Am I an awful a parent as I feel? Third Covid round has messed me up and I’m freaking out.

[Cloxs]

Posting for traffic

Have had two back to back Covid infections - it took me a good 6 weeks to be back to myself after the last one. Tested positive (weak) a couple of weeks into this new infection (or it’s a relapse, who knows, LO was also really poorly at same time).

im at week 3 from this infection. I was so poorly I convinced myself I had a stroke cause of the vertigo and other symptoms- went to hospital and was clear.

ive struggled with things health wise since my LO was born. I’ve been told I’m burned out and exhausted and need a lot of rest.

I feel like a terrible mum. My parents care for my LO so much more than I feel comfortable with and I feel like a waste of space cause I can’t snap out of the exhaustion. I was getting there - 80% normal again after a slow steady slump and this further infection has made me feel hopeless.

my symptoms are severe brain fog, derealisation, weakness, dizziness, exhaustion. I think 70% is due to this second infection when I’d not got over the first one.

is anyone else struggling to get over Covid as much as me? I feel so ostracised and sick of the comments from other mums that I just need to get out and socialise. Of course I want to do that - when I feel well I do - a lot. But struggling to even walk to bathroom and back with this recent infection.

How old is your baby?

Could health anxiety be playing a part?

To be honest, I'd stop testing and try to take each day as it comes. There's definitely some truth in getting out and about/fresh air/ exercise making us feel a bit better.

Do you get out with friends or do any hobbies?

Have you had a long Covid diagnosis? Your symptoms sound similar to a colleague

She’s 21 months

I agree and yes I have hobbies - plenty of them - but right now I’m feeling too unwell to leave the house. I suffer health anxiety but as a result of having had such bad issues with Covid. I’m in therapy for it.

when I feel physically well I do a lot of things - gardening, out with LO, socialising, journaling, music. Right now I can’t even shower cause the exhaustion and brain fog is too intense.

No - cause I fully recovered in 6 weeks prior - GP said not until 12 weeks post infection would they consider that.

Ahh health anxiety is a bugger.

I wish you well with the therapy.

This sounds hideous. Have you had your bloods done,?

Could it be that KNOWING it is covid is making you feel worse. I know this was the case for some people I know. Stop the testing, focus on how you feel each day and act accordingly.

I was similar after my 2nd bout last summer and was very weak, short of breath, and palpitations and just couldn’t get back to normal activities without becoming totally exhausted. My GP advised me to effectively creep up on my stamina, lol…. So just do ‘normal stuff’ for an hour one day then rest, then next day maybe 10 mins longer and so on each day just 10 more minutes. It sounded so bloody obvious and I followed the advice and found that whilst it took a few months to feel fully strong (to do activities like surfing) it took just a couple of weeks to get over the exhaustion and brain fog and be relatively normal. Might this approach help you?

This is so true! You can't boom and bust. Don't overdo it then have a day to recover.

Gently gently, not pushing it, just very quietly increasing what you do.

This isn’t unusual with covid. The trick is going to be to take it slowly and not rush into doing too much or you will make it worse.
And don’t feel guilty about your parents looking after the baby more than you’d like for now. It’ll be helping you to get better quicker.

I know the Mum guilt well. I was very unwell after Covid and still have Long Covid years later, but it has got better. At the beginning I had vertigo and had balance therapy with occular vestibular exercises prescribed which along with short term use of prochlorperazine helped. I also had bad brain fog, couldn't cook as I would burn myself or the food and would score on dementia assessments for memory. It has all got better over time with rest, but at the beginning I had a lot of family help as my husband was also very unwell with Covid. Call on all help you can at this early stage. Ignore anyone telling you to just get out and do things, at this stage you need to rest otherwise recovery can be delayed if you push yourself. I have been through the Long Covid Clinic in my area and can give lots of links to resources that might help. PM me if you need to.

I had covid at the start of the year- my fourth infection despite being vaccinated- and had chronic pneumonia which was only diagnosed after three months. This contributed to such bad anaemia that I ended up in A&E in April and had to be transfused as well as have IV antibiotics for the pneumonia which had been missed by my GP several times.

It's no exaggeration to say that I felt like I was dying. I really and truly had convinced myself that I was. Since being treated I feel like a new person; not totally back to fighting for yet and will likely be left with some chest problems from the untreated pneumonia- but comparatively I'm so much better and am back to living like a normal person and not in bed all the time.

I'd suggest asking for some thorough blood tests and not accepting "that's normal" as a response for each area; do your own research on the ranges. I had been, for example, told my B12 was "normal" but it was literally the bottom number of normal and it was contributing to my anaemia.

Good luck- it's awful. My doctor had been telling me I was depressed and trying to prescribe me fucking Prozac. I was depressed, my blood was basically useless, red water.

*wasn't depressed that should read.

