To think I probably won't hear from this first date again...

[janeseymour78]

We've been messaging for a month because of our holidays and nor being able to meet until now. Really hit it off.

The date lasted just under 3 hours. I felt some chemistry and there were a few moments of prolonged eye contact and when our legs touched under the table he didn't move. But he didn't try to kiss me/gave me a big hug at the end and said 'ill see you soon' with no mention of another date. We had a lot in common and a good laugh.

I don't know. Previous dates that went somewhere the guy always said he wanted to meet again soon on the first date ans they usually try to kiss me. What do you reckon?

tbh it sounds like he’s bread crumbing you
but it could be that he just has other things going on in his life which are distracting him. I’ve had to cut off a few men who do that kind of thing, ask for number them don’t really bother messaging or do it sporadically with no sign of a date on the horizon

Yeah it is frustrating. I think as others have said too he’s trying to keep his options open and effectively keeping you hanging which sucks. So he’s probably slightly interested but not that keen if that makes sense?

And yep, agreed - rejection doesn’t feel good at all and it’s partly why I dislike first dates! Even if I’m not super keen on the guy I’ll sit and ponder over why he rejected me lol

@Sunsetandsunrise it hurts. I think it's basic respect to respond in a timely way and to be clear if you don't want to take things further.

Maybe aged 20 I'd let some guy keep me hanging but I'm 31 now. Every chance he'll be in touch again tomorrow or something but the enthusiasm I felt is fading fast. It's a tough age to be single too.

I’m in my 30s and I agree you get less patience for this kind of nonsense as you mature /grow older. It really is a passion killer.

Hopefully he will do better but tbh I predict he’ll keep up with this pattern of sporadic communication until you call it a day unfortunately.

It’s not easy at all!

If a man likes and wants you, he lets you know.

Do shy men not exist in your world?

@Sunsetandsunrise that's it! I feel wiser now but it still hurts just as much unfortunately. At least my boundaries are getting better.

If I haven't heard by tomorrow I'll drop him a message. I've no issues with doing this having contacted 2 ghosters before - they always reply!

Funnily enough, a bloke I met last week through a friend contacted me tonight. Maybe the universe is helping me out 😂

Yeah they do always reply when you cut it off and it’s too little too late. If he replies…Stay strong 😂

that Sounds promising …hope this other guy turns out to be decent but it’s good you have healthy boundaries so if he messes you about you’ll be able to identify it and move on sharpish!

the way I think of it is each unsuitable guy you get rid of takes you closer to Mr Right so the quicker you weed the time wasters out the better

I read a saying somewhere that’s always stuck with me it goes something along the lines of “ when a man likes you, you’ll know - you won’t be confused”

Every time I’ve been confused and I’ve given a guy more time, he turned out to be lukewarm/inconsistent etc and I wish I’d just nipped it in the bud early.

There are of course exceptions to this general rule but in my experience it’s been true.

@Sunsetandsunrise so I messaged this morning telling him I need more communication from a guy and this wasn't working for me, wished him all the best.

He contacts me with this big apology for taking a few days to respond - I knew his family was visiting this week but I think you can take a minute to text. He then tells me he's just had an offer accepted on a flat today (I also own my own home and on the date he said he was searching) and was occupied with that.

He then said I really do want to see you again if you're keen to meet up? I did want to go on the second date but I don't put up with tepid behaviour tbh. Looking forward to a night with good friends later 🙂