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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel this much dread at the thought of 2 days with my own child?

69 replies

Maeberegret · 02/07/2023 17:40

Feel awful but don’t know wtf to do. I’m 39 weeks pregnant and really, really struggling with 2 yo. I didn’t think I’d struggle this much. I can’t get to the groups I’d normally go to, can’t get to the park or walk to feed ducks.

We can sort of muddle through the mornings but by 2 in the afternoon just so fed up.

I know more TV at a time like this isn’t the end of the world but he’s already watching too much and won’t just watch all day iyswim. And I think it’s affecting behaviour. Has anyone got any suggestions? Don’t know anyone who could get to us.

OP posts:
eggsbenedict23 · 02/07/2023 17:42

Read a book? Online course? Call friends?
What is your DP doing?

FuckOffTom · 02/07/2023 17:43

Definitely not unreasonable- I used to struggle so much spending time with DS at that age and I wasn’t even pregnant at the time!
It’s not like you can chuck them in the soft play at that age and sit and drink a coffee. You have to watch them all the time. Nobody ever says it but god parenting a toddler can be dull 😂

OhmygodDont · 02/07/2023 17:43

Freeze dinosaurs and such for him to break out. Bubble machine in the garden. Make mud pies in the garden. Order in some seeds and get him to plant them. Make musical instruments from rubbish, rice or stones in a bottle, string and boxes, drums on empty butter tubs.

creativeusername23 · 02/07/2023 17:45

I can’t offer much advice as currently in a massive rut and feeling much the same being on mat leave with a 3 year old and a 5 month old.

Can you get your 2 YO into nursery or anything to give you a bit of a break? It also helps when baby arrives so you have days where you just need to focus on baby.
Are there any activities you can do that don’t involve much from you? Sticker books/drawing or crafts that you can just set them away with?

OhmygodDont · 02/07/2023 17:45

Rock painting. When watching tv put on something his interested in do if he loves the sea but on child Friendly documentary’s about sea life.

eggsbenedict23 · 02/07/2023 17:45

Sorry I misunderstood the question. What to do with your 2yo.

PuttingDownRoots · 02/07/2023 17:45

Put dance music on the TV through YouTube and let him have a little disco.

VivaVivaa · 02/07/2023 17:46

Depends why you can’t get out. I’m in same boat - 38 weeks with a 3 yo. On none nursery days next week I plan on decanting to a toddler group or soft play as I genuinely find it easier than trying to parent all day at home alone. I’m just really tired and uncomfortable though - obviously if you are riddled with SPD or sciatica or something like that it might not be physically possible. In this case I think you don’t really have much option then a lot of tv time really, interspersed with as much play or reading as you can muster then energy for.

Maeberegret · 02/07/2023 17:47

I did wonder @eggsbenedict23 😂

Thanks to others! @FuckOffTom you’re not wrong … toddler groups and getting out of the house normally keep me sane but I just can’t.

I am considering asking nursery if I can book him in two extra days this week (he already attends three days a week, which is why I feel a bit ridiculous!) but everything is just so hard right now.

OP posts:
eggsbenedict23 · 02/07/2023 17:48

@VivaVivaa is your 3 yo excited to meet their baby brother/sister?

Maeberegret · 02/07/2023 17:49

@VivaVivaa I’m just not able to safely get him there and back, and ensure he comes
to no harm. I did take him last week and there is a park right next to the group we go to so he hared off after the group obviously expecting all to be the same. I couldn’t get after him to bring him back so ended up on the park and it was a nightmare.

OP posts:
Wintry57 · 02/07/2023 17:50

Slime? (Cornflour and water is the most basic). Messy…fairy liquid/washing up liquid in a tray with a straw for blowing bubbles into.

obstacle course with cushions, pillows, jump from spot to spot.

Help mummy re stack all the tins and packets in the cupboard

FourTeaFallOut · 02/07/2023 17:51

I was a complete mess looking after my almost two years old in the last two weeks of pregnancy. I use to lay on the bedroom floor on an afternoon and put out the train tracks for ds1 to build around me and count the minutes until dh came home. If it's any consolation, I found it much easier having a newborn and a toddler.

eggsbenedict23 · 02/07/2023 17:53

@Maeberegret same question to you. What does your 2yo know about what's in "mummy's tummy?"

My idea could maybe be reading the 2yo stories (like fairy tale kind of stories)

Maeberegret · 02/07/2023 17:54

He enjoys reading stories before bed but he doesn’t really want to sit and read much during the day (and he has to choose the book!)

OP posts:
BHRK · 02/07/2023 17:56

Throw money at the problem if you can .. new toys for the garden, new toys in general. Let him watch TV )it’s probably not affecting behaviour). Beg people to take him for a walk for you.
this stage of pregnancy is hell

VivaVivaa · 02/07/2023 17:56

eggsbenedict23 · 02/07/2023 17:48

@VivaVivaa is your 3 yo excited to meet their baby brother/sister?

Erm, as much as a 3 yo can be about something completely theoretical until it actually happens I guess? He liked looking at the baby toys and clothes when we got them down, doesn’t seem to perturbed (yet!)

ANewAdventure · 02/07/2023 18:00

Does he like water? Mine would “wash up” at the sink for ages at that age. Put some towels down, chair at the sink, various plastic stuff and some sponges.

Going out: pushchair. And snacks for bribery to stay in the pushchair. If you’re out of the habit of using the pushchair I’d personally recommend you attempt to get back in to it as it’s so much easier to have the toddler contained once you have a baby to juggle.

New toys. Puzzles, magic painting books? Black bin bags full of paw patrol crap off marketplace? There’s little more attractive than “new” (apart from “forbidden” of course!).

SheWontSheCantShesLeft · 02/07/2023 18:02

Have you got Duplo? If not, then get loads. Play with him to start with then retreat to sofa.

As a general tactic, starting to play with them, often gets kids engrossed in a task. So crayons and scrap paper at table. Sit down and do with him for twenty minutes. Retreat - he might then carry on playing by himself or not, but either way, you can feel less guilty putting tv on afterwards.

maybe try playing audio books to him while he plays - he may get engrossed and play longer.

Anothermam · 02/07/2023 18:03

Do you have a garden? Get on amazon and buy a paddling pool if so. Got me through many days of lockdown with a 3 year old!

itsgettingweird · 02/07/2023 18:03

Stuck him in a bath with some toys.

Or a paddling pool in the garden if it's warm where you are (it's got chillier here the past few days)

Then lay back and enjoy hearing the sequels of delight.

Unless you have a toddler who doesn't enjoy splashing for hours!

Maeberegret · 02/07/2023 18:06

There’s no way I’d be able to get him back into the pushchair once out. We are stuck at home!

He will play with water but makes such an unholy bloody mess … plus he is awkward about baths at the moment, doesn’t massively enjoy them. He just tolerates them for his evening bath with bribery.

OP posts:
SparkyBlue · 02/07/2023 18:06

This is the absolute worst stage OP. You'll actually find it so much better once the baby arrives.

Maeberegret · 02/07/2023 18:08

I really hope so - if nothing else, he’s booked into nursery for a full week for the week of my due date and DH will be around and able to help. It’s just a nightmare trying to meet his needs when I feel so crap myself!

OP posts:
eggsbenedict23 · 02/07/2023 18:10

Are paddling pools safe?

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