to even consider getting a puppy in my circumstances?

[NeedPerspective1234]

Before I get flamed, I am looking for real advice/ opinions and posting here on AIBU for traffic. I haven't made a decision on getting a dog as I know it is a big commitment and I want to make this choice responsibly.

I am a single woman in her mid 30s, working a full time professional job on a good wage. My office is 10 mins from my place and I only have to be at the office for either the morning or afternoon 3/4 days a week. I can WFH for the rest of the time. I live in a nice big one bedroom flat. Dog would be alone for 4-5 hours every day, but with me otherwise. I could easily take one or two weeks off to help the puppy settle in initially of course

I have been dreaming of getting a Labrador puppy since I can remember. Now for the first time in many years I feel like I have the financial, logistical and emotional stability to actually consider getting a dog and I have found a serious breeder. I really want to do it, but the sheer size of the commitment is making me hesitate as I want to make sure I can meet the dog's needs in my circumstances.

Do you think it would be unfair for me to get a dog? AIBU to even consider getting a puppy as a single working person? Is it doable? Thanks for your advice!

Eventually, I suppose it'll give up - having learned no one is coming. 😪

Have you got direct access to a garden? I imagine toilet training would be very difficult in a flat if not.
Agreeing with all the PP that a puppy can't be left that long. I don't think a young lab could be left for more than 2-3 hours even at 1 or 2 years old to be honest, they are so high energy (most are).
My parents have had several rescue labs who were given up by people who didn't realise the amount of energy they have and how destructive they can become if they are left alone too much.
I think an older dog would be a better idea- much easier and the joy and companionship of a dog without the chewing, accidents and stress of puppyhood. Or if you could fix full time working from home for a couple of months after the initial two weeks off with pup- or find a good doggy daycare with puppy provision to take pup on the days you go to the office.

I think you will find it tricky to house train without an attached garden - do you have this? Also, you really need to be with the puppy all the time (pretty much) until it's a few months old, settled, used to being left, house trained etc. Do you have someone who can watch the puppy while you're out of the house (or doggy daycare type set up)? If not it's probably not the right time.

If you must get a dog please don't get a Labrador they're large dogs who need gardens and room. You're in a one bedroom flat! Get a shih tzu

The point is you can't possibly bank on being able to leave any dog, never mind a puppy, for any length of time when you first get them. Ours (not a lab) is fine now, but we had to build the time alone up minute by minute at first...thought it would never happen!

OP, why a lab specifically? I don't think they'd do well in a flat even if you were there all the time for the reasons pp have said. An older, smaller, lazier breed, perhaps but even then every dog - like every child - is different and you have to be prepared for anything.

Honestly, in your situation I wouldn't, no matter how much I wanted to.

I have a lab and she’d be fine with your set up now she is nearly four but no chance as a puppy. I think building a bond and being there for your puppy is very important. It’s those foundations that lead to confident dogs who are happy to be left because they trust that you will come back soon.

Maybe look at a rescue. Or lots of people bring dogs to work where I am. They have crates by the desks

I don't think a labrador is the right breed. They need a lot of exercise and are mouthy (they like to chew). Nor a puppy unless you can be at home the first four weeks or so.
I think an adult dog that has less exercise needs would be better. Or, of course, a cat!!

You can’t leave a puppy for 5 hours. Even an hour would be pushing it. And personally I would not have a dog without a garden - if you or the dog gets sick (and Labs especially are the biggest scavengers on the planet) you have problems. During Covid I was so ill my dogs didn’t get walked for nearly 2 weeks. No one could come in either because it was Covid. What would I have done without a garden?

Not only that, but consider where you could be in 14-15 years time. My oldest dog is 14. I got her at the age of 20. The life transitions you make in that time are insane. And of course, as much as I love her, dealing with an incontinent dog with dementia is challenging.

Since you're concerned about the magnitude/length of the commitment, don't have much space, will be away from home for several hours 3 or 4 days a week, etc., then as well as the points others are making about age or breed, you could consider rethinking whether a dog is the right pet for you at this specific moment in time.

I know you've got your heart set on a lab, and I know that to someone who really wants a dog it might seem facile or ridiculous to suggest a different pet, but as an example of other possibilities, pet rats (especially females) will fulfil many of the things people are looking for in a dog. You can't go for long yomps in the countryside with them, but they're eager to spend time with you, affectionate and interactive with humans, intelligent enough to learn their names/toilet train/play fetch etc., calming to stroke (when they feel like sitting still — if you want a lap rat, get males), gratifying to fuss and give treats to, and can be very dog-like in some ways. Plus, they won't disturb the neighbours, will entertain each other while you're at work or asleep, and have lifespans below 3 years, so it's not a lengthy commitment.

wetotter · Yesterday 19:49
I think your idea that a puppy (any puppy, let alone a lab) will be settled in a couple of weeks is unrealistic.”

There are so many older, more sedate dogs desperately in need of a good home who would be happy sleeping away 4/5 hours after a good settling in period. Please consider regaining one of them.

Rehoming

You'd be better off getting an older dog.

Whenever anyone says they want a puppy I always wonder if they're actually prepared for the lifetime commitment of a dog. Why do you specifically want a puppy when so many rescue dogs need a home?

Have you owned a dog before? It sounds like you're a bit naive. Dogs can't be left for 4-5 hours until they are about a year old and even then they aren't happy about it. Labradors need two decent walks a day and plenty of space. Can you provide it with that? They also shed like mad. And they eat everything in sight if they get half the chance. I don't think a Labrador is the right breed if you do get a dog and it sounds like a puppy of any breed would not be suitable for your lifestyle

I think this is a joke post. You are wildly underestimating how much work and attention a lab needs and how much damage they can do in 5 minutes unsupervised.

