What's the funniest misunderstanding you've had?

[CuriousLadyBird]

Do you have a funny story about a misunderstanding where it be you've misunderstood something or another person has misunderstood you?

I'm just starting this thread because I thought about something that happened last week and giggled to myself.

I'm currently under the community mental health team as my mental health is not where I want it to be but next year I've been accepted on to a mental health nursing course and can start If my mental health is stable enough (just a bit of background).

So I had a home visit off someone from the CMHT and we were chatting and discussing my future etc and they asked what my goal was and I said "I think my long term goal is to be sitting where you are" and I meant like becoming qualified as a mental health nurse and helping people but this person must not have understood what I meant and said "Well you live here so you can sit here anytime you want".

I was a bit like what? But didn't say anything and carried on with the conversation so I don't know, I think maybe this person thinks my long term goal is to sit on the other side of the sofa (and I appreciate people with other mental health conditions may have issues sitting in certain places so maybe that's where we've got mixed up) but thinking back to it has really made me giggle.

Next time they come I might sit on that side of the sofa and they'll think I've reached my long term goal

I had a sandwich made at a local shop, l asked for white baguette with turkey, lettuce, tomato and cucumber she asked if I wanted mayonnaise and I said no but could I have some onion. When I got home and bit into my sandwich I thought it tasted odd, kind of sweet. I looked inside and there seemed to be some sort of shiny sauce. It was then that I realised instead of ONION she had put “honey on”!

this is the best one yet
😂

At university, attended one of my lectures for three weeks before realising I'd been studying in the wrong class, it was still related to my degree just the wrong module.

By chance we met a clergymen friend at an exhibition. During the conversation he said.: "me and Jane have spit up". Cue embarrassed pause from DW and I until we realised that he meant that they were looking around the exhibition separately.

Sending first years to the next lab for a big weight or a long stand was very usual and the children tended to see the funny side, we were allowed a sense of humour in the olden days.

Either very dim or very quick witted...

My friend said to me recently, “oops, I think I’ve really offended Tricia” (her colleague).

Ages ago, Tricia had told my friend that her dad lived in our town, but her mum was in Holloway. My friend was pretty shocked that Tricia’s mum was in prison, but didn’t like to ask what she was in for.

One day, Tricia mentioned in the office that her mum was coming to stay with her for the weekend. My friend said. “Wow, that’s great! Is she out on parole?” Tricia looked outraged and everyone else looked confused.

Eventually, someone explained to my friend that Holloway was a part of London and the prison was just named after it.

I went to a parents evening once with my DD. As we were leaving I was meant to say 'that's lovely thank you'. What I actually said was 'love you' I was so embarrassed and it didn't help that I was relying on the teacher not hearing me but my DD told her about it the next day!

@HowNice23 I am crying...paper hat!!!

I asked twins if they were the same age 🤣

My late MiL was a pillar of the community, raconteuse, larger than life personality with a sense of humour but often getting herself into scrapes on account of being slightly deaf or choosing not to listen. My FIL was the village GP of many years and had hatched and dispatched many villagers over the decades.

My MiL was in the very busy village shop one day (years ago, 1960s) and saw one of her husband’s patients who she knew well and knew he’d had a complicated operation on his hand. She sidled up to him and said “how are you Mr Jenkins? Recovering well? It’s an awkward site for stitches”. He nodded and kept both his hands firmly in his pockets. There were quite a few locals gathered around at this point and as he seemed a bit bashful she teased him and said, “oh go on Mr Jenkins, show me your scar!”. He kept his hands firmly in his pockets and seemed unwilling, a bit sheepish, shifting about, “come on, just a quick peek!”. “No” he said, ducking away from her.

When she got home from the shop she said to my FIL, “I saw that nice Mr Jenkins in the shop. He was in a funny mood. I asked to see how his wound was healing and he wasn’t at all willing to show me”. My FIL sighed and said, “I’m not surprised, Mr Jenkins had a vasectomy”.

Years ago my son happened to mention to his teacher that his nan (on his dads side) was in prison
This was a very middle class area,so not many kids knew anyone in prison
I was collared at hometime to be asked if his nan really was in prison
I had to explain that she lived about 3 streets away from the local one and he must have heard us talking about it
Turns out he'd told just about everyone we knew!
Thankfully she thought it was funny

When I was a kid my mum sent me to the shop with a small list of things to pick up, She needed some 1001 carpet cleaner, I asked for LOOL. Spent bloody ages at the till just going 'No, it's LOOL, It's a carpet cleaner'

My history teacher did a gap year in Japan. During the year he had been helped a lot by two ladies who worked in the office of the gap year agency.

