Before I met my boyfriend, I had plans to emigrate in 2024 but wanted to take this year to save and build up experience in my current job. One of the first things I told my boyfriend when we first met was my plans to travel and emigrate, and he said that he had no intentions to travel or emigrate. We weren’t serious and had no intentions of becoming an official couple so this wasn’t a big deal!
However, feelings grew and we eventually became an official couple… One of our first conversations as a couple was what would happen when I emigrate, and we mutually agreed that we would break up (he was first to suggest this) but would enjoy our time together now. I continued to save and plan my travels and emigration, organising visas, itineraries, along with everything else that comes up a big move (solo as per plan)!
I was love bombed at the beginning of our “friendship” (with benefits) and as soon as my boyfriend “had” me, the loveliness was very quick to stop. He has tried to manipulate me and situations but I’m passive of this. I am slowly realising he is not the person I initially thought he was as more stories about who he was and what he done has come to light i.e. getting into physical fights in the past over his ex (very jealous character) and he’s the carbon copy of everything I hate about my dad. I feel relief we won’t be together forever, but enjoy the good days too much to walk away before I move.
He recently told me he wants to come along. I explained that I made this plan before him and was open about that since day one. He knows I have family to reconnect with abroad, and really wanted that time to be free and “find myself” (utter cringe, but I’m in my early twenties and still figuring “it” out) and that he is not apart of that plan.
Of course, he was upset and a bit erratic (understandably) and thought I would have loved him enough that I would’ve been jumping up and down when he said that to me. I encouraged him to travel regardless and that just because I said we couldn’t go together, does not mean that he couldn’t go and this kind of eased things. I told him that if he no longer felt the same way about our relationship arrangement, I would understand if he wanted to breakup and he said that he rather see it out than lose things now.
I’ve decided to leave sooner than anticipated and have my flight booked. I probably won’t tell him until closer to the time incase he books a flight (he would be the type).
AIBU?