Page 3 | To hot have let them in

AsLongAsIHaveMyTea · 2023-07-02T06:37:23+00:00

We have just moved into our new house and redecorated. I had invited some of our friends around for a drink and they turned up with their excitable young dog. We don’t have a dog and I don’t want one running around my new house. The garden isn’t secure so leaving him in the garden wouldn’t be an option. I love animals but I really didn’t want him crashing into things in the house and stealing shoes and chewing the rugs (all things I know he does and did in our previous house before and things that our friends get frustrated with at their own house). Was I unreasonable to say very politely that they would have to go and drop the dog back home before coming in? They got a bit upset and never came in for a drink.

YeahIsaidit · 02/07/2023 10:02

user1492757084 · 02/07/2023 09:59

You were very reasonable.
Maybe if you want tjhose friends to visit, because of not having a fence, you would like to set up a dog cage with kennel/bed and a water bowl in which visiting guests could lock their pet.
Did they not have a lead?
What do they do at the shops?

Why should OP go to the expense of getting these things for a dog she doesn't have to accommodate entitled people who think they have the right to bring their dog everywhere they go?!

Nugg · 02/07/2023 10:03

Absolutely not unreasonable. I have a lovely well behaved little dog. I'd never ever take her to visit anyone unless they asked me to bring her along or I'd checked first. If they say no, I'd never take offence and also have people I know to never take her to.

Natty13 · 02/07/2023 10:22

Hang on - the dog had visited your old house enough for you to know all its bad behaviour. Did you tell them beforehand that you didn't want the dog brought to your freshly decorated new place? If not, of course they would have assumed they could bring it since that was the status quo.

ErmWhatever · 02/07/2023 11:20

Allwelcone · 02/07/2023 08:03

I personally would have let them in regardless of the consequences. Its more polite imo even if yes they should have asked.
Man made stuff as in decor shouldn't trump generosity of spirit.
Even if maybe you understandibly weren't feeling generous best to behave like you are.

Fuck That.

Hibiscrubbed · 02/07/2023 11:23

Rocking up with a dog, especially to someone’s new home with a dog that causes damage, is peak entitlement. Why would you do that? And I have three dogs! It’s just mad behaviour…

…that my inlaws do all the fucking time. (A non-housetrained young dog. A non-housetrained young dog that that don’t clean up after) And then just leave said destructive pissy dog in my house, barking and whining and destroying things while I am working at home, to the point I come down to discover carnage. It’s just people who know they can’t leave them at home.

Inlaws tried to take their dog in to the theatre. No joke. They were met with incredulity, understandably. 😂

Hibiscrubbed · 02/07/2023 11:25

Allwelcone · 02/07/2023 08:03

I personally would have let them in regardless of the consequences. Its more polite imo even if yes they should have asked.
Man made stuff as in decor shouldn't trump generosity of spirit.
Even if maybe you understandibly weren't feeling generous best to behave like you are.

Fuck that noise. My ‘man made stuff’ cost me dollar, I’m not letting some entitled berks fuck it up in the interest of goodwill being a sappy people pleaser

Original poster

AsLongAsIHaveMyTea · 02/07/2023 11:59

Thank you everyone for your replies. I did let the dog into the old house once although I was rather put on the spot that day. But as the dog chewed the carpet and generally caused a lot of chaos I presumed they wouldn’t bring him again! I maybe should have been specific when I invited them over

OP posts:

Original poster

AsLongAsIHaveMyTea · 02/07/2023 12:01

Just to add they couldn’t sit in the garden with the dog on the lead as it is so strong they can’t hold it and he ends up sort of thrashing around on the lead around the table and chairs knocking everything over

OP posts:

billy1966 · 02/07/2023 12:02

YANBU.

Rude CF's.

Not a chance would that dog be allowed in here.

So what if they are upset?

CF's.

Hoppinggreen · 02/07/2023 12:04

I don’t blame you for not wanting a dog in your house but if your friends always used to visit with their dog it might not occur to them that they can’t now.

KarmaStar · 02/07/2023 12:05

Ok are reading this as if your df had never taken the dog to your home before.
they had and you hadn't said the rules had changed so yabu and I can see why they are upset with you .
the dog could have remained on a lead laying down.
true friendship is putting people first,above furnishings.things don't matter,people do.