At the end of the year, he decided being the gentleman that he was to thank by buying them a drink. He went into the agency office and in his best Japanese said he wanted to thank them for all of their help during the year by taking them out for a drink. Unfortunately his Japanese wasn't as good as he thought it was and he had mispronounced some words and said "to thank you for all of your help this year I would like to have sex with you". They looked shocked, so thinking maybe they had misunderstood and that perhaps they didn't earn a lot of money he decided to clarify what he said and followed up with "don't worry I will be paying".

DC thought for years that I was telling her on Friday nights that she “could have a lion (lie in) in the morning”. So many disappointing Saturday mornings….

I once went to a comedy night thinking I was seeing Alan Carr (someone else booked it) and was quite surprised when Jimmy Carr walked on stage.

This thread has tickled me today after coming down with a crappy cold, thanks OP.

I am being totally dim and don’t get the “Yellowcard” one though...

Years ago, colleagues on a lunch break sat chatting about holidays and one was regaling us about a boat trip off the coast of Canada and how she saw whales.

My friend “what?! You could see Wales all the way from there?!”. Never lived it down.

Conversation with my DS when he was about 9:

-Mum, have you ever fainted?
-Yes, a few times.
-Why?
-Anaemia....stood up too fast....
-How does that cause you to faint??
-Well, if you're anaemic, your blood doesn't have enough iron, which it needs to carry oxygen blah blah blah...
-No - the emu. How did the emu make you faint?
-Eh?
-You just said you fainted because an emu stood up too fast.

I work in a shop and noticed the delivery man struggling with a parcel. As he walked through the door I asked him “Have you got a big one?” Parcel, I meant parcel!! The look on his face…

I started a new job. I juggle my horses around my hours and keep my phone on me when I’m mucking out etc.

Not many weeks into said job, my director messaged me with something he wanted me to review and I quickly replied “No probs, just poo picking, back shortly.”

I meant just clearing the field of manure. To my absolute horror, he only skim read it and genuinely thought I’d basically said I was having a shit and I could look at it when I was back at my desk.

I went to the cash point with my then very small kids. I was sleep deprived and struggling with having ditched my career to be a stay at home parent. A man walked past me and said, "Not working." I launched into an explanation of the costs of childcare for 3 kids and how it was more than my earning capacity. He looked at me blankly, pointed to the cash point and said, "Cash point isn't working." 🙈

I went to a conference once and ended up in the wrong room. It was to do with being self employed/case management.

When the speaker began it took me way too long to realise what I’d done.

He said ‘ah well I don’t need to tell you people about the Ogden tables’ with an eye roll.

everyone laughed and nodded sagely.

I stayed until the break then went to the right room. Problem was it was really obvious as everyone was sitting at tables and I’d missed the first session.

I actually announced that yes I did want to attend the first part of the other conference as it was a field I was interested in actually 💁🏻‍♀️

not sure anyone believed me

🤣🤣🤣 brilliant!

A really cute one from DD, today in the swimming pool. I was there with her and DH, DD is 3. I'm feeling a little self conscious at the moment as I have gained weight due to medication and steroids, plus my face looks all puffy. So I said to DH 'do you honestly still find me attractive?'. DH said 'yes of course I do' etc etc.... then he said 'I find you attractive because I love you'. DD - who obviously doesn't know the word 'attractive' and misheard - then said: 'daddy can you find ME a tractor cuz you love me?' 😂😂😂😂😂

First one - I was about 10 years old and in a supermarket with my mum. She asked me to go and get a dozen eggs. I’d been gone a while but when I went back to mum, I handed her a box of 12 eggs and said ‘sorry, 12 is the most they do’ 😂 I don’t know how many I thought a dozen was but I clearly thought it was more than 12!

Second - we’d been through McDonald’s drive through. I was struggling to hold my burger (boxed with the lid) and my chips. My mum is driving so couldn’t hold anything so she says ‘open your top and put your chips in’. I was very confused but proceeded to do as I was told and unzip my jacket to put the chips in… when she was finished laughing she explained she meant open the burger box and but the chips in the other side 🫣

Lastly - again with my mum (can you see a theme here?!) eating an ice cream (in a cone) and it was fairly wobbly so she says to hold it further up… so I lift the ice cream into the air… again once she’d finished laughing at me she said she meant hold it further up the cone 🙄

I was relatively young in all of these instances and have thankfully now gained some common sense (or just figured out what my mother actually means!)