What do you call a man who.....

[userzH]

Falls out with his wife for no reason other than he is stressed and tired.

Doesn't speak or see her for 3 days. Goes to his mums.

Speaks to her when he's ready too. She cries because of how she's been treated. He ends things. He posts his keys to the house through the door.

The next day he says he wants to try again but his wife is still stuck feeling well and truly confused about everything. He doesn't apologise. She's not exactly jumping for joy and her wall is up. He senses this and gets offended.

He says cannot listen to anymore of her tears. This makes her angry. The tears are caused by him.

He ends things again.

She is me.

"Women are not rehab centres for men".

It's not on you to fix him, or be his punching bag. Let him leave, it'll be the best thing he's ever done for you.

Somebody that I used to know.

What I don't understand is why I have found it so hard to end it. Because I feel better when I am not around him. We don't actually live together and haven't done properly since I left him the first time. I have my own home now which is just mine all in my name. He used to come and stay but the house is mine. So no worries in where to go. Finically I am ok. No worries there.

So why do I find it so hard to end it. I want it to be over yet I find myself going back each time.

I can't stand the thought of him with someone else even though I don't want him myself.

If I could understand this part, I'd probably deal with things so much better

It doesn't matter what we call him.

What matters is are you done with him this time, or do you want another few rounds of cruel and unusual punishment brit you throw in the towel?

Before*

I am done. I am much more stable this time believe it or not.

Therapy, self esteem, boundaries, anxiety and positive thinking courses have actually worked wonders - it might not show.

But the old me would of said yes this morning when he wanted to try again. I wouldn't of given it a second thought. I would of just been pleased that the torture was over. Not even a second thought at what he did or how he treated me wound cross my mind.

I'm not that person anymore.

@userzH may I suggest that you do the freedom programme it will help you work out some of the answers to your questions and help you stay free from him so you can recover from his abuse

Yes I'm on the waiting list to do it with the woman's charity I work with. It has a long waiting list - sadly. I'd rather do it in person with other women than on a screen. Thank you x

Ah sorry cross posted with your latest response @userzH I'm glad that you're speaking to someone

BPD

An absolute bellend.

An ex of mine used to pull this kind of crap and I'd be so emotional and pining after him even though he's literally not speak to me for days at a time. I can laugh looking back as I know I would never let that happen again as I'm worth more. And so are you, don't put up with this childish bollocks.

An arsehole - as simple as that. You are his convenient emotional punching bag. You deserve much better than that.

A narcissist will throw you breadcrumbs of love and leave you on tender hooks. The chemical reaction you get from those little bread crumbs of love is similar to gambling. It becomes addictive because you’re always throwing your heart out there hoping for a little bit more breadcrumbs to be thrown back at you each time to give you that endorphin hit.
Eventually just like gambling it wreaks havoc on your brain.
you need to get rid of your addiction to his breadcrumbs.
I hope this makes sense x

Mummy's Boy

@Mumtothreegirlies funny you should say that because he is also a gambling addict.

Thank you. That all makes sense. I do feel a shift this time so i hope this is the end.

The problem is I do feel sorry for him. But feeling sorry for him does not mean I have to go back and I know that. I feel guilty for the fact he has absolutely nothing

I wouldn’t call him ever again.

Hit the road, Twat, and don’t you come back etc.

Not worth it.

Please, please, from experience, break this off.

Get him out of your life for good, he's not a life long project for you to fix. Hope him and mummy will be very happy together.

This. Take the opportunity when he's out to gather what you need and get out of there, and for god's sake switch off his ability to track your location. That is so unnecessary. He's a shithead and you deserve better than having to live with that utter nonsense.

Unstable and waving many red flags 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

I think when you've been with someone and it's become unhealthy and unhappy, it eats away at your self worth and it's harder to imagine finding someone who is genuinely good for you so you start thinking it's something or nothing and sometimes nothing can be too lonely and scary to dare try living with

It's peaceful though. Less tears. Less stress. And it's possible once you're okay with it to find someone

Separated and pending divorce.

I couldnt atay married to him. Reread what you have written... its awful and no life at all. Leave now and be happy

I'd call him abusive and an Ex!, seriously you need to get rid of him, it's a form of manipulation and control.

This

Morning. I've woke up after barely sleeping. Not heard anything from here but he's been here to swap vehicles.

Today is day 1. Thank goodness he gave me his house keys back.

I feel a bit numb, really used to it all by now though.

Life is going to be so much calmer

You can do that this! My ex husband behaved in a similar way. Every 6 weeks he would disappear and go to his mums. I had three kids at the time as well.

Block and move on