Son been split from best friend at school.

[MadammeGazelle]

Long story short, DC is in year1. The classes always get split for the next year and DC has been split from their best friend. Admittedly DC plays in a group but the actual BF is going to another class.

I'm wondering why this has happened and AIBU to be annoyed?

I would speak to the school and see what they have to say and if there is very valid logic behind the decision.

If it involves another child, they won't be able to say.

When my daughter was in reception she made lovely friends with ELEVEN children.

In year one she was put in the opposite class to ALL of them.

I was really upset for her, but do you know what? She was FINE. She carried on playing with some of the old friends, a few fell by the wayside and she made new ones (one of the “new” ones is still her bestie a decade later).

I totally get your concerns but this will be ok. Take it from an old mum that’s been there.

I do not believe that schools always get this right. Children do not learn resilience by being put in difficult situations and they do not learn to make friends by having their friendships disrupted. They learn confidence from attachment and security.

I would have really upset if this had happened to any of my children at this stage or even later on during primary school and would probably say something despite this being something I almost never do at school. Friends have always made school for my children and I have placed this far above academic progress and for me unless there is a behaviour issues I don’t see why they should be separated and would not accept them being easy to slot in as an excuse as that makes being well behaved etc almost a negative! I know my children and for them being separated would be a negative thing and I don’t think they need to become resilient in preparation for life, they should just be happy at school. They love their school friends at school, we enjoy school social things together with them all and things outside of school and it all comes together as they are friends from their class.

I know that’s different to most responses here but hey! 😆

My DD was separated from her best friend Y2 to Y3. It was such a shame as it was a great friendship for both of them. They weren't in the same class again until...Y7, when they went to save secondary school! They stayed good friends throughout primary, and are now very much best friends again in a lovely group. In Y9 now, and it's actually my dream friend group for her, couldn't ask for better.

Now I’ve had a few years experience of friends being separated for the new school year this doesn’t concern me like it used to do when my youngest started school. I may be naive, but now genuinely believe that teachers do have good reason for mixing up the classes.
This coming school year I’ve got one moving from the 2 class nursery into the 2 class reception and there have been a lot of changes in the way classes have been arranged. Several of the little friendship groups have been split up.
At the talk for parents the head teacher made it absolutely clear that the teaching staff had given a huge amount of thought to the way the two classes had been organised and asked that as parents we respected their judgement. She put it very nicely but made absolutely clear that any request to change would not be entertained!

Ignore all the idiots making out like there's a problem with you having empathy for your DS.

Some people on this site just like to argue.

Of course it's natural that our DS wants to be with his friend, and it's a shame he's not.

Have you asked if it's possible to change classes? It can't hurt to ask.

I got DD's class changed.

This happened to my son at the end of Y1, and it was a bit shit because realistically it does affect the friendship. The line is "They can see each other at lunch and in the yard", but of course they are matched to lunch in their separate classes, and then if they ditch their new friends the minute they hit the yard that won't help establish new friendships. Anyway they both made new friends, and are now probably about to be split apart from them this summer...I wouldn't mind if it was truly random but some friendships seem to be protected more than others.

I can see it needs to be done to balance out the three classes, and also to split up problem groups, but I can't say it has been amazing for DS. Not the end of the world though.

DDs friend has destroyed personal items belonging to DD and has calles her names (according to DD). Everyone percieves them as besties so DD thinks this is her best mate and is getting a skewed idea of what friendship should be.

@youcandanceifyouwanna how did the teacher react to this? Have they not noticed this behaviour already in class?