a reckless or reasonable thing to do?

[whattodp]

I’m due to return to work on 1st November. Ds is currently 8 months. I am a lone parent and this last week I am finding it HARD to keep him entertained. I am really tempted to put him in nursery two days a week from next month, before I go back to work. However, my savings (excluding what I will need up until November) are 10k. It would be 500 ish a month for him to go two days a week so effectively reducing my savings to 8k ish. I feel so selfish doing this too as it’s only because I am not coping too well with no ‘time off’ and I’m in a complete state this morning trying to decide what to do. I’ve also heard he’s likely to be unwell if I do this and then that makes me feel awful. Going back to work early isn’t an option, the day is fixed for start of Nov and I don’t want to change it.

What's their nap schedule? Set it up so they have most of their nap time at home.

I would have gone for mornings personally.

Definitely do it. I’d go Tues/Weds/Thurs mornings. For me it would be one morning to sort, clean and tidy at home, one to go out somewhere nice, one to just sit in peace with tea and biscuits! Don’t worry about the money, you’re investing in your health. You can make it up again when you go back to work.

Yes me too, I loved my afternoon naps when DD napped as a baby 😃

I think it’s a great idea all round. It’ll make it much easier for you to transition back to work when you know he’s somewhere that he’s had time to get settled, and it will hopefully get all the initial coughs and sniffles out of the way.

There’s no point having savings if you don’t make them work for you, and this seems like a great use of them. Needing time off from your baby doesn’t make you a “bad mother”; if you were in a two parent family you would expect a break. Like a PP I hated maternity leave first time round and went back as soon as I could. You’ve done well to get to 8 months with your sanity intact 😂.

Maybe a mix of mornings and afternoons? It might have to be when the nursery has free spaces.
If you have a mix you can see what your morning routine is likely to be for when you go back to work, and for afternoons you could time the pick up to be about when it would be when you are back at work too.

Do it definitely- are you a single parent as don't mention DH in finances or decision

Depends on nap schedule. Mornings if they will have a good nap in afternoon.
Afternoons will break up the day more though.
One full day and two half days might be a good combination, so you can get more of a break and aren't just rushing to get stuff done before pick up (depending on how long the sessions are).

These are signs of being overwhelmed and you risk becoming burnt out. You have some savings and a plan to return to work. If your car/house/plumbing was breaking you would spend money to fix it and stop it getting worse. You deserve the same for you. You are worth it

(Writing from experience!)

Ps. Let go of any guilt about whether this is right or not. Or what anyone else's opinion might be

100% do it OP, your wellbeing is just as important and you'll need some time to make sure your work ready. It will also mean your more refreshed for your son. If your budget allows I would do 2 full days and try to do Mondays & Wednesdays. Half days are also good but you may to do shopping and house sort out on the same day etc so I would go with full. He's bound to pick some stuff up but that will happen no matter what time you send him.

I will add my voice to this @whattodp

My twins went to nursery at 8 months. You'd think with two of them there'd be so much to do I wouldn't get a second.

Nope.

It ended up I wouldn't get dressed, I'd do nothing, just mope around feeling bored and a bit depressed. I love my children but spending all day every day with toddlers, with only housework and the tv for company drove me potty.

My DS stared nursery at 9 months - many children do - and has always flourished (now 6 and finishing Year 1). I'd talk to the nursery about what they recommend in terms of routine - contrary to the PP who said consecutive days I suspect a professional will say different days, eg Tues and Fri are better, or as a PP suggested 3 half days might be better if it works for you?

Totally agree with the PP who pointed out that your DC will inevitably get sick when he starts and it's much easier if you aren't dealing with that while you are also trying to re establish yourself at work. And it may be less full on if he starts now in summer than at the beginning of peak illness season in November. I have two colleagues with 1 year olds who have just started nursery and they are so apologetic and appalled by how much they are having to take time off and WFH for sick babies. I told them I entirely expected it and not to worry, but they are lucky our workplace can give them that flexibility.

This sounds v sensible, kids get I'll a lot the first winter of nursery, far better to get that started when you are not back at work.

It sounds like you need a break, but it's jumping straight to the most expensive option and one you will be using for work soon.

Instead I'd look into ways to get a break ata reasonable cost. My local gym had a Creche and it was an amazing thing for all the pre-school years and you'd get a whole year of membership and regular Creche time for the same cost as a month or so if nursery.

My Saturday mornings would be gym class, take baby swimming at gym, they'd then sleep for 2hrs (swimming does that) and I'd hang about in the cafe reading a book or talking to friends.

Likewise a babysitter would give you a lot of hours for that cost, hours you can also use back at work, so you don't feel your whole life is work-baby-work-baby.

So don't feel guilty about spending money on having a break, but do think about how best to spend it so it supports you longer term.

Good luck

I’d do it, he’s bound to get a bit ill initially and you can get it out of the way without needing to take time off work. Plus gets him used to nursery gradually. 3 half days are also a good idea depending on costs. I’d decide on morning vs afternoon based on his nap schedule eg if he is down to 1 nap per day then I’d do mornings at nursery, take him home at 12.30 or 1 pm and put straight down to nap.