You’re not doing anything wrong.
Your child will love spending time with their grandparents.

I’m just getting over long covid.
I’ve always been very healthy, have only ever seen the doctor a handful of times in my life and then I got covid.
Physically my symptoms only lasted a few days but the exhaustion, brain fog, slump and shortness of breath have lasted months.

I didn’t go to the doctors about it as tbh I’ve been too exhausted with just trying to get through the everyday work and patenting and as I don’t have physical symptoms I felt it was a bit of a waste of time.
But it may be worth you going there especially with such a young baby.

What I would suggest is forcing yourself out for a walk, even if it’s just 20 minutes as the fresh air and exercise does make a massive difference.

Thanks all for your responses. I can’t reply to each and every one of them as brain fog is so bad. @Choconuttolata i understand with anaemia. My ferritin and transferrin sats were low postpartum and I also felt like a new woman after taking floradix, which I will restart. Also totally get the pushing Prozac bullshit. My Dr who I work with for my burnout (not NHS, of course) says imagine you felt well. What would you do? I was saying everything I would do - he said that’s not clinical depression, that’s burnout, you want to feel better - any depression is due to your body being fucked up for a bit, not the other way round. I’ve had depression, it doesn’t feel like this.

thanks for the recommendations to get out for a walk, but I know I’ll do that when my body feels able. Right now I feel like I’d collapse so I am just pottering up the garden for fresh air. That’s all I can manage.

Cloxs these videos really helped me with knowing how to pace my recovery. You can listen to them in stages.

When I was at my worst I could not plan or organise anything for myself so it might help if someone else can listen to them with you and help make an activity schedule that is manageable for you based on what is realistic.

My CBT therapist helped me with mine at the time, because I was struggling with the guilt of feeling so useless and being unable to parent my children as I would normally.

They also helped me to add in one thing that made me feel good in a day, 10 minutes sitting in the garden in the sun or just opening the curtains and looking out of the window listening to the birds.

Start with basic daily activities like brushing teeth, hair and washing yourself. If you can't shower or bath because it is too exhausting then don't just sit on a chair and wash your face, underarms and private area using a flannel and a bowl of water.

Even sitting up on the sofa for 10 minutes was too much for me at the beginning, but you will get better it just takes time and rest. The first 4 months were the worst then I gradually improved slowly especially cognitively. I am now back at work almost full time.

Thank you for this @Choconuttolata and I’m so pleased I’m not alone in this.

funniest thing is I am an occupational therapist. I should really know all this! I tell my patients it day in and out (I work in brain injury)

did you sleep a lot during the day at the start? I keep nodding off and feel so bad about it and like I should keep myself awake.

I realise it's important to follow a routine for overall health. I do think that when you have an active infection letting your body rest as it needs takes priority as you can't always gauge the effort your body is actually making.

As someone else in health etc I know very well it's very hard to do your own 'person centred' approach! All of your 'should' will be overriding your 'can' right now. It does sound as though setting some limits before pushing for more medical help might be needed. I've been in a position of infection after infection and, looking back, I'd used up my mental and physical reserves. Focus on health, recovery and get your mental and workload relieved by those around you as possible. Best wishes!

Sorry people are automatically jumping to health anxiety with possible long covid issues.
more check your iron and have a read about postural ortho static tachycardia syndrome /POTs and PEM in long covid

You say you have brain fog but seem very alert to your blood tests and illnesses. I would suspect health anxiety is playing a major part here.

I’m not sure what would constitute enough brain fog to be not able to express my thoughts. I’ve got a brain which works an autopilot - just because I can write a sentence out on mumsnet, doesn’t mean that I don’t feel exhausted on both a cognitive and physical level.

Thanks. Clearly to some people everything will always be “anxiety”

I know. It’s so hard to follow your own advice isn’t it. I’m so bad for pushing through and not letting your body rest - have always been.

I agree and think I need to just rest and try and let go of the guilt, change my mindset that this won’t last forever as it hasn’t in the past - but when I do feel better to make sure I don’t totally overdo it and set myself back. Thanks for your post

I've seen CoQ10 recommended on the health boards for brain fog, where someone suffering with either long COVID or CFS was asked to take it 3 x a day, and saw a very fast improvement. I started incorporating it 1x a day into my routine, along with other supplements (already on b12, added a gentle liquid iron, vitamin d, magnesium, other b vitamins and anything that said it helped the immune system and energy basically). I did see an improvement, but whether that was related to supplements or a coincidence I'll never know. I'll try and find the thread, but these are the supplements
https://www.naturesbest.co.uk/co-q10/coq10-200mg/?src=GOCOQOB0C

Yes I did sleep a lot at the beginning. Once I started improving then enforced rest for half an hour several times a day lying down flat with no audio or visual stimulation even if not sleeping helped me regulate my cognitive and physical fatigue. Later on I could reduce how many times a day I rested for.