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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask the restaurant to turn it down?

92 replies

DataNotLore · 03/07/2023 16:07

Went out for lunch on Saturday with an elderly relative who uses a hearing aid.

They've recently had surgery too so feeling a little fragile.

Restaurant was only about a third full and remained so.

The background music was so loud though. They couldn't hear the conversation and ended up turning their hearing aid off.

We left early. I found it barely tolerable too.

We had asked the restaurant to turn it down but they declined.

WIBU?

OP posts:
Freepo · 03/07/2023 17:36

I am another who cannot stand loud music in a restaurant, and I’m yet to come across someone who says they love loud music and being unable to hear others in a restaurant, and hate it when the music is sufficiently low to be able to have a conversation. I would be genuinely interested to hear from that perspective on this thread

Dinopawus · 03/07/2023 17:36

Dbank · 03/07/2023 16:40

Not unreasonable to ask.

I think the music is usually to keep the staff entertained, not the punters. If I wanted music with my meal I would have brought headphones!

I think this is often true. Especially when a middle of the road family chain is playing loud music that is unlikely to have been signed off by head office.

bellac11 · 03/07/2023 17:37

Im sure there are statistics or research or whateve that shows that the louder the music, the more people eat. Thats why restaurants do this, particularly chains, its all part of the design

EasterBreak · 03/07/2023 17:41

We ate somewhere recently where the restaurant had music playing but the kitchen (which we were sat next to) had different music blaring and the the kitchen door was left open. Was awful. I closed the door. They must know it's not nice to sit listening to.

kafkascastle · 03/07/2023 17:42

I had a local restaurant that does this. We were once the only people in and they still wouldn’t turn it down. They said it attracts customers. I’ve never been back and notice they closed down and reopened and still not doing well. Like other posters, I go to a restaurant to talk to my companions and not to listen to music. I’m much more likely to linger if the atmosphere was conducive to chatting and hearing people talk.

Kingsparkle · 03/07/2023 17:46

YANBU. You had an issue, you bought it to their attention at the time and they wouldn’t rectify it, so I think you are more than entitled to leave a review about it too.

I am with a PP, I’ve never known people to go to a restaurant because it’s loud music created a “vibe”. Bar yes, restaurant no.

bellac11 · 03/07/2023 17:51

EasterBreak · 03/07/2023 17:41

We ate somewhere recently where the restaurant had music playing but the kitchen (which we were sat next to) had different music blaring and the the kitchen door was left open. Was awful. I closed the door. They must know it's not nice to sit listening to.

This reminds me of a pub we visited once, a real oldy worldy pub that was in the good pub guide, we were in the middle of no where in the Lake District in winter and needed food. They had a telly on with 24/7 news and also music at the same time!!!

Dont people have any common sense for goodness sake? They did turn the tv off when I pointed it out but really, shouldnt have needed to be asked

callingeveryone · 03/07/2023 17:52

When a restaurant is full, the noise level even without music can be pretty loud.

callingeveryone · 03/07/2023 17:52

bellac11 · 03/07/2023 17:37

Im sure there are statistics or research or whateve that shows that the louder the music, the more people eat. Thats why restaurants do this, particularly chains, its all part of the design

That surprises me. I have not ordered dessert at loud places as I just want to go.

callingeveryone · 03/07/2023 17:54

Just googled it. People eat faster when there is loud music, so restaurants can turn tables quicker.

Makemyday99 · 03/07/2023 17:54

I cannot stand music in any venue for the public that is too loud. Sports shops seem to have ridiculously loud music, recently so much so that I had to shout at the assistant to ask for a size in shoes. YANBU at all

Kingsparkle · 03/07/2023 17:58

callingeveryone · 03/07/2023 17:54

Just googled it. People eat faster when there is loud music, so restaurants can turn tables quicker.

I doubt they can measure it but be interested to know if it damages repeat custom. So fine in a touristy area with lots of new faces but not good for longevity otherwise.

Wishitsnows · 03/07/2023 17:58

I really enjoy music in restaurants

Daisydu · 03/07/2023 17:59

Dryinginthesea · 03/07/2023 16:46

I worked at a restaurant and our music came from a system that was supplied by head office. We had no control over volume or the play list

Same where I work, it’s a bit of a pain to be honest!

Ceramiccathy · 03/07/2023 18:00

YANBU go ask but they’re also not unreasonable to refuse

Vintagejazzing · 03/07/2023 18:00

I've heard that restaurants do this because it encourages a quick turn over of tables. I can't think of any other reason, because I don't know anyone who actually enjoys it.
I agree with the poster re turning up the music after you've ordered and begun eating. It's really unfair and sneaky.

Vintagejazzing · 03/07/2023 18:02

Wishitsnows · 03/07/2023 17:58

I really enjoy music in restaurants

So do I when it's middle of the road stuff played at a background volume level.

But I don't want to listen to ear blasting thumpy thump music that I can't have a conversation over, and never go back to those restaurants.

callingeveryone · 03/07/2023 18:02

The turning up the music after you have ordered is obviously to get you to eat quickly and leave.

RampantIvy · 03/07/2023 18:09

People eat faster when there is loud music,

So that they can get out as soon as they can.

BogRollBOGOF · 03/07/2023 18:56

I remember a tedious extended family meal in a gastropub where the excessive music meant enduring a tedious couple of hours unable to join in conversation with everyone else at the table. The food was disappointing too, so not even that was particularly enjoyable.

It was pretty empty when we arrived, so it was hardly rushing anyone on to improve productivity. Taking orders and bringing the bill in a timely fashion is a more effective way of turning the tables over.

We did ask them to turn it down but apparently they couldn't 🙄

I'd love to say that I boycotted it, but the pure distance from home took care of that anyway.

"I love to go to go to a pub and ignore the company with me because of the blaring music" said no one ever.

Dinopawus · 03/07/2023 18:57

Yes - I wonder how it affects spend? I had understood that restaurants make their margin on drinks - in which case you'd want people to linger a while...

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 03/07/2023 19:04

God, I loathe this! We used to have an annual dinner with 2 couples we only really saw once a year. After a dreadfully noisy experience one year* - we literally had to shout across the table - when booking in future I would ask about noise and say we absolutely must have a reasonably quiet area.

*Particularly annoying, since I’d checked the restaurant one lunchtime - quiet enough - only to find that in the evening we were bombarded with blaring, thumping ‘music’ - if you can call it that…

Aquamarine1029 · 03/07/2023 19:07

I will turn around and find somewhere else to eat if the music is too loud in a restaurant. I absolutely hate it.

Mommasgotabrandnewbag · 03/07/2023 20:36

Loud music = talk less, eat faster pay quicker and leave so you can be replaced.

Awful service

PrideNails · 03/07/2023 20:45

callingeveryone · 03/07/2023 17:32

@PrideNails I have never known anyone attracted to a restaurant because it plays loud music.

@callingeveryone, well obviously my restaurant isn't a place you would go to. Its not just about the music, it's the whole aesthetic. Our place is very trendy, instagrammable, our target client are young professionals/parties/date night etc.