Am I an awful a parent as I feel? Third Covid round has messed me up and I’m freaking out.

[Cloxs]

Posting for traffic

Have had two back to back Covid infections - it took me a good 6 weeks to be back to myself after the last one. Tested positive (weak) a couple of weeks into this new infection (or it’s a relapse, who knows, LO was also really poorly at same time).

im at week 3 from this infection. I was so poorly I convinced myself I had a stroke cause of the vertigo and other symptoms- went to hospital and was clear.

ive struggled with things health wise since my LO was born. I’ve been told I’m burned out and exhausted and need a lot of rest.

I feel like a terrible mum. My parents care for my LO so much more than I feel comfortable with and I feel like a waste of space cause I can’t snap out of the exhaustion. I was getting there - 80% normal again after a slow steady slump and this further infection has made me feel hopeless.

my symptoms are severe brain fog, derealisation, weakness, dizziness, exhaustion. I think 70% is due to this second infection when I’d not got over the first one.

is anyone else struggling to get over Covid as much as me? I feel so ostracised and sick of the comments from other mums that I just need to get out and socialise. Of course I want to do that - when I feel well I do - a lot. But struggling to even walk to bathroom and back with this recent infection.

I had the same symptoms in the summer of 2020. Paramedics checked me for a stroke, said I was fine, then left. Understandable given the situation in Italy at the time.

Except I wasn’t fine. Within days I ended up shoved in a CAT scan where little holes were found in my brain. Caused by small blood clots. At the time people were mostly focused on the cough and lung issues. But even back than it was proving to be a fucking thug on some people’s circulatory systems.

It took me another 8 months to get back on my feet properly. I still get the occasional balance/vertigo issue now. Vaccination and repeat infections all took turns to shove me hard back on my arse. Felt very one step forwards, two back for a while.

The better news is today I’m far fitter, stronger, better nourished, more rested, healthier in mind, body & soul than I was pre Covid era. It was a massive wake up call that I get one body, things beyond my control can break it, so I’d best keep it as well maintained as possible to increase my odds of hanging on to all parts of it working for as long as possible.

Big fat hug. Cos I haven’t forgotten how deeply frightened, exhausted and spinny I felt. Take it slowly. Small steps to improvement, like better diet (I can recommend sardines for breakfast if the idea doesn’t make you heave, was worth the distaste for the pay off) , better sleeping, a decent multi-vitamin wouldn’t hurt. Don’t wait for people to understand and be on your side. You have to do what works to get all of you back, no matter what they think the cause is. Which at the time upset me a lot, I felt very, very alone. But in retrospect, was the least of my problems. My mental health was shot to pieces, luckily focusing on improving the physical turned out to be a good place to start helping the mental side to heal.

And I cannot recommend fermenti lattici enough. If you can get the enterogermina brand where you are, go for it. I spent a good 20 years + on this side of the alps suspiciously eyeing up the obsession with chugging gut bacteria. But they turned out to be a real help in the early days when covid seemed to have fucked up every bit of me it could manage.

@AlienatedChildGrown i love you so much for this post and it’s raw honesty. I can sense how you felt and thank you so much for the hope.

when I went to hospital I told them I worked in stroke rehab so I may have been taken more seriously than if I hadn’t. I don’t usually say anything about it to other Healthcare people but I just wanted my brain scanned to oblivion. Thankfully my CAT and MRI were ok. So it’s ‘just’ Covid being a thug (love that term!)

You poor people is all I can say!
I thought I was struggling a few weeks after a nasty infection (and then getting hit with another) but in the grand scheme of things I’m doing fine. This thread is also super helpful.

@Cloxs If you want a buddy for “slower than I’d like” walk back to feeling like you used to, just post when and if needed. I’ve got the thread on my watch list.

Big fat hug. It sucks. And it sucks more that what little energy is available gets somewhat squandered due to developing the hump (made me cry, part sad, part furious) with people who’d like to magic it away with the implication it’s all in your head. Take it slow, because it will kick you hard in the arse if you try to rush it. But you will get the old you back.

My partner has had long covid since May 2020. Utterly debilitating and no end in sight. Life changing for both of us. I hope you get better OP.

