What's the funniest misunderstanding you've had?

[CuriousLadyBird]

Do you have a funny story about a misunderstanding where it be you've misunderstood something or another person has misunderstood you?

I'm just starting this thread because I thought about something that happened last week and giggled to myself.

I'm currently under the community mental health team as my mental health is not where I want it to be but next year I've been accepted on to a mental health nursing course and can start If my mental health is stable enough (just a bit of background).

So I had a home visit off someone from the CMHT and we were chatting and discussing my future etc and they asked what my goal was and I said "I think my long term goal is to be sitting where you are" and I meant like becoming qualified as a mental health nurse and helping people but this person must not have understood what I meant and said "Well you live here so you can sit here anytime you want".

I was a bit like what? But didn't say anything and carried on with the conversation so I don't know, I think maybe this person thinks my long term goal is to sit on the other side of the sofa (and I appreciate people with other mental health conditions may have issues sitting in certain places so maybe that's where we've got mixed up) but thinking back to it has really made me giggle.

Next time they come I might sit on that side of the sofa and they'll think I've reached my long term goal

Leaving work & walking through the car park, I noticed a man approaching from another direction but it was clear our paths would meet. He was a rather handsome man, causing me to unwittingly, hopefully surreptitiously, glance at him as we drew closer. He fell into step just behind me & suddenly said, “Well, hello!”. I turned, greeting him with a polite “Hi” & realised to my horror he was answering his phone.

My daughter was about ten and she had a lump on her arm. She told everyone she was going for an autopsy on it.

Wasn't there another brilliant one from a thread way back, where OP was taking her baby for a medical check-up and the GP asked her to put her hands on his head and tummy, to comfort him and keep him still - and she misunderstood and tried to put the baby's own hands on in a 'rub your tummy and pat your head' configuration?

😂 I remember thinking at the time that I wasn’t sure if it was pc to say ‘midget’ but maybe it was the description that people of short stature in Scotland preferred 😂

When my DH was a small child he had a field at the end of the garden with donkeys in it. The owner used to let him pet them. Then one day they were gone the owner had sold them. My DH dad worked on a building site and husband overhead him saying he was getting a donkey the next day. Husband was very excited and couldnt wait for his dad to get home from work the next day. In comes his dad wearing his brand new Donkey Jacket. Very disappointed little boy. 😥

Long before garlic was a common ingredient........ overheard at works dinner, 2 chaps discussing contraception, one said garlic was the best, the other asked if you had to rub it on

When I was about 8 years old I was visiting my older sister &I announced:
“did you know that Dad has got a new job?” “No?” She replied (Dad had worked at the same office for about 20years so changing jobs would be a big deal).
”yes, he’s going to be a stonemason “ I told her feeling very important that I knew something she didn’t.
lots of laughter as they knew Dad had been invited to join the Freemasons.

Years ago on a girls weekend away camping sharing a tent, the 3 of us got changed into our pjs. Friend A said “I apologise in advance for the rather loud pjs- I hope they don’t give you both a headache haha!”
Friend B replied with a very puzzled look “what sound do they make then?”
She has never lived it down! 😀

I remember another one, which I may have told here previously. I was in the staff room at work making a tea, when a new lady walked in and also made a drink. I asked her her name and she replied 'Adina'. Oh that's unusual, I say. She then asks " Yes, you want a tea, brew?" So I say "No it's okay, I just made one thanks." She gives me a weird look, so I asked her to repeat what she said. She had actually said " Yes, it's Hebrew." Meaning her Name.

When I was doing work experience I worked in a hairdressers. A lady came in for a "cut and blow dry". So I told the hairdresser who was out the back and she said "ok, can you seat her by the basins please". No, I said, not a wash, just a cut and blow dry. She looked at me like I was daft (can't think why). She had to ask me twice, then spell it out to me that to have a blow dry you have to wash the hair first 😂

When DD was about 5 her dad took her to his mum's. When she got back I asked her what she had done and she said she had watched a a film at her Nan's called "There Was a Divorce". I said to her dad that I had never heard of it, and that sounded a bit grown up for her.
The film was actually called "The Wizard of Oz" 🤗😀

This made me lol 😅

I still get Iceland the supermarket and Iceland the country Mixed up all the time.

I'm sorry, I don't understand this one - can you explain?

’loud’ as in bright colours & patterns rather than ‘loud sounds’.

omg, yes! Thank you so much. Reading it once again, it's obvious, but I guess I am like Friend B!

i didn't understand the one about the arab man by the canal.
can anyone explain please.

a few of these sound a little contrived.
almost as if people are making them up . . .

At work a colleague was telling myself an another colleague about a women we used to work with can’t remember what the gossip was but remember it’s was an unusual hobby she had.no replied oh really well she is quite the dark horse

Later my colleague (who is French) is retelling this story to another colleague and said ‘I was shocked and to find out she is a dark whore too, I would never have know this’

I misheard what my mil said.
I heard small Arab man
She actually said a nice narrow boat.

One evening on holiday in Sri Lanka. We were dining outdoors, it was very dark. I happened to notice a firefly on the wall. I’d never seen one before and pointed it out to other people around me ( all tourists ). We were all admiring its beauty, but the waiter, very keen to please, thought we were upset by its presence and promptly swatted it dead.

In college doing my A-Levels. My teacher asked me if I wanted anything from the canteen before the lesson. I said “I like cock” I meant ‘I like coke!’. Very embarrassing. I was mortified. Thankfully he saw the funny side and knew I wasn’t coming on to him. He still teases me about it whenever I see him though. It’s been nearly 20 years.

Not me, but a distant relatives elderly parents (well into their 80s)
They booked a holiday to Amsterdam, and she jokingly told them that they made the best hash brownies over there. On their return, they told her that they’d had real difficulty getting her some hash, but had finally managed to get hold of a kilo 🙈 and had it in their suitcase for her to make them some brownies 😂😂

At college, I had a tutor who had a very strong Scottish accent. She asked me a question and I didn't hear so asked her to repeat. She asked me again and it sounded like 'And how old are the kids you are with now?' So I replied with 'Five years old.' Her and my classmates burst out laughing and she said 'No, I was asking how old YOU are now.' I felt very silly.

😂😂😂

Yesterday I was chatting to an American friend (relevant as the accent may have played a part in my mishearing him along with dodgy phone connection). He was recommending place to eat in Bristol. I thought he said "I went to a great topless place and the food was amazing." He seemed puzzled by my surprised reaction and comment that "i would not associate that sort of place with good food, more like chicken wings etc." I asked if it was like Hooters. He had actually said "tapas" not "topless." I was thinking Bristol has taken a downturn!

Dying