Crop top for 9 year old?

[user1469094475]

I bought my daughter some crop tops recently to wear under her clothes. They're brightly coloured with wide straps and don't remotely resemble a bra, IMO. She's coming to the end of Year 4 and has recently had lessons on puberty in school.

I've heard through my daughter that her father (we're separated) thinks she's far too young and that crop tops are unnecessary and inappropriate. He's letting her wear them anyway but he's been commenting negatively about it.

Today I spoke to him about it to explain that IMO, this is precisely the correct age for crop tops (if she wants to wear them - she doesn't have to). He said it should not be until secondary school, when she is developing. IMO that's far too late as the whole point is to normalise the idea of growing up and to prepare her for wearing bras. When she's developing, she'll need bras, not just crop tops.

He didn't seem to agree but just said he'll let her wear them 'because you say so'. I asked him not to make disparaging comments because it's making a big deal about something that is simply an age appropriate item of clothing, not much different than out 6 year old preferring to wear trunks now rather than briefs.

AIBU?

Mine doesn't wear them (yr6 -11) she has some, she also has bras but chooses not to wear. I do think the getting used to wearing a bra is odd, it should be child led and I get the feeling this isn't. I prefer not to wear though so mine isn't really seeing it normalised, I will wear if the outfit requires it but not day to day (I'm DD, on the older side so should be sagging but I'm not) I just don't think it's good to say you have to wear this specific item of clothing

My 10yo has been wearing one for months... especially under the thin white school blouses! She has a more supportive ones for sports even though there isn't anything really to support (partly because they sometimes need to change tops and she definitely doesn't want to be topless on the side of the field!!)
My now 12yo first asked for them in Yr4... it was changing for PE in the classroom that prompted it.
Its a perfectly normal piece of clothing for that age group.

Some girls are fully developed by end of Primary school.

I'm with you OP. My DD asked for crop tops because she could see her darkening nipples through her white school t-shirt. Of course I bought them for her and she wears them. It's not just for support of breast tissue. In those cases a bra would be necessary.

I wouldn't dream of telling DD she 'has to' wear anything - school uniform notwithstanding! - but I do think it's important to offer her the choice. My mum bought me crop tops around 9-10 and I was very relieved not to be the odd one out at PE.

I also think it's important to be up front about the changes that will happen during puberty so she's not taken by surprise when they happen. This is what I mean by 'normalise'. Not just for DD herself, who if she takes after me may not develop or get her period until much later on, but also so she understands that people experience these changes at different points and it's perfectly normal for there to be big differences between classmates, some of whom might start getting breasts and having periods soon, others of whom might not until much later. I've shown her where I keep my sanitary pads, for example, and she's taken a couple for her school bag so that even if she doesn't need them for a good while yet, she'll be able to help out if a friend gets caught out unexpectedly.

10 yo DD is pretty developed and is ina 32b training bra.

She wore crop tops from about 7

It's in the Daily Mail now

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-12259209/My-ex-partner-thinks-nine-year-old-daughter-young-wear-crop-tops.html

My 9 year old is in training bras. She was in crop tops however she has grown and they weren't supporting her. Age is irrelevant really.

Ew. Even being featured in it isn't enough to make me click on a Daily Mail link.

If there's no development why wear a crop top?