Mild COVID infection can cause neuroinflammation, a possible explanation for brain fog. With your background in brain injury recovery this will be of interest to you. I did feel like I was recovering from a brain injury, the Headway list of cognitive and communication symptoms fitted with mine and those of a friend who had an actual brain injury, although mine were milder.

You probably can't read and take in papers right now, but the pictures illustrate the issue.

www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0092867422007255 www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0092867422007255]]

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0092867422007139

Bioavailable curcumin can cross the blood brain barrier and is a natural dietary supplement that can act against neuroinflammation without any serious adverse side effects.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8092919/#R26

I used it early on in my recovery when I was struggling with cognitive function issues and severe migraines and found it helped anecdotally.

I used this one, but it is cheaper from Amazon.

https://igennus.com/collections/curcumin

I have long covid but I am so grateful that my dc are older. I have no idea how you are coping with a young child. You are doing AMAZINGLY, whatever it is. It does sound post viral but getting thorough blood checks sounds wise. Good luck and know you are doing your very best. Xxx

@Cloxs I have never had covid but GP was concerned so ordered blood tests. Had blood taken yesterday. Today they texted me

Dear

Your blood results showed that your folic acid was a little low. I have issued a prescription for some tablets to correct this. Could you make an appointment after you finish them to recheck your bloods please.

So off I go to Google the symptoms. Sheesh, I ticked the boxes. I was stunned.

So please get some blood tests redone.

"Vitamin B12 & folate anaemia - Illnesses & conditions | NHS inform" https://www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/nutritional/vitamin-b12-or-folate-deficiency-anaemia

I've just had 2nd Covid and just can't get going again. Took child to park and didn't have energy to even watch let alone do anything. House a tip. It takes time to recover.

Thanks @justasking111 - I had a lot of bloods in hospital which were ok (I was terrified I had a stroke cause of the vertigo, hello health anxiety) GP is saying I have to pay privately for more cause they’ve done so many. Even working for the NHS gets you no NHS care.

thanks @Choconuttolata for taking th time to type this all out. I’m ok high dose cucurmin, also have tumeric in juices I make with ginger, high dose fish oil (good for brain injury) and lactoferrin amongst a load of other stuff! I use headway a lot for my patients (and worked there as well in a previous life). I agree that Covid does some weird stuff to the inflammation. Like I’ve felt like my brain is 4 sizes too big for my skull. Work have stopped believing me and that I could have Covid again - said it’s not possible. Again. Love the NHS and their understanding - when I’m getting better I’m out of there. Such a toxic workplace.

thanks everyone

Sorry to hear :( I can’t even get out the house at the mo so you’re doing well in comparison. It’s really affected my brain - I feel so spacey and detached. Dizzy too. Did you experience this? How far out from it are you? This was my third and pretty much back to back with my second 😣

I had teleopsia, where objects seemed further away than they were, as part of my early post-Covid symptomology. Along with migraines (that had a vestibular element) and vertigo caused by vestibular neuritis and labyrinthitis. It was very disorientating and I felt very spacey and detached. I also had dizziness caused by POTS which didn't help because I would get even dizzier when standing up. My brain felt like it was trying to push out of my skull at times due to the pressure in my head, and I know other people that also described the same symptoms. It is horrible.

There are some great podcasts on Long COVID, here are some covering brain fog, but listen in small bursts so you don't add to the cognitive fatigue.

https://www.tlcsessions.net/episodes/groggy-and-foggy-dr-sabina-brennan

https://www.tlcsessions.net/episodes/episode-56-clearing-the-fog-dr-jim-jackson

The next podcast features Dr Louise Cummings who has undertaken studies on the impact of Long COVID on language and cognition.

