Not to go watch DS in this play?

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DS school play next week. His class do a single dance in the year 6 production next week. It is 90 minutes long and he is in it for 2 minutes.
Am I a bad mum not to go watch?
They do it 3 times! Seems alot to never look out and recognise anyone but 90 minutes!!!

Selfish Is the polite word !

Your husband sounds a right miserable git as do you tbf but least you are showing face.

Of course you go if you can.

The bit where you can see them searching for your face in the crowd- then they spot you and give a little smile.

Most school productions are mainly rubbish. Dire even. I sat through an hour to see my child give their one line as a camel in the Nativity.

If one of my other Mum friends can't make it, one of us volunteers to give them a little wave; e.g. I can't make it but Sally's Mum is going to give you a wave and take a photo for me so I can see.

Get there early- watch how the kids are searching to see their parents/family/carers etc.

My ‘child’ is a teacher, and I’m going to travel 70 miles after work ( in a primary school) to watch her performing arts students, because she is proud of them, and I am proud of her! She got her first teaching post as Covid hit, and it’s been a difficult couple of years, but things are coming together and she wants me to see how well… in the same way that I used to attend all her own school and university performances! You just do what you have to!

Ugh i know it’s an absolute bore fest to watch all the other snotty little kids perform but it may be your last ever chance to see him in a school play as an innocent little boy. Might be worth hacking it just for sentimental reasons.
only saying this cause I missed out a huge part due to covid closures. Never did get to see my daughter All sweet and lovely on the stage again and now she’s a teenager 😢

Perhaps someone needs to suggest to the school that if they don't involve the younger classes in the year 6 production, they won't need to do it three times in order to allow all their parents to attend.
There's a lot to be said for the other year groups having their own show, perhaps at a different time of year. Ours did a big year 6 show, but other years did other things, with at most two year groups involved in any of them.

Does he have a grandparent who can attend instead, so there is someone there for him?

Alternatively, you could volunteer to help. If the children in the other classes are held off-stage apart from their bit, you'll only get to see his part of the performance.

I'd go.

What would you and your DH be doing if you didn't go?

We always made sure that at least one of us could go. Unless you absolutely can’t get there, you go, even if the kids don’t seem fussed.

you should be there for at least one performance. So should the father.

Go, and then bill your DH for however many hours you spent out of the house at a rate of pay which you deem appropriate.

The issue here isn’t whether someone needs to go to this play or not, it’s the fact that you’re the default parent and he wouldn’t even check in with his best friend about whether to do this or not, but you’re worrying about it enough to ask a load of strangers. Worrying about this is work, and it needs to be split between you and DH or it doesn’t happen at all and everyone suffers or doesn’t, depending on how important it really was in the first place. Because that’s what would happen if there were two of him instead of him and you.

I say this as a drama teacher who desperately wants audiences for my kids’ work - your right to an equal, manageable mental load trumps your son’s need to have any parent at this play. He will benefit more from seeing his mum put some boundaries down.

Unless there was a really good reason, I'd go.

I understand why most posters are saying you should go. I think feeling supported by parents at school does make a difference. And parents showing up to watch a play is supporting. But I don't know that it matters every time.

If this is a bit part in a play that he isn't at all excited about being in and there are 3 performances so most kids at most performances aren't going to have a parent there, I don't think it's necessarily going to bother him. And providing you put the effort in for the things that are important to him (even when he says you don't have to) and the things that are important to you, missing the odd play won't matter.

A. It's very rude and poor ettiequte to watch only your kid and leave IMO

B. Sometime you do things for other people (even if they say they don't care)

My parents never came to any of my orchestra concerts. Well maybe they did but I remember the ones they didn’t go to. Please go.

My dad never turned up to these things when I was a child. I remember it and it hurt.

Your DH needs to buck his ideas up and you should go to his play.

My parents were often too busy to go to these sorts of things. It stung but I pretended it was OK.

Oh come on, it's just what you do as a parent isn't it?

DSDs was ill for her yr 6 play. I had to go (on her request) and report back to her how her friend did.

Suck it up and get yourself there.

Go
Praise him
Acknowledge the work he put in
Don’t make negative comments about ‘only 2 minutes’

I feel your pain but I'd go, sorry OP.