Made a poor, expensive decision and feel such an idiot

[Discowings]

Just for context, I’m usually the most chilled out, in-control person ever. I run a successful business and have two happy kids that I’ve raised single-handedly.

I am going on holiday in the summer to visit some relatives and I have some clients near where my family live.

The plan was to go for the visit and for my kids to stay overnight with the family for 2 separate nights while I went for dinners with the clients. (I’m taking my kids away for the whole summer so they’ll have plenty of quality time with me).

A few days back I had a really disturbing message from someone who is very mentally unwell, threatening me and the kids and making horrendous accusations about me. He’s no actual danger to us (he lives overseas) but it shook me to the core and I’ve been filled with anxiety ever since.

It shook me up so much though, that after another sleepless night last night, I ended up calling for the babysitter we use at home (the kids LOVE her) and asking if she fancied flying out for a few days, so she can stay with the kids in the hotel while I go to the meetings. The thought of not being with the kids before they went to bed, or having them stay away from me overnight, was shaking me up so much after these messages. It cost me an absolute fortune to buy her flight and a hotel room, but was a huge weight off my shoulders.

I’ve just called my relatives to tell them about the change of plan(I didn’t say why, I just said it was easier for my meeting schedule, which is also true). They were really disgruntled as they’d been looking forward to having the kids for the sleepover and had organised their spare room in preparation.

Over the next few hours, I then heard from both clients that they may need to potentially cancel the meetings anyway.

Now I just feel worse. I’ve pissed off my family, spent a whole ton of money (non-refundable) on flying the babysitter out, and the bloody meetings might not even go ahead. I feel so embarrassed.

I am usually the epitome of calm and organised. It’s so unlike me to make such a rash decision. I was just so overwhelmed with anxiety after those messages that I needed to take some control of the situation.

I have to now go and tell my disgruntled relatives and my lovely babysitter and my kids that I’ve spent a ton of money and messed everyone around, and it was probably all for nothing because my meetings might be cancelled.

Not really sure what my AIBU is. I just feel so silly and overwhelmed and so angry with myself.

Forgive yourself, OP. We’ve all done something similar at some point.

You don’t need to tell anyone anything, a simple ‘plans have changed outside of my control’ so I won’t need you after all to babysitter. Try and get credit note as others have said for flights / hotel. If you’re close to family then tell them - you don’t have to explain yourself - it’s your money you spent no one else’s.

You looked after yourself and the kids. It was costly but worth it. It needed to be done and decisions can’t be judged according to their merit retrospectively. I’d say well done for putting your mental health and the kids welfare above money. That’s what money’s for.

You were just protecting your family, don't beat yourself up over it. Should the clients cancel, go anyway and have a fab time, the babysitter can earn her keep while you have some adult time with your family.

And keep the paper trail - you can write off many of these expenses to taxes as legitimate business expenses. Not your fault the clients cancelled!

I’m so glad. I hope you have a great trip.

There is a 24 HR cooling off period for most flight companies?

You made the best decision for you in the circumstances. You don't need to apologize to anyone for anything.

If it's worth it you could see if you could get contacts with any new clients for that time.

Either way, do what suits you.

Enjoy the babysitting and go out for dinner. Arrange another night for your dc to have their sleepover and let it go op. We all make poor choices under stress. Have a lovely time away.

Oh OP, you’ve not made a stupid decision at all. You made a decision that was right at the point in time at which you made it.

The circumstances have somewhat changed, but you weren’t to know that.

If I were you, keep the babysitter and all of you can have a good time.

And just explain that the meetings have cancelled. No one can judge you for that.