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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Think friend has deleted me of what's app

49 replies

regustering · 02/07/2023 19:02

I messaged my friend the other day on what's app asking if she's seen the perinatal mental health team - we do talk about mental health and she's been good.

She responded back stating she spoke to them once and because she said she was good they discharged. She asked if everything was ok.

I responded back yes, just that they want to speak to me.

Since then she's no longer got a whats app pic but she's read my message.

She's never not had a pic.

AIBU I'm thinking she's no longer my friends

OP posts:
Redglitter · 02/07/2023 19:05

Can you see when she was last online. Have you sent a message since her photo disappeared. If you can see when she was last online, you're not blocked.

If you can't see that then you're really not going to know until next time you message her

RoseAndRose · 02/07/2023 19:06

If you look in a chat, next to the pic, there's their name, and under it there's some scrolling text, which starts "click here for contact info". What does it say after that?

tweener · 02/07/2023 19:07

Send a message. If it stays on one tick, that combined with no profile picture means you've been blocked.

Original poster
regustering · 02/07/2023 19:08

She's not blocked me but she's not been reading my status updates either :/

OP posts:
Original poster
regustering · 02/07/2023 19:23

Sent her a message, hopefully she will respond :/

OP posts:
FourFourOne · 02/07/2023 19:26

It sounds like she may have deleted you from her contacts.

I don’t get it though, the conversation you posted above seems really benign and nondescript. Is there some crazy backstory here which would explain her getting upset over this? 🤔

roses2 · 02/07/2023 19:30

I've done that before - accidently deleted contacts. If you're not blocked I wouldn't worry about it.

WeAreTheHeroes · 02/07/2023 19:32

Has she perhaps changed her phone and your details were saved to her phone not her SIM? Might be something on those lines.

veryfluffyfluff · 02/07/2023 19:36

I responded back yes, just that they want to speak to me. I'm confused- why do they want to speak to you about her?

Original poster
regustering · 02/07/2023 20:07

veryfluffyfluff · 02/07/2023 19:36

I responded back yes, just that they want to speak to me. I'm confused- why do they want to speak to you about her?

Perinatal team.

OP posts:
Original poster
regustering · 02/07/2023 20:08

She's read my message and not responded :/

Maybe things are going on in her life.

I can see her pic now.

OP posts:
scrantonelectriccity · 04/07/2023 08:52

Why would her perinatal team want to speak to her friend?

Iknowthis1 · 04/07/2023 08:57

Whenever she's got going on it's probably nothing to do with you. There was nothing offensive about your text. It could be as simple as she's got a new phone and is having trouble switching over.

Babsexxx · 04/07/2023 09:02

Yeah I think she has taken you off lord knows why the perinatal mh team would want to speak to you?! Even with my very best of friends I wouldn’t ever want a friend THAT involved to be discussing my mh with professionals?! Crazy! And not fair on her tbh.

Shes probably protecting herself from if things went sour between the two of you, you might say something to put her in a bad light! This is over stepping huge boundaries tbh I would of gotten rid of you too, far to much interference.

veryfluffyfluff · 04/07/2023 09:03

regustering · 02/07/2023 20:07

Perinatal team.

Show quote history

Yes I know that but why are they speaking to you about your friend?!

SonnySideDown · 04/07/2023 09:06

My guess is the OP is being seen by the perinatal team and asked her friend for advice as she has been seen by them too? Not that the OP is involved in her friends mental health issues.

Babsexxx · 04/07/2023 09:08

TBH op I think it’s highly irresponsible of the perinatal team too they should of considered all angles of a possible friendship breakdown not saying you would but potentially who you’d spout off to aswell about it so she must feel incredibly let down on all angles if I was her I’d be making a complaint for these reasons.

bumblebee2235 · 04/07/2023 09:14

I'm guessing she is pregnant and has some sort of mental health? Could just be a bit overloaded atm and need some time away.

I had hyperemesis and people would get funny when I was quiet online... but reading and messaging was last thing on my mind whilst I was stuck by the toilet or curled up whimpering on the sofa 😂

Scienceadvisory · 04/07/2023 09:14

Babsexxx · 04/07/2023 09:08

TBH op I think it’s highly irresponsible of the perinatal team too they should of considered all angles of a possible friendship breakdown not saying you would but potentially who you’d spout off to aswell about it so she must feel incredibly let down on all angles if I was her I’d be making a complaint for these reasons.

Surely its more likely the perinatal team are seeing the OP for her own health rather than speaking to her about her friend's health? And the OP was just seeking her friend's experience of dealing with them? Why would they want to talk to a patient's friend.

OddOne2023 · 04/07/2023 09:15

People are so caught up on this rubbish about people reading and not replying.
Not reading your status updates !? Isn't that a high school thing !!!

Turn off notifications and last seen. All your problems solved.

Moonlightdust · 04/07/2023 09:16

She may have just changed phones!

MrsRickAstley · 04/07/2023 09:18

So they want to speak to you about her ? Have I got that right ? Maybe she's struggling (obvs) and is paranoid they'll take the baby off her. By not communicating with you limits the chances of this happening?

Babsexxx · 04/07/2023 09:18

Absolutely madness but if you look at ops updates yes that’s exactly what’s going on the perinatal team are wanting to speak to her friend, I’d be absolutely livid by this and surely a friend doesn’t see someone anywhere near enough to be having a opinion on someone’s mh?! Just irresponsible as hell.

Scienceadvisory · 04/07/2023 09:19

regustering · 02/07/2023 19:08

She's not blocked me but she's not been reading my status updates either :/

I didn't realise there was a way to see who had been reading your status updates. Is it really that important? Surely it's not a direct message to her so she doesn't need to respond? Are you putting potentially troubling status updates? Like people who check in to hospital on fb in order to get loads of messages from their friends.

Workquestion11 · 04/07/2023 09:21

Scienceadvisory · 04/07/2023 09:14

Surely its more likely the perinatal team are seeing the OP for her own health rather than speaking to her about her friend's health? And the OP was just seeking her friend's experience of dealing with them? Why would they want to talk to a patient's friend.

Show quote history

That's how I took it as well but maybe the OPs friend took it like the posters and maybe why she isn't replying to Op

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