To feel this much dread at the thought of 2 days with my own child?

[Maeberegret]

Feel awful but don’t know wtf to do. I’m 39 weeks pregnant and really, really struggling with 2 yo. I didn’t think I’d struggle this much. I can’t get to the groups I’d normally go to, can’t get to the park or walk to feed ducks.

We can sort of muddle through the mornings but by 2 in the afternoon just so fed up.

I know more TV at a time like this isn’t the end of the world but he’s already watching too much and won’t just watch all day iyswim. And I think it’s affecting behaviour. Has anyone got any suggestions? Don’t know anyone who could get to us.

If you can’t physically take him out could you pay a babysitter to take him to the park or walk for a couple of hours every other day?

Or you could arrange a play date at home with one of his friends which will tire him out and then hope the parent invites him to theirs too.

So long as they are being supervised when they are using them and inaccessible when they are not then they are.

I don’t think he would go with a babysitter to be honest. He’s fine at nursery because he knows them but he would get very upset at someone he doesn’t know taking him out.

I can’t get to friends; I don’t feel massively safe driving in all but absolute emergencies.

See if you can find some help via Bubble or similar. Even if it's just an enthusiastic teenager to come and run around the garden with him for a few hours whilst you flop in a chair.

You're not supposed to do this on your own. You're heavily pregnant, this is when you call on your friends and family. They should be happy to help!
Can your mum come and stay a night? Your friend pop in and help amuse the toddler for a bit? Do you have a sibling who can bring you some shopping and moral support? You'll need this after baby is born too and it's good to ask.

I don’t have any family, sadly - it is hard going though.

Nursery will be good for you all.

Paddling pool in summer. See if you can get an outdoor playtable.

I found having a schedule in my head helped, as did mixing up the tedious bits with the nicer bits. Mix and match your own activities. I really liked having the radio on at that age.

1 get up and ready

1. outdoor time (walk, garden, treasure hunt)

1. PE (could just be Simon says)

1. Snack/picnic

1. Books

1. Art. Colouring/painting/collage/playdough

1. Garden

1. Picnic lunch

9 Bath play (just an example of mine, I know yours hates it)

10. Toys/imagination play

11. Baking

12. Help mummy do chores.

Been there. Feel so guilty about it now 😂 but it's hard!!!
Play date round yours?
I went out shopping very pregnant with my then 2 yo and it was a traumatic event! After that, I barely left the house

I would definitely book him into nursery if you can but just know that in an emergency you may have to pick him up.

And it would mean DH taking him and picking him up.

I would just try and get DH to do as much active stuff out of the house with him as possible in the mornings and evenings and so he doesn’t mind being at home with you all day.

I’d ask DH to pick up a load of paper, pencils, paints, chalks etc and anything that he can do.
I’d let him play with water outside and with the saucepans.

Don’t worry too much about the mess, especially if it’s outside as you and DH can always tidy once he’s in bed.

DH works too long hours to realistically do that unfortunately … it’s 7-7 so such a long day for me. I just hope there’s space at nursery.

I was here a few months ago with SPD and an 18 month old. With the newborn I’ve been sitting in the garden blowing bubbles for the toddler and playing ‘fetch’ with a ball whilst breastfeeding - the garden is the trick - more energy spent there = better naps and less energy to spend trashing the indoors

I love the idea of freezing dinos for them to chip out!
With mine I guess we do a bit of reading, a bit of walking, a long bath, a bit of building with duplo, some tv, some lunch, let her do my hair, bounce on the bed (not me!), watch music videos and bang along to them...
It is hard. I go to groups for her not me as I flipping hate them! Not interested in any of the other mothers and the activities are tedious.

Try Miss Linky on YouTube - put it up on the Tele. Educational type exercise videos they can dance along to. They are great at stopping the guilt of it being screen time and they wear themselves out!

I can't remember if 2 year olds still put stuff in their mouths but if not, buy some glow sticks off Amazon, make the room dark and have a glow stick party. My 5 year old dances for about 10 mins then spends an hour playing the glow sticks! I also did put my then 4 year old in nursery for the extra day for the last 6 weeks of my second pregnancy, I just needed the rest time! Good luck xxx

I don't know why anyone has babies or toddlers. I would have liked to crypo freeze mine and get them out at 4, maybe 5.
Sorry, we don't have the technology yet.

Sympathies OP. Agree that it gets easier when the baby is here. There are some good suggestions here! When I was in your shoes I would make a theme for the day - say, cars/vehicles. I would get all the cars out the night before, a book with cars in, any stickers we had. We would do races, build a track out of tape on the floor, do some drawing and stickers, get the kinetic sand out in a little tray and see what marks the tyres made, wash the cars at the "car wash" (sink), read the book etc. Then try to get DC to chill on the sofa and watch the Cars movie! Repeat the next day with an animal theme 🙈 and on and on!

Does your husband work weekends too? If not, I hope he is taking your toddler so you can get plenty of rest.

At this stage I vividly remember crying in the car park of McDonalds, very very pregnant with number 2, with 2yo DS eating chips in his car seat

we had no kitchen/living room for 8 weeks because we were getting building work done. It was supposed to take a fortnight and in the end was completed the day before I gave birth to number 2. We had incredibly heavy snow with a massive hole in the side of the house, and DH got snowed in abroad. I couldn't even get the front door open. Just DS and me snowed into a freezing house with no kitchen. As soon as it thawed enough I drove to McDonald's and cried and regretted all of my life choices.

Special memories 😂 good luck OP. It's not long now, baby no2 will be here before you know it and you'll have lovely snuggles. It's all worth it.

Can your partner work from home or reduce/rejig his hours?

I would also throw money at garden play instead of extra days at nursery.

Sand pit
water play tables
mud kitchen
small toddler size climbing frame
small side
ride on cars

Its not just 2 weeks, but ideally they would entertain him all summer with new baby also.

Get a double pram

I think one of the problems is he’s pretty clingy generally at the moment, he does have loads of garden toys and activities but still it’s a long few hours at times!

DH is pretty good to be honest, it’s just those two days that are tricky and I didn’t predict I’d be in this much discomfort.

Am sorry OP but I genuinely don’t understand why you cannot go out . Strap him in buggy and go for a walk , arrange to meet another mum in park who can help get toddler back in buggy , I really would have gone nuts if I didn’t go out and toddler would be so bored !

Sorry just seen you have discomfort.X

It did get pretty dangerous tbh @Kiwiandstrawberries . He is normally fairly well behaved but he was tired on Thursday and ran away from me on a car park as I was trying to put him in a car. I was very lucky that a lovely lady helped me, otherwise it could have been awful. But I’m also experiencing diarrhoea a lot, so I really am struggling to be out.

I’d throw some money at the problem (if that’s possible?)
Could you find a student home for the summer who wants a mothers help job for the summer? Or maybe someone from nursery looking to earn a bit extra?
Will be handy to have someone to take him to the park once new baby here?

Mine are very close in age, it was challenging at times. I’d happily never talk to a child under 5 ever again…They’re great fun now they’re teenagers though!