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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to go watch DS in this play?

70 replies

Summerishere123 · 05/07/2023 21:26

DS school play next week. His class do a single dance in the year 6 production next week. It is 90 minutes long and he is in it for 2 minutes.
Am I a bad mum not to go watch?
They do it 3 times! Seems alot to never look out and recognise anyone but 90 minutes!!!

OP posts:
Summernightss · 05/07/2023 21:53

@Summerishere123 oh I see! I would still go.. I went to all my child's ones , even the boring ones and out of school ones ( clubs etc)

Chowtime · 05/07/2023 21:53

Yes you have to sit through things like this as a parent.

Not 3 times but definately once.

Why isnt his dad going?

GCSister · 05/07/2023 21:54

Sounds exactly like our school. Parents are only allowed to attend one performance so everyone gets a chance ...... it's not like you have to sit through all three performances!!

Original poster
Summerishere123 · 05/07/2023 21:55

I can get there, I am self employed so can work around it. I am going to his Piano recital tomorrow and we went to sports day last week so it isn't like we don't go to stuff or care. It's just that 90 minutes is sooo long. I may well take headphones!
I do wonder why DH never feels he should go these things and why that's acceptable compared to me not going.

OP posts:
oranges29 · 05/07/2023 21:55

I would go. Children remember this stuff. Always show up if you can.

Original poster
Summerishere123 · 05/07/2023 21:57

@Chowtime Because he doesn't want to...

OP posts:
GCSister · 05/07/2023 21:57

I do wonder why DH never feels he should go these things and why that's acceptable compared to me not going.

It's not acceptable. It's pretty shit tbh.

My DH had to miss sports day last week as it was changed last min and he was gutted.

ZacharinaQuack · 05/07/2023 21:58

Is there any chance his bit is near the beginning or end? My mum used to just sit at the back, watch the bit of the school concert we were in, then sneak out.

MiddleParking · 05/07/2023 22:00

I can’t get my head around yours or your husband’s attitudes at all tbh. There are a lot of things that are boring and frustrating about parenthood - this sounds like one of the things that is exciting and meaningful.

Original poster
Summerishere123 · 05/07/2023 22:00

@ZacharinaQuack No idea! The door to the hall though is right where they bring the kids in from the classrooms so I couldn't sneak out.

OP posts:
ladygindiva · 05/07/2023 22:00

oranges29 · 05/07/2023 21:55

I would go. Children remember this stuff. Always show up if you can.

This. Dp ( aged 48) still remembers his mum not bothering to come and watch him in his school play. He had a small part but was secretly thrilled and was devastated when he realised she wasn't coming for no good reason. I'd say he still holds a fair bit of resentment about it 35 odd years later. She's a selfish cow.

GCSister · 05/07/2023 22:01

It's 90 mins..... seriously, it's not that long!!

xyz111 · 05/07/2023 22:02

I wouldn't miss it. Kids say they don't care but he will if other parents are there are you're not.

ladygindiva · 05/07/2023 22:02

MiddleParking · 05/07/2023 22:00

I can’t get my head around yours or your husband’s attitudes at all tbh. There are a lot of things that are boring and frustrating about parenthood - this sounds like one of the things that is exciting and meaningful.

I agree. If you can't give up an hour or muster any pride or excitement about watching your child in school plays , sports events etc then I think there's something missing from your soul tbh.

Mrsjayy · 05/07/2023 22:03

My dc are adults and I remember going to see absolute guff sometimes but it's just one of those things you have to do !

Chowtime · 05/07/2023 22:04

Summerishere123 · 05/07/2023 21:57

@Chowtime Because he doesn't want to...

It's not a question of what he wants, it's a question of doing whats right. You both sound a bit, I dunno, can't quite put my finger on the right word.

EveryoneButSam · 05/07/2023 22:05

My daughter has done music and dance for the last 10 or so years. I cannot count the endless tedious hours of other people's kids performing I have sat through to see her on stage for 30 seconds, but I think that's just what you have to do!

TheNoodlesIncident · 05/07/2023 22:06

You might enjoy it though. My ds was in the Y6 panto, he only had a short speaking part but I wouldn't have not attended. (He was in the previous year's in the choir, I went to that too.) It does send a message to the child really if you don't when you could...

TeenLifeMum · 05/07/2023 22:09

My Dd dances and they do shows. At least now she does 4 classes she’s in the show more but when she did 1 class I’d pay £17 a ticket to watch her 2 minutes on stage. It mattered to her… a lot! I go with dd2 to watch and dh doesn’t come because it’s expensive and he hates it. Royal ballet is £14!

Fifiesta · 05/07/2023 22:09

Although we are all different, I truly can’t understand why you wouldn’t want to go.
Mind-numbing was work related events in my own time. Anything my children did was important.

jannier · 05/07/2023 22:11

If he is in year 6 it will be the last ever performance you ever go to...no more sports days either

Schlomp · 05/07/2023 22:13

As an adult I was in a choir and did multiple public performances with them. None of my family came to see any of them despite being able to, and that grates on me as a nearly 40 yr old!

LizzieBet14 · 05/07/2023 22:21

He'll probably want you there when everyone else's parents are there. I would go - the primary school years are the best years and go so fast.

Nanny0gg · 05/07/2023 22:24

I have sat through innumerable school events as a parent, GP and member of staff.

Your DS will appreciate it.

Your husband's attitude is shit

LolaSmiles · 05/07/2023 22:27

do wonder why DH never feels he should go these things and why that's acceptable compared to me not going
It's not acceptable.

He's just put attending children's performances and events into the box marked "Jobs for Mums" and has opted out.