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1835170/9867028

Her paper/book chapters:

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2949903823000015#sec0015

https://scholar.google.com/scholar_lookup?title=Communication-related%20quality%20of%20life%20in%20adults%20with%20Long%20COVID&publication_year=2023&author=L.%20Cummings

https://scholar.google.com/scholar_lookup?title=Cognitive-linguistic%20difficulties%20in%20adults%20with%20Long%20COVID&publication_year=2023&author=L.%20Cummings

The beginning of this podcast also illustrates one nurses journey with cognitive and speech issues following COVID infection.

https://m.soundcloud.com/rcslt/long-covid-what-is-it-and-how-can-speech-and-language-therapists-support-people-living-with-it

PLEASE ignore the posters saying you just have health anxiety. If you like me had covid so badly that you were really ill, fatigue that was a killer, a lot of pain, heart problems, for months and months. Then having some anxiety over a new bout of it is completely understandable. I have worked hard to stay calm and practice meditation to deal with the worry. Only if you have had a severe illness like chronic fatigue would you know how it feels and the sheer terror at the thought of it striking again. Please take it as easy as you can, focus on sleep, good nutrition and give yourself much more time than you think
I am now very well, exercising and bursting with energy but it took a lot of time. If I'd listened to people doubting me, I would have pushed through and God knows where I'd be now

Echo a previous poster who suggested you look at POTs, which is one form of dysautonomia- there are some good websites and Facebook groups if you want more info. For me I think the birth of my second daughter triggered POTs - I had vertigo, mad adrenaline dumps, fatigue etc but it was just considered to be anxiety at the time. Then I got Covid a few years later and it made everything worse and I couldn't climb the stairs without my hr jumping to 130. My GP put me on a 48hr heart monitor and they finally believed I was actually unwell. I'm now two years on medication to control my hr and it helps all the other 'anxiety' like symptoms as well. I also do things to help stimulate my vagus nerve which might be one of the underlying causes...

Hormones also have a big part to play I think - vertigo is often triggered by loose crystals in your ear, and seems to be associated with women getting older. For me I had my first bout of vertigo after my second daughter when my hormones were all over the place. All of my symptoms have also been helped by HRT although I'm pretty young for perimenopause. Learn how to do the epley manoeuvre if you haven't already. Harmless but if the crystals are the source of your vertigo it can solve it immediately.

Omg I had this as well! I still do to some degree. Remind me @Choconuttolata are you ok now? Everything you described is my experience with Covid. Hoping it won’t be long haul.

And thanks re the POTs thing. I’ll check it out. I know quite a bit about it from work stuff - don’t think I have it but will speak to dr.

Multi vitamins with zinc magnesium
turmeric
ashwagghanda
b12
fresh air and nature
plenty of water
meditation

im no hippy but trust me it works. Your body is rife with spike proteins. If you’ve had the vaccine then you’ll have an overload of it.
google cytoceine storm. Lots of information out there

@Mumtothreegirlies ah thank you. I’ve got most of them in my system already so hopefully will heal soon! I know. The bloody Spike Protein! Such a bastard.

@Cloxs if you're a hayfever sufferer that might exacerbate your symptoms. My vertigo is back mildly because my sinuses and ears are affected this year.

My friend with long covid attending an outpatient clinic at the local hospital monthly. They were very helpful she said. More so than the GP

The cognitive stuff did improve over time, the migraines, vertigo and teleopsia took about 5-6 months to start improving with balance therapy and medication. I still get migraines which are hormonally triggered but I can manage them now. I returned to work at 1 year post infection but in a different role not with patients for six months. I now work part time back in my original patient facing role with adjusted hours arrangements. You need to speak to occupational health at your work and see if their are any staff support services for Long Covid. It can vary by area, but if you need educational materials for work so they understand Long Covid I can post them so let me know.

Pots UK is a good starting point re: POTS

You can do an active stand or NASA lean test at home.

https://www.potsuk.org/about-pots/what-is-pots/

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=batemanhornecenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/NASA-Lean-Test-Instructions-1.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwiwwtXFkf3_AhXZRkEAHSvoBi0QFnoECA4QAQ&usg=AOvVaw38lr6tAOG7JSyjlQjOI8-J

@Choconuttolata

thanks for the info. I did the test and it’s not suggesting I have POTs at the moment. I can try again in the morning.

im a bit tentative to call it long Covid yet - as I’ve had two back to back infections so just hoping it takes a few weeks to recover as was already run down as it is. Thanks though

I🤞 (and toes) that you won't be unwell still 4 weeks after your latest infection. I wouldn't wish Long Covid on anyone, but my offer of information materials will still stand if things don't improve as quickly as you and I both hope they will.

@Choconuttolatamany thanks. Seems to change from one week to the next the cut off time - 4 week, 12 weeks, I’m just gonna go with 12 weeks I think and worry after that x