Son been split from best friend at school.

[MadammeGazelle]

Long story short, DC is in year1. The classes always get split for the next year and DC has been split from their best friend. Admittedly DC plays in a group but the actual BF is going to another class.

I'm wondering why this has happened and AIBU to be annoyed?

'How exciting, you'll have the opportunity to make new friends in lessons in the new class, and you'll still be able to play with BF at break times' was my response.

Slightly different, but me and my best friend were put in the same class when moving from junior to secondary school.

My sister was put in a different class from her best friend and I think that was because they were a bad influence on each other.

Good. Intense friendships age 6 are not good. They should be mixing with a lot of different children. If the friendship is meant to last the distance, it will do.

Yes they did this to my DD and her best friend. It really spoiled her enjoyment of school to be honest. I really am not at all concerned about academics at primary level and think they should just be happy and not put off school/learning as the top priority. When they reunited in year 2 it wasn't the same as DD had made a new friend and then and after they've been an awkward threesome with constant spats. They are so little in year R and 1 it's absolute bullshit that separating them from their security of a new, good friend, if they've succeeded at making one, (when they've just been separated from their security of home) is going to benefit them be making them resilient etc. It's like, well done, 6 year old, you've managed to navigate being shoved into an unfamiliar environment with a load of strangers, let's see what new problems we can create! I think they should be trying to keep friends together at that stage for their emotional security and happiness.

This happened to DS1 in YR last year. I was unimpressed to say the least. DS was split from pretty much all his friends. I did complain and the school admitted because DS played with a wide range of kids he was easy to 'slot in anywhere'. I was very unhappy with this response. To their credit they apologised and promised his transition to Y2 would be fairer.

I have just been told about his new class and he is with the friends he requested. It might be worth a friendly chat.

This. I'd be over the moon if my 6 year old was in a different class to her BF.

You really need to take this as an opportunity to build not only your son’s resilience, but also your own. Spending your Sunday morning so shocked that you have to post about it online over such a small and commonplace situation isn’t normal.

Apart from all the reasons listed above, it could be a case that the friend’s parents requested that they were separated if they felt the relationship was too intense/not beneficial for their son.

They could have tried as far as we know, but there have been plenty of reasons given in this thread as to why it won't always work out.

Yes, I realise this and it's consumed me a bit and reading all the replies on here has brought things into perspective, so thank you everyone for replying and giving me an insight as to how things really are.

I'm learning everyday, it's not just the kids ☺️

This is one reason we chose a single form entry school. That said I'm sure he will be fine OP, they can still play together etc and it helps expand their friendship groups.

The fact is you have no control over it. Teacher might decide this fit all sorts of reasons. Rarely will they change it.

Our school mix every year. We often separate ‘best friends’, when their friendship causes daily problems. Unfortunately, best friends frequently fall out and that’s when it makes everyone’s life more difficult.

We always make sure they are with another friend.

The fact that he never spoke to those children is hardly a fact the secondary school would be aware of to be fair.

I never said it was, the thing is they used to make sure they were in the same form as one of their friends but they don't bother anymore and they all just have to get on with it and make new friends

When its your first child, these things are very new.

Remember children often take their lead from you, so be very positive.

They will see each other at break times and maybe at the park or play dates.

They will make new friends.

Similarly with not being invited to everything.

We can be sympathetic but cheerful.

It really helps them to be positive about change.

Well done for posting.

My son's school has done this.
My son has had a small group of friends for 5 years, for 5 years they've been together
And now my son is the only one to be in a different class.
He is understandably nervous about going to school after the summer.. I think I'll have a school refuser on my hands

I don't see why it's wrong for the OP to be upset about them being separated, but it's ok for other parents to request that certain kids are separated? Either it's left to the teacher's discretion or it isn't.

Unless there is bullying or disruptive behaviour, parents should leave the decisions to teachers who should use their professionalism and discretion to make the right choices/get the right balance. They can't please everyone but leaving one child out of a group, for example, really isn't ideal. And while some parents have valid reasons for wanting their DCs kept away from certain kids, sometimes their intentions aren't always honourable and they don't want their kid being tainted by association with what they see as the "weird kid" or one from the "wrong sort of background".

YANBU
I would speak to the school and see what they have to say and if there is very valid logic behind the decision.

There might not be and it could be an oversight on their part.

In which case I would ask them to rectify it.

Our primary school (3 form entry) didn't shuffle DD's year at any point, and I think they should have done. The classes were not academically balanced, and there were various friendship issues that could have been solved by a careful shuffle at some point. DD was actually part of a friendship group that spanned all three classes - it's not that I think they should all have been together, but one in particular was quite isolated in her class, having joined the school late and not managed to break into the friendship groups in that class.

My son was split from his best friend for p1 but they have been together since then (now p5) they just used to wait for each other at lunch and break time. They don't get to sit together in class anyway probably because they do chat a lot. They probably were over reliant on each other but they have other friends as well. I was a bit miffed at first but I think it did them good. Don't worry, I think it will be fine

I've actually asked for my DD and 'best friend' to be separated. DD, her friend and friends parents have no idea I've asked for this, but I think it's the right thing fof DD. I wouldn't have asked at reception age but as they get older sometimes it's for the best.

Can I ask why? Also, are you friends with the parents?

Oh, I've been there many times, and I remember the angst well. 1 of my kids seemed to draw the short straw every term and be in a different class to all his friends. 1st week or so in September was always a bit 5 they soon settle and make new friends while still meeting up with their 'group ' at break. He'll be OK Op

This is why we chose a single form intake. I struggled in primary to make friends and then every year i was separated from those friends. Felt like I was starting again every year. Hated school as a result.

^^^A bit rough !. Not sure where the 5 came from