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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you lie on the internet?

77 replies

CherryLipgloss · 03/07/2023 08:33

I often see the phrase "everyone lies on Mumsnet / the internet", but personally I don't! I might alter the odd tiny detail (to make something easier to explain or less likely to be outing), but nothing that changes the sense of what I'm saying.

Of course I know there are trolls, but AIBU to think most posters are genuine?

Please vote for yourself (not what you think other people do).
YANBU I'm as honest as the day is long
YABU making up stuff is half the fun of posting anonymously

OP posts:
WetBandits · 03/07/2023 09:19

Nah, if I don’t want to be recognised, I just use my throwaway username!

tootesuite · 03/07/2023 09:22

I don't lie as such but I may conceal information.

For example, I often don't reveal my race because I find I get a different response when I do.

ISeeMisledPeople · 03/07/2023 09:26

I do lie on here - but I don't embellish or make up stories. I change details because I know people on here.

Purplepeaches123 · 03/07/2023 09:26

I don’t lie with what I’m saying but I change details a lot of my age, kids ages etc I name change all the time too especially if I know I’ve given too much away .

BeautifulWar · 03/07/2023 09:27

I don't lie, but then I don't really have much of a presence here. I only ever post sporadically, don't really have an agenda to push and I'm completely forgettable.

I can imagine how some people get drawn into creating an alter ego and an alternate life though, rather like catfishing. If people post enough that they then get 'known', I can imagine that would be quite addictive to certain personality types or people who are very unhappy in their real lives.

whumpthereitis · 03/07/2023 09:30

Some do, some don’t. Unless it’s really obvious then you just don’t know. I tend to just take everyone at face value tbh.

I personally don’t because 1, I don’t see the point, and 2, if I lied then I’d be obliged to remember what I lied about, and that just seems like it would be a pain in the arse and would require far more effort than I’d be prepared to put in for…what, exactly? I do fit some mumsnet stereotypes so I’m sure some people think I’m lying, but whatever 🤷🏻‍♀️

Original poster
CherryLipgloss · 03/07/2023 09:31

I'm happy to see that most posters are honest! Smile

OP posts:
Curseofthenation · 03/07/2023 09:31

I switch between DD and DS when I mention my child on here, bur otherwise I see no reason to lie. I think it would make me feel quite sad if I lied on here, as though my reality wasn't enough.

AnybodyAnywhere · 03/07/2023 09:33

I think I lie more in Real Life! I lie to get out of things I don’t want to do while trying to spare people’s feelings fairly often. I also lie by omission, especially about some very bad things that have happened to me that I don’t burden others with - or to be their gossip fodder!

I don’t lie on MN because nobody knows me so there’s no need and it’s quite therapeutic to be able to talk anonymously about things I wouldn’t mention otherwise.

Florissante · 03/07/2023 09:35

No, and I don't talk about myself much.

Lacoeur · 03/07/2023 09:40

No I don’t lie if anything I’m more honest about my feelings and thoughts on here than in real life because we are all anonymous. If I post I will try to take any identifying details out and have NC a few times but always truthful in my posts and responses. Who has the time and energy to be lying to strangers on a forum?!

Randomiser13 · 03/07/2023 09:41

GodisaBC · 03/07/2023 09:04

I don’t see the point of lying but I may say it’s about my great auntie Edith when it’s really about my brother’s pet hamster.

😂

For some reason this has really cracked me up. I think from now on every time I read a post I will wonder if it's actually about a hamster. 😁

I lie a lot about identifying details such as ages, sex and number of children or siblings or when or where something happened. Otherwise no, what would be the point of posting?

Tiredalwaystired · 03/07/2023 09:44

Yes.

But of course, that could be a lie.

GeraltsBathtub · 03/07/2023 09:45

I change minor details about my life so that in aggregate my posts aren’t outing if someone advance searched me but I don’t do wholesale lying, no.

ARareKindaBear · 03/07/2023 09:45

As if anyone is going to come on and say “oh yes, I lie all the time! Go check out my previous threads to see the absolute bullshit I’ve come up with over the years!”

OneTwoThreeShake · 03/07/2023 09:47

No. In all honesty I'm quite a lazy interneter and couldn't find the energy to think of lies.

But it's abundantly clear that many people do lie, and a lot on here are in that group.

AuntieStella · 03/07/2023 09:49

I'm in the middle.

I don't tell outright whoppers

I do alter (trivial) bits of information for the sake of making my posts less identifiable.

And I'm as guilty as the next person of bigging Stuff up

ThanksItHasPockets · 03/07/2023 09:50

I haven't voted because I don't fit in either of your categories. It's naive and foolish to be honest to a fault online if you are revealing identifying information about yourself. I am honest in spirit but when giving practical examples I will quite happily change details to make them less outing.

I do think there are some regulars on MN who are fantasists, but there are equally many people who can't imagine the lives that some people lead and it is tiresome to hear posters accused of lying if they write about being a high earner or having an expensive car.

MightEvenCallYouBaby · 03/07/2023 09:53

If people lie, why would they then answer honestly on this thread? 😅

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 03/07/2023 09:55

I switch out minor details so nobody can pin point who I am if it's a public forum (reddit/mumsnet) otherwise no. I don't have social media so no need to lie. Grin

Beginningless · 03/07/2023 09:58

I don’t lie at all. But I’m sure there will be people who enjoy a fantasy. I used to work on MH helplines and there were always ‘fake callers’ who had whole elaborate stories about their lives that turned out to be entirely fabricated. Some colleagues found it infuriating but I was mostly fascinated by the behaviour and saw it as a way to get their needs met. In psychological terms it could be called ‘miscuing’ like kids do on occasion, using an extreme behaviour to get a basic need met if they’ve found it difficult to communicate straightforwardly for whatever reason.

Oblomov23 · 03/07/2023 09:58

No. What's the point?

thimbbwebelr153 · 03/07/2023 10:00

I don't "lie" but I do change some details for privacy. I think most people do that

BadNomad · 03/07/2023 10:05

You need to have a good memory to be a good liar. That's usually the downfall for a lot of liars. Plus the arrogance to think other people are too stupid to realise.

I don't lie online. I just don't give identifying details or have any social media presence. I don't exist.

MileEndMaisie · 03/07/2023 10:09

MotherofGorgons · 03/07/2023 09:17

Don't lie but NC a lot and often change details. Say DD instead of DS. Change my profession. Etc.Because many friends use MN.

Same- I change details when they're not important to the subject (eg if asking advice on uni applications I'll say DD instead of DS or whatever, change my age by a couple of years if I mention it, not say exactly where I live). Might seem a bit paranoid but it's actually very easy to recognise people on here- a friend of mine is a regular poster who NCs a lot and I recognise her all the time, have to hide the threads as it's embarrassing- so anything to throw people off is a good idea.