Toddler did a big wee on my sofa 😭

[MyEyesHurt]

This is not an aibu but an oh help what do I do.

Don't know if I mentioned it under this user name but we moved recentishly and the house is a money pit. We are skint.

However it was my dream to have a sofa. I know that ~northern upholstey~ DFS do 4 years free credit so we went there and unlike our old second hand sofa (which we left in our old house as we couldn't get it down from the 3rd floor flat) from the BHF, it isn't leather. It isn't leather because we didn't have the budget, even on 0% finance. What it is however is a lovely cosy velvety thing in dark blue.

But reader, WHAT was I thinking?! 2.5 y.o. has been getting on OK with potty training. It's summer so he's running around with just a t-shirt and slippers 🤣 on, and as the days pass more of the wee and poo is going into the potty. The carpet has taken one or two for the team, but I've got Dr beckman on my side, and this carpet came with the house. If it does shrink and pull away from the walls from splashes of liquid, it's all ammo to get a new one.

Yesterday, grandparents came round. No real problem with his bare butt, but a query - why hasn't he got any knickers? You were in knickers right away as a toddler.

Really mother? I find that hard to believe.

Yes, really.

Ok so today I thought I'd try him with a pair of those absorbent training cotton knickers.

He and big brother were playing on the carpet. I went to the kitchen for mere seconds to grab the tea I'd forgotten there.

When I came back he had sneaked onto the sofa and done the most enormous wee.

This sofa appears to have the absorbency of a sponge.

How on earth can I clean this?? Help! Tell me you've had the same?!

We have barely lost the smell of the vendor's cat, only to replace it with child wee. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I think the knickers must have made him feel he was in a nappy.

I really feel this.

On the first day I got my new sofa my son:

drew on it
spilled a fruit pot on it
pissed on it

Thankfully it’s leather so I could deal with it but I genuinely cried.

Did you have the scotch guard? When I got it it turned out it comes with some sort of insurance so if it doesn't work they will reupholster for 5 years I think it was. We used it after some particularly stubborn baby vomit.

I’ve had 3 DFS sofas and they all came with cleaning kits; don’t suppose you kept it?

Removable covers hopefully? As for the cushions, get some pet urine neutraliser.

Very entertainingly-written post, BTW.

I feel you, straight after we got our sofa DS1 got a vomiting bug and then went through a phase of taking his nappy off every time we blinked, getting on the sofa and urinating.
We unzipped the covers and ran them through a delicates wash (wool or delicates setting on washing machine at a low temp), took the cushions off and Febreezed them then let them dry out for about 24 hours before putting them back on with their covers, and then covered the whole seating area with those puppy pads you can buy (they call them bedwetting pads in the nappy aisle but they're half the price if you get them from the pet aisle) then we covered the puppy pads with blankets and voila, washable sofa for next time (and next time, and next time...)

My kid peed on the sofa multiple times

And all over the house

Puppy pads and a throw

Good upholstery cleaner will help

Not removable covers. It was actually dripping. Dripping!
But all I am thinking is the wee has soaked down nicely into the sponge interior!

It doesn't LOOK any different- but the smell!

Oh dear I must admit I did shout quite a lot. A lot of "accidents happen, but NOT ON THAT SOFA!!!" And to think I'm trying to "gentle parent!"

If the covers come off sprinkle the foam with bicarb and leave outside to dry. Hand wash or stick cover in the machine on coldest/gentlest cycle.

Ah cross posted. Erm RIP sofa 🤷🏽‍♀️

We do! But the sponge! the SPONGE! And I would feel like an environmental she-devil reupholstered the thing after three months 🫠

Does the cushion come off? Rinse through in the shower... for about a week. Use enzymatic piss removal spray, industrial if poss, pet grade if not.

Then dry incredibly well, bicarb to speed it along, hoover that off etc etc.

Piss is a humectant, it absorbs moisture. You'll know how well you cleaned it on the next humid day.

Unfortunately piss is a total bugger to get out and none of the products that say they will really will if you cannot wash the item.

🫡 thank you for your service

I mean the sofa, not you...

Nope! All nicely sewn together. How the hell do they get the sewing machine down that crack?!

My only straw to clutch at is that baby wee is made of coconut milk and nectar?!

Oh was ready for my medal n'all 🥺

Yes, pet odour destroyer is your friend but if ifs velvet try not to get it too wet, blot don't rub, and when dry bring up the pike with a stiff brush.

Would your contents insurance cover it?

I don't know if they'd count it as ruined enough

We spent a small fortune on a new sofa once youngest was old enough to not do this. Four days in eldest (10) was hanging out with his pal after eating some treats and his pal suddenly starts to vomit, I literally roared 'my new couch' and the poor kid was trying to direct the spray. It's just family life I'm afraid.

If you have white vinegar dilute it 50% with water and pour it on the pee,wave it for a bit then use old towels to absorb it out. I'd fold the towels up and sit on them. The smell of vinegar will go away when it dries. If the pee was there for a long time and got smelly already you might have to do it again the next day. Of course, if you have a carpet shampooer that will work better than towels 😁 just pour the vinegar and suck it back off!

Wow. I'd be mortified to be the friend but I totally feel your pain.

Several of my friend's mothers hate me. (Yet I'm nice!)

Example: oh a creme egg? To look at you I wouldn't think you'd need one of those.

I was 5'5" and 10 stone 7. About the same as her own daughter.

Oops I derailed my own thread.

That is so outing. Wonder if my friend is on MN.

I've seen one of those liquid Hoovers on the telly - are they any good for this kind of job?!

We’ve got a DFS sofa and we paid extra for some sort of insurance policy with the Scotch guard which means that they’d come out and clean it in circumstances like this. Are you sure you didn’t do the same?

I would try pet odour remover - it really works (well, it does for cat wee!)