KarmaStar · 02/07/2023 12:05

Op not ok

SoupDragon · 02/07/2023 12:07

true friendship is putting people first

a dog is not a person

Original poster

AsLongAsIHaveMyTea · 02/07/2023 12:07

Karma - the dog unfortunately doesn’t sit down quietly as I mentioned above but yes I agree I should have made it clear that he wasn’t invited. I had just presumed that after the last time in my old house where my possessions were damaged and no one could sit down or relax that they wouldn’t bring him

OP posts:

Debinaround · 02/07/2023 12:24

KarmaStar · 02/07/2023 12:05

Ok are reading this as if your df had never taken the dog to your home before.
they had and you hadn't said the rules had changed so yabu and I can see why they are upset with you .
the dog could have remained on a lead laying down.
true friendship is putting people first,above furnishings.things don't matter,people do.

I don't understand this. I have a vase that my nana gave me as a wedding present. She died 10 years ago. If someone brought a dog into my home and it knocked it over and broke it I would be gutted. I could never get that back.

DH bought a rug when we redecorated, he loves it. It was a lot of money (to us) and with the COL we can't afford another one. If someone's dog chewed it he would be gutted.

My mam wrote me a letter before she died. If the dog ate it I would be absolutely heartbroken. I could never replace it.

Things are not just stuff. They are important to people. You have no idea what the OP has in her house that is precious to her and can never be replaced.

YANBU OP.

MsRosley · 02/07/2023 12:43

AsLongAsIHaveMyTea · 02/07/2023 12:07

Karma - the dog unfortunately doesn’t sit down quietly as I mentioned above but yes I agree I should have made it clear that he wasn’t invited. I had just presumed that after the last time in my old house where my possessions were damaged and no one could sit down or relax that they wouldn’t bring him

Not an unreasonable assumption, OP. Some people have skins as thick as rhinos, don't they? I bet they didn't offer to pay for the damage or replace any of it either.

You're honestly best off without people like this in your life.

Nanny0gg · 02/07/2023 12:55

EliflurtleTripanInfinite · 02/07/2023 08:52

This is how it reads to me too. If you previously let the dog in even grudgingly, I'd never do it, but it's not unreasonable of them to think it'll be the same as normal. Knowing they usually bought the dog I would have said that the dog couldn't come in and the garden isn't secure so they'd need to leave them at home.

Show quote history

They are in their NEW house which they have decorated and presumably spent a shedload of money on.
The dog is destructive.

The garden also isn't secure.

They were perfectly entitled not to want their new home trashed

Nanny0gg · 02/07/2023 12:56

KarmaStar · 02/07/2023 12:05

Ok are reading this as if your df had never taken the dog to your home before.
they had and you hadn't said the rules had changed so yabu and I can see why they are upset with you .
the dog could have remained on a lead laying down.
true friendship is putting people first,above furnishings.things don't matter,people do.

Sorry, Some things DO matter. And they cost money to replace

True friends shouldn't take badly behaved pets to other people's housed

EsmeSusanOgg · 02/07/2023 12:57

susiesusiesuu · 02/07/2023 07:44

I have a ( perfect!) dog and wouldn’t dream of taking him to anyone’s house without checking with my friend first.

This. It is weird to assume you can take your dog to other people's homes unless they have already said it is ok.

EsmeSusanOgg · 02/07/2023 13:00

AsLongAsIHaveMyTea · 02/07/2023 11:59

Thank you everyone for your replies. I did let the dog into the old house once although I was rather put on the spot that day. But as the dog chewed the carpet and generally caused a lot of chaos I presumed they wouldn’t bring him again! I maybe should have been specific when I invited them over

That is a normal assumption! Sounds like they have thick skin.

Coolhwip · 02/07/2023 13:00

You absolutely did the right thing.

Maybe they’re jealous and wanted dog to cause damage? As they didn’t offer to fix damage at old house, it shows they’re selfish twats.

Arewehumanorarewecupboards · 02/07/2023 13:04

If my dog had trashed someone’s house once I would be mortified and would never dare to take it again.

YANBU!