Just because we want something badly doesn't mean we should have it. Your set up is wrong for a puppy. It would be lonely and miserable.

Never going to work and it would be so unfair on the pup. Please don’t do this.

Your situation definitely fits a dog. But I would suggest a regular dog sitter to do little wee breaks with the puppy during the day. A puppy can hold their bladder an hour for every month of their lives eg. 3 hours at 3 months. So really until they're 5-6 months you need to be letting them out 2-3 times in your shift.
Other than that I wouldn't say there's much issue. Make sure they have lots of outside time, several times a day if you have no garden.

I had a lab. Got him at 4 months, not trained. No way would I entertain this without a garden. And as others have said, you need to build up to the 4/5 hours.

A puppy is a non-starter, I think, unless you can negotiate complete WFH for at least 4 months. A ‘serious breeder’ should be telling you this, tbh.

An older rescue dog could be perfect for you, though. The problem you’ll face there is that rescues won’t like the fact you don’t have a garden.

Do it! People are ridiculous with this idea that dogs can’t be left ever. I have 2 high energy breeds and I work full time as does my partner. I work with dogs and also participate in dog sports and I know I have happy and content dogs. They are left for anywhere between 3-6 hours at least twice a week (some weeks more than that) and one day a week come to work with me but are crated most of the days. They have good walks most days and train a few times a week as well.
I would try and get someone experienced to help, go to puppy classes and if there are longer days you need to be out see if you have someone that can pop in for a bit.
I’ve always taken a few weeks off at the very beginning to do the toilet training etc. but (shock horror) I have always left mine for short periods from even after a couple of days. They learn quickly. First few days just for 15-30 minutes and left with lots of treats and puzzle games/lickimats (and after a play/training so naturally soon to sleep) and then build up to a couple of hours over a week or so.
I know mine are healthy/fit and content but I do put a lot of work into them when I’m at home particularly in the early stages.
after puppy classes I’d also highly recommend doing further training either in scentwork/mantrailing/trick training/obedience/rallyetc as a way to build your relationship with your dog, give him/her a job to do. And still have regular input with a dog trainer. And work with someone positive and reward based and that you get on with.
the bigger commitment is going away ever.
Dog need to sleep about 16 hours a day and time out without anything else going on is good for them! The only reason it would be an issue is if they haven’t gotten used to it and if they haven’t got enough stimulation generally.
Puppies are really hard work! Don’t doubt that but so so rewarding.

I wouldn’t do it. We bought a Labrador puppy last year. I’m a stay at home Mum, so don’t work. We have a big house and large garden in the country. Our set-up couldn’t be more dog friendly. Whilst I adore the dog, it’s unbelievable hard work, he’s chewed everything, needs two walks a day, you can’t leave food of any kind out, dog food costs £40 a month, flea tablets £20. In a flat you’ll be taking them out for wees every 30 minutes in the beginning. Do you have your own garden? If it’s communal, your neighbours won’t like dog pooh everywhere. Getting them to walk on a lead takes time, training them is not easy. Yesterday we went to a BBQ but we had to get back for the dog. I felt guilty for leaving him for 3 hours, so took him on a long walk. 4 hours is the longest I’ve left him in a year. And that’s a handful of times. As a single person who can jet off as and when they want, I think you’d be mad to tie yourself down. Do you have someone you could leave them with if you go away?

I was at home (studying) for six months with my puppy. She could not be left at 2-3 months old at all. I had to train her to be ok to be left.

@Swansridinghorses

No need for "shock horror"

Several of us are saying the same - that it's not going to be possible for OP to settle a puppy and train it to be happy to be left for a few hours in the one to two weeks she says she is available

(Not that you can't achieve that over longer time, depending on your dog's individual temperament, some much easier/faster than others)

A lot of good advice here. I wouldnt do it again ( sat here with my 19 month old dog who made me cry yesterday). As a single person, the fact that you are solely responsible for the dog cannot be underestimated. Having no help is tough. I didnt realise that when i got mine.
Also what someone said about kennels/ dog sittters availability is 100% true. I was invited to something a couple of weeks ago that is in mid july, called kennels, they are booked up for summer- i cant go. I cant go on a random night out, i need notice for everything. I worked from home for 9 months with my pup. Even now i have a dog walker 2 days a week so i can go in. Its really hard. If i could go back i wouldnt do it.

You can't get a puppy, "settle it in" for two weeks then just leave it for five hours a day while you work.

You won't even be able to use daycare or a walker as your puppy won't have had all it's jabs by the time you go back to work. In fact, if you don't have a private, secure garden you won't even be able to begin toilet training as your puppy can't go on communal ground until it's had it's jabs.

It'll be a good month before your puppy is fully vaccinated and able to go outside, but even then daycares often won't take them that young as it's so much work.

I would say you'd need at least 4-6 weeks at home full-time with your puppy, and then you'd need to be able to pay for walkers or daycare every single day for at least another 12-18 months.

Some adult dogs will be okay alone for five hours a day assuming you can walk them properly before and after, but otherwise the cost of a walker will be permanent - and it'll be at least £250 a month for daily walks. Daycare would be much more - closer to £500 a month for daily care.

Not a lab puppy, it's a huge commitment.

They love people so much it would be cruel to leave them alone for hours, especially when very young.
I had a lab puppy, he grew into the perfect dog and I was heartbroken when he died suddenly aged 12, but it took a long time (2yrs +)before he calmed down. Put me off ever having a puppy again.
He was bouncy and bitey with boundless energy, , seemed bent on self-destruction chewing electric cables, eating plastic bags etc.