2023 19:47

Ex Nanny here. Firstly, is she sole charge or are other adults always in the house too?

Original poster

pleppapligg · 07/07/2023 19:47

Luxell934 · 07/07/2023 19:42

and what proof do you have that she KNEW they had done a poo after their nap??? and how did you know they didn't do it while having lunch???

I was surprised, but basically it happens quite regularly that I notice he's done a poo and she says she didn't notice.

On this particular day, she came downstairs and I saw her put him straight into the chair and give him his lunch and a bit later, I asked her if he'd done a poo yet today or something along those lines and she said ' yeah this time I smelt it as soon as I picked him up from his nap.' We don't have nappy cleaning stuff upstairs at all and I also didn't see her carrying a nappy when she went upstairs. She just popped in his room and came straight back.

So I am 90 percent certain she didn't change him, but fed him first and changed him after. I don't think she left him in a dirty nappy for long, but still didn't think it was great.

There's a small chance it was a misunderstanding, but I think unfortunately it wasn't.

OP posts:

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