a reckless or reasonable thing to do?

[whattodp]

I’m due to return to work on 1st November. Ds is currently 8 months. I am a lone parent and this last week I am finding it HARD to keep him entertained. I am really tempted to put him in nursery two days a week from next month, before I go back to work. However, my savings (excluding what I will need up until November) are 10k. It would be 500 ish a month for him to go two days a week so effectively reducing my savings to 8k ish. I feel so selfish doing this too as it’s only because I am not coping too well with no ‘time off’ and I’m in a complete state this morning trying to decide what to do. I’ve also heard he’s likely to be unwell if I do this and then that makes me feel awful. Going back to work early isn’t an option, the day is fixed for start of Nov and I don’t want to change it.

I would do it. Sounds like you never get a break. It's quite nice knowing he is settled before you start work too.

I would do it. You need to look after yourself as well as your baby. Everyone needs some time to themselves.

I’ve also heard he’s likely to be unwell if I do this and then that makes me feel awful.

If you mean he's likely to pick up some coughs and colds whenever he first starts nursery then maybe it would actually make sense to start before you're back at work?

I would do it, you need a break.

As for being ill it's going to happen no matter when you send him, but it's helpful to get some exposure to nursery bugs while you're off work, rather than needing to take a lot of time off when you've only just gone back.

Would you do consecutive days?

It makes way more sense to expose him to the Inevitable bouts of illness he’s going to get either way now, while you can pick him up at short notice or keep him off. The stress of dealing with that when you’ve just started back at work is quite full on believe me.

Yes, at his age, better consistency. Make one day not a Monday so you don’t have to think about bank holidays when they’ll close.

Yes, I think they would recommend that anyway

Have a think about half days too. 3x mornings for example might cost less and you'd also get more, albeit shorter, breaks. That's what I used to do with mine!

Yes I would do it as well if I were you

That sounds like a really good idea. You will still have a chunk of savings. He will get ill, but (from bitter experience) starting them at nursery a couple of weeks before you return to work means that you are constantly struggling with an ill baby and settling back into work. Both of my dc started at 8 months and they settled really quickly.

@TokyoSushi thanks I didn’t think of that!

I wouldn’t think twice, OP. Maternity leave is awful. I went back to work early and immediately felt much better about everything.

Do it!

1. It's only money. Money is there to enjoy life, so if having 2 days a week to yourself is enjoyment, then it is money well spent.
2. Kids get bugs in nursery, so if you put him in now, then it will help build up his immune system before you go back to work.

Perhaps a Tuesday and Friday so if he is poorly on the Tuesday then he can still probably go Friday.

@PrayerFactory I feel better reading that! Currently feeling like an awful mum and wondering if there is an end in sight

As you are a lone parent I would suggest looking at the cost as an investment in your physical and emotional wellbeing.

You need to look after yourself and you may well find you can cope much better with some regular breaks.

Are you spending time with others regularly? Babies are relentless and demanding of everything so make sure you have company/support

(Fellow lone parent here who needed support from homestart volunteers and booked extra nursery sessions for my wellbeing)

Would it help if you sent him for one day instead of two, which would half the impact on your savings. You could choose a midweek break, or if you are alone with baby all weekend you could choose a Friday and go out to a cinema, walk, lunch,syne get together with a friend. Or if you chose Mondays it would give you something to look forward to over the weekend. It's always easier and quicker to tidy up without a baby so which ever day you could drop off, quick tidy and day in front of you. Or even better go straight out from nursery. Maybe gym, long walk,run incorporated if that is your thing. I think it is really important to carve some time for yourself, especially as a lone parent. You could give one day a try and maybe up it to two nearer the time you are returning to work.

I agree that 3 mornings might be more useful than 2 full days.

@TimeSlipMushroom ive just sort of blanked out any life for myself at the moment. I just try and get through each day and it’s been ok so far but I am starting to feel a bit empty the last couple of weeks. Silly things like the house is a state and I would love to sort it out on my own one afternoon. That sort of thing. I feel horrendously guilty though and also worry about savings aa I’m on my own. It feels bleak!

If a nursery place is available, I think this is a good idea. Gives your DS chance to settle in at nursery before you return to work - more peace of mind for you and everything doesn't change at once for him.

I would do it. I put my DD in nursery for three half days when she was 20 months. I had DD2 who was 10 weeks old and was a high needs baby who didn't sleep day or night. I felt guilty at the start but DD loved nursery and it gave me time with the baby and not feeling guilty that I wasn't getting out to the playground, library or soft play everyday. It worked for us.

I think the three half days is also a good idea. I would choose all or some of them as afternoons ...do what you need to do in morning then go out from nursery drop off. This also breaks the day up a bit if you are alone all evening with baby.

Mornings or afternoons do you reckon? Hate making these decisions alone.

@shiningstar2 thank you

You are doing great, and definitely don’t feel guilty, you need a break 😊 I’m on maternity leave and going back to work in September, it is hard and definitely not a holiday!
Also, if you are in the UK have a look at Tax free childcare on the government website, that gives you a contribution towards nursery payments. You might know this already but just wanted to say incase you didn’t.