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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not be comfortable with this

41 replies

erral · 07/07/2023 18:43

I work in a residential home. A resident has a husband who comes to visit her once a week. It was unofficially revealed that her husband had been to prison years ago. He went to prison on 2 separate occasions because boys (now men) had come forward with information about inappropriate behaviour towards them from him. He committed the 2nd offence after being in prison for the first offence so didn't learn his lesson. The husband is not allowed to visit the home when the local nursery visits. He does spend time on the top floor of the building unaccompanied (other than his wife who has dementia) where 3 other residents are alone in their own rooms. My worry is what else he might be capable of, are those residents in danger?Also it was mentioned that he might go on a trip with the residents (and a couple of staff) he has even offered to drive the mini bus. This situation doesn't sit well with me. I think people forget about what he has done or maybe don't know the full story. I googled him and it's all there. AIBU to feel so negative about him being in the residential home?

OP posts:
AlisonDonut · 07/07/2023 18:46

Is be bringing it up as a safeguarding issue and get them to redo the risk assessments for his visits.

toochesterdraws · 07/07/2023 18:47

Perhaps raise this with your manager. They should have safeguarding procedures to follow, so let them decide.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 07/07/2023 18:47

Would he not need a DBS check to work or volunteer with vulnerable adults?

MostlyBlueberryFlavoured · 07/07/2023 18:50

MolkosTeenageAngst · 07/07/2023 18:47

Would he not need a DBS check to work or volunteer with vulnerable adults?

Most definitely.

erral · 27/07/2023 15:27

He has recently been put on the sex offenders register because more abuse victims have come forward. Is he even allowed in the building anymore?

OP posts:
FoodFann · 27/07/2023 15:29

You need to bring this up with the manager immediately. He obviously shouldn’t have access to anyone. He’s a sex offender

gettingoldisshit · 27/07/2023 15:32

When I worked on a maternity ward one of the fathers was a convicted paedophile and I couldn't believe he was allowed to be on a ward full of vulnerable new mums and babies but he was! It used to disgust me seeing him there but there was absolutely nothing i could do!

Dombasle · 27/07/2023 15:37

Is this gossip/hearsay or do you actually have proof?

tattygrl · 27/07/2023 16:10

Report to manager, follow safeguarding procedure. There's literally no other advice we can give you, and it's the best advice you'll get.

erral · 27/07/2023 16:20

Dombasle · 27/07/2023 15:37

Is this gossip/hearsay or do you actually have proof?

It's 100% correct I have seen proof.

OP posts:
Azandme · 27/07/2023 16:26

Report to your DSL. The fact that he isn't allowed in the building when the nursery children are is a strong indicator that a risk assessment is already in place.

It also implies that he is considered a threat to children, not adults.

It really does sound like the management are already aware because risk management is in place to keep him away from children, but you should always refer if you have concerns.

Maddy70 · 27/07/2023 16:42

erral · 27/07/2023 15:27

He has recently been put on the sex offenders register because more abuse victims have come forward. Is he even allowed in the building anymore?

Yes. Of course he's allowed to visit his wife

So many people you will meet in your every day life are on the sex offenders register. You would be shocked.

He has a thing for "young men"
I doubt he is remotely interested in residential home patients. However I share your concern and I feel that a staff presence on that floor would be reassuring so get staff to walk around it when they can

As to driving the mini bus. He would need a DBs and a mini driving bus test

Boopeedoop · 27/07/2023 16:44

Safeguarding allllll the way.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 27/07/2023 16:48

I would think he should not be unsupervised in the home. Surely there's a risk of family members of other residents coming into contact with him, even if they've assessed him as not a risk to elderly residents? Is it only elderly residents? Other members of the public aren't going to be aware of him and the risk he poses, it's not inconceivable that a child visitor may go to the toilet unaccompanied or whatever.

MargosMangos · 27/07/2023 16:50

He should only be able to visit his wife under supervision @Maddy70 as far as I'm aware
He should not have access to vulnerable people whatever their age
You need to speak to your manager, I bet they know but it's a conversation they don't want to have

Maddy70 · 27/07/2023 16:53

MargosMangos · 27/07/2023 16:50

He should only be able to visit his wife under supervision @Maddy70 as far as I'm aware
He should not have access to vulnerable people whatever their age
You need to speak to your manager, I bet they know but it's a conversation they don't want to have

I doubt that. There will have been a risk assessment done. He isn't a risk to his wife that's why they don't allow him to visit when young children are there.

MargosMangos · 27/07/2023 16:57

Wrong @Maddy70 , they have a duty of care , he is a known predator

Americano75 · 27/07/2023 17:16

He shouldn't be near any vulnerable person.

Cyclebabble · 27/07/2023 17:33

Something here does not quite add up. No one is placed on a sex offenders' register when allegations are made, only when convicted. If a risk assessment is being undertaken then this is the right way to deal with it. I have seen accusations of this type grow arms and legs very quickly with absolutely no foundation at all.

OhComeOnFFS · 27/07/2023 17:38

gettingoldisshit · 27/07/2023 15:32

When I worked on a maternity ward one of the fathers was a convicted paedophile and I couldn't believe he was allowed to be on a ward full of vulnerable new mums and babies but he was! It used to disgust me seeing him there but there was absolutely nothing i could do!

You'd think that poor woman would be put in a room on her own and have someone to talk to about what she should do.

HundredMilesAnHour · 27/07/2023 17:38

As to driving the mini bus. He would need a DBs and a mini driving bus test

Most people with a full UK driving licence are covered to drive a minibus without the need for anything further (unless they're being paid to drive it).

continentallentil · 27/07/2023 17:39

Maddy70 · 27/07/2023 16:42

Yes. Of course he's allowed to visit his wife

So many people you will meet in your every day life are on the sex offenders register. You would be shocked.

He has a thing for "young men"
I doubt he is remotely interested in residential home patients. However I share your concern and I feel that a staff presence on that floor would be reassuring so get staff to walk around it when they can

As to driving the mini bus. He would need a DBs and a mini driving bus test

You have no idea who else he may or may not have a thing for. What is known is that he is a predictor and so shouldn’t be around vulnerable people. So when he visits his wife he should be supervised except when in her room. He certainly shouldn’t be involved in trips or with the residents in any way.

It’s a safeguarding issue OP so raise it with the home manager and make sure procedures are put in place.

continentallentil · 27/07/2023 17:40

PREDATOR not predictor

DinoSaw · 27/07/2023 17:57

HundredMilesAnHour · 27/07/2023 17:38

As to driving the mini bus. He would need a DBs and a mini driving bus test

Most people with a full UK driving licence are covered to drive a minibus without the need for anything further (unless they're being paid to drive it).

Only those who got their license before 1997.

ForeverFriendsAndPierrot · 27/07/2023 18:12

erral · 27/07/2023 15:27

He has recently been put on the sex offenders register because more abuse victims have come forward. Is he even allowed in the building anymore?

So has he been arrested for the new allegations? Gone to court? Recalled to prison?

How do you know about new allegations?