Help me work out if my nanny is doing a good job

[pleppapligg]

She's my first nanny and it's her first nanny job. We have a an agreement on what her duties and responsibilities are.

She takes care of my kids and I feel they're safe with her. I'm just not sure if she's doing enough play time / creative stuff with them when she's at home.

They're 15 months and 3 and a half.

My kids have a lot of toys and I know it's annoying to keep them organised, but you have to do it if you want them to get the most out of the toys. I've bought some really cool wooden ones with animals and poles you need to stick into holes etc and my 15 month old loves playing with it.

Somehow at the end of the each day they're all messed up and I don't think the kids get the most of playing with their toys. Play dough also keeps drying up and I keep buying more. I'm trying to teach my kids to tidy up after playing and encourage the nanny to also teach them to do the same. But it doesn't look like she tries to care about it at all and half of the time, she says the kids can't play with stuff because it's a mess. Even though I tidy it all up and sort it every weekend. By Monday it's all a mess and can't be played with properly again.

She also never takes them out in the garden. My garden has everything - slide / swing / trampoline etc etc. it's an even level and perfectly safe. I have asked her to take them out, but she just doesn't do it on her own accord.

She mostly sits in the living room with them. My mum is visiting at the moment and has seen her on her phone playing games / texting. I've seen her use her phone quite a bit, but I've not told her she isn't allowed to. I don't mind occasionally. She has taken calls before while the 15 month old was crying and I did pull her up on it gently.

Anyway, my main issue is that I don't feel like she is doing much developmental / educational play stuff with them. There's also not much structure to the day. I am around, as I wfh ( she knew that before she took the role ). So I do see some of the time what's going on.

Also, the other day she got my 15 month old up from a nap and he had done a poo. Rather than changing him, she sat him in his high chair and gave him his lunch. She only changed him after. I think that's really gross. ( I only realised after it happened what had happened ).

It's her first nanny job but she has a lot of experience in child care.

Get rid. She shouldn't be sat on her phone all the time & sounds rubbish generally

She takes them out as and when, to the park and a couple of toddler groups. I don't have complaints about that at all. I guess we need more structure.

Yeh it’s defo the one that posted the other day imo. To be fair though it did get massively derailed by masses of idiots calling her unreasonable because she mentioned that she expected the nanny to do the children’s laundry and meals etc (normal nanny tasks 🤷🏼‍♀️) so I can see why she’d post again and leave that out

I wouldn’t tolerate a teenage babysitter leaving a dirty nappy over a meal, much less an apparently qualified nanny. It’s horrible for the child and everyone else in the vicinity.

A bit of playing on her phone etc I’d regard as pretty normal (I’m a SAHM, sometimes I did full on educational play, sometimes I stuck them in front of the tv for twenty minutes) but she should be engaged most of the time and taking them outside. Both the garden and also other outings, groups, classes etc. And I’d definitely expect toys to be left tidy/as she found them - it’s not exactly a great message for your kids is it, “we’ll just leave this mess for Mummy to sort out”?!

She honestly sounds pretty mediocre at best.

Oh yeh, I remember this bit too. She takes them to the park/farm/playgroup a couple of times a week and people were saying that’s loads so she’s fine, but the vast majority of every single day she sits them in the living room with the doors closed and telly on and plays with her phone. None of this is ok, you need a new nanny

On your last thread she was a full qualified nanny with experience and now she has no nanny experience.

She sounds a bit mediocre/crap. Are you paying the going rate for a Nanny in your area? You mostly get what you pay for.

I had a holiday job years ago looking after twins [18 months old] no mobiles then, and I took them everywhere and kept them interested in their surroundings- one really can't sit and look at a phone when looking after children.

Sounds like this woman is a 'Babysitter' rather than a 'Nanny'

Forget educational play, she's barely doing the basics. And those poor kids must be so bored.

New nanny needed.

In the meantime, a few rules. Dirty nappies changed immediately, and always check before mealtimes and leaving the house.

An outing a day. Park, playgroups, walk to shops etc. Fresh air and garden play daily, whatever the weather, but dressed appropriately for the weather.

A few activities are set up for the children daily. Teach them how to play and tidy. Eg. Train track set up and then all playing together developing language etc. Then tidy up together ready for meal/outdoors etc. obviously their attention won't stick, but aim for a bit of concentration. End of the day tidy up, perhaps with a song.

And If she's not making her own play dough, what sort of nanny is she?!

You're not getting a rise out of me with that comment. I know that's what you want.

It sounds like you don't trust her, so it won't work out.

Looking at her phone really isn't great. But does she get a proper break to allow her to do those things? I'm guessing tho older one doesn't nap?

It sounds like you need to sit down with her and have a non-judgemental chat about what you want and if she's happy to agree to that. My nanny takes my boys out to a planned activity each morning. They walk each way so it's nap time when they get back. I give her a free reign in the afternoon - they go in the garden or to the playground if the weather is nice, I otherwise yes they do potter about the playroom.

As far as tidying goes.... It depends on your kids! Some make more mayhem than others.... when our nanny started i said it would be nice to come back to roughly the same tidiness as when I left. So the playroom isn't amazing as it usually doesn't start that way! But it's pretty good.

Playdough drying out happens quickly at this time of year. Wrap it in slightly damp kitchen roll in its lot over night with the lid on and it's usually fine by morning. Drop of veg oil once a year. We've had ours for 7 years over 3 kids....

Complicated wooden toys will get messy. That might mean the nanny doesn't want to play with them. That's not a hill I would die on, personally. Our nanny doesn't do exactly what I would do with my boys each day - she does more messy play than I would and less reading. Whether you are ok with that depends on how many days she has them/how long the days are. Ours does 2 days so it doesn't bother me at all.

You’re likely paying under market rate and are now realising the difference in quality between someone used to a nursery setting with a manager and other people vs having sole responsibility as a nanny. Big difference.

I'm not paying under market rate

I spent 14 years as a nanny. General tasks included tidying away /organising toys, keeping kids areas clean and tidy, kids laundry, and prepping kids meals. Thought you should really have discussed expectations before she started, but maybe arrange an informal review to go over the role again. Keep it light and say what you are pleased with as well.

the nappy thing is bad, as long as you’re certain he didn’t poop whilst having lunch. I wouldn’t interrupt lunch to change him (unless a poonami!), but I would certainly have changed him before starting lunch if he’d already done it.

And being on her phone lots isn’t okay. Maybe say there’s 30 mins or so downtime whilst baby is napping and the older child is having quiet time where they can use their phone, but besides that it’s only for emergencies.

Anyway, my main issue is that I don't feel like she is doing much developmental / educational play stuff with them. There's also not much structure to the day.

You’ve got your priorities messed up.
This should be the last issue that you have with her.

She doesn’t sound the best nanny but you don’t sound the best either tbh if you think educational play is more important than all of the other things you’ve listed.

If you’re not comfortable with her then get a new nanny.

What makes you think she doesn’t want to be a mother?
Have you got an issue with mothers who also have jobs to earn to money?

Ok, so you’re paying market rate for someone whose first job it is as a nanny?

If you’re a professional woman who needs a nanny you can surely have an adult to adult (employer to employee) conversation about your expectations. If that is not met then you need to find another.

The rest is just hand-wringing and I’m wondering why you haven’t addressed these points at the the time - as you would at any workplace. This isn’t someone being annoying about a spreadsheet, it’s your children.

Get on it and just give her the feedback. You need to woman up.

Nurseries have a high teacher to student ratio (1:13, which in practice usually means 1:26 because the assistant teacher may be there to focus on 1 or 2 kids with higher needs). Looking after 13 to 26 children well is a different skillset to looking after 1. You can be great at the latter but not the former, and vice versa.

Why are you ignoring all the comments asking why you’ve posted again? You got plenty of good advice last time.

No i would not be happy with this at all BUT i would talk to her first have a meeting, at the end of the day you are her manager, her Boss and so you need to have a talk with her about what changes you expect, be very honest and if she still fails to do at least a good job then you need to let her go.

ALSO id be giving a time only thing for phones like no using phones unless in an emergency. She wouldnt be able to be on her phone at most other jobs so this is no different.

@Thoughtful2355 most jobs outside of min wage don't limit or time phone use, they just trust that their employees have enough discretion to know when occasional phone use is OK and when it's not

She's new to the role, so she needs some training/managing.

Sit down with her and have a review.

Tell her what you are happy about, and also give her some targets.
That could be:

• ensuring play dough and toys are all put away correctly
• plan and carry out a couple of developmentally appropriate activities every week
• taking them out to play in the garden every day when it isn't raining

Have a follow up meeting in 6 weeks or so to see if she's been able to meet them.

Changing nappies promptly as soon as they're soiled and not using her phone during work time (or keeping phone use to half an hour during lunch time) are basics but you should tell her your expectations and give her a chance to improve.

Op it would be a total No from me that she sits on her phone .

And not taking them into the garden but letting them sit around indoors ???

Op raise your standards they would be better of at nursery or with a child minder with other kids and adults paying proper attention