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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Ex weird on social media

28 replies

anziz · 30/06/2023 22:52

I was with the father of my kids until Sunday. I figured out he had attempted to cheat and I said look I'll just ask the girl if you don't tell me.
I never did ask her anything it was more to get him to come clean.

But I think he ran to her to save it with her. I went to go check her profile and she was private. (Which is weird at the exact time I said I'll just ask her an hour later it had changed). So I followed and she accepted. Then today randomly she blocked me from viewing her stories (she went back public again which I knew from making a fake account when I suspected cheating) so I know she's blocked me from viewing stories.

Why did she do that? Why not just block me?

Is she reporting back whatever I do to him? I put up a story that was a women joking about how bad her kids dad was. I wonder if she's telling him and keeping following me to keep seeing my stuff

I think he's at the pub with her right now
Or have I let my imagination run wild? Did he maybe not even speak to her? Is he not at the pub with her. Or am I one of those crazy delusional people who still wants to see good in him?

He's blocked me since Monday when I called him out. Made no arrangements to see the kids. This is the second time this has happened. He disappeared for months last time but really seemed like he'd grown and changed and seem genuinely sorry. But I guess not

But did he actually run and save it with this girl? And she's blocked me from seeing her stories?

It's extremely annoying because this girl he attempted to cheat with did something very similar to my friend years ago. She had seen this guy roughly 3 months and he was friends with her (apparently kids dad was only friends too) and my friends ex boyfriend had tried with her before seeing my friend. She said no I only see you as a friend. But for in the way of their relationship non stop. And stalked my friends Instagram account. My friend told her boyfriend and he broke up with her pretty much rhere and then realising she was stalking my friend thinking she wanted him.

She's a nightmare this girl. Incredibly slimy just like the kids dad. They are perfect for each other

But all I keep thinking is did he run to her to save it with her whilst blocking me?
Why has she blocked me from her stories and kept me?

OP posts:
Nursejackie1 · 30/06/2023 23:11

Sorry but I’d put money on it you’re back with him by the end of the week.This sounds like you want it confirmed he is interested in what you are doing. Which is a shame but focus on getting past that.
if you really want it to be over block him, block her and stop thinking about the pair of them.

quietnightmare · 30/06/2023 23:17

He's your ex. If you don't want to be with him then don't give it any more headspace

Mummy2022FT · 30/06/2023 23:17

In my opinion, from what you've said, it's looks like yes it makes sense they're talking and 'working together' (against you)

I went though crap similar to this with my child's dad. I was back and forth, back and forth. In the end I left. For good. it was hard at first but once you're out the other end it's so worth it.

How old are you? I'm in my early twenties.

Is it possible for him to contact your mum instead of you in terms of him seeing your children? That's what I'm doing.

anziz · 30/06/2023 23:38

@Mummy2022FT I am the same age. He blocked my mum too so I attempted his mum and she's supporting him and saying she can't make him see the kids etc.

OP posts:
CornishTiger · 30/06/2023 23:44

So much growing up needed by everyone in this situation. Poor children.

Jellyx · 30/06/2023 23:50

I think it's best you stay off social media. Let her do whatever she wants- it's not your business.
Properly end it with this loser partner and concentrate on providing a stable home for your kids.

Mummy2022FT · 01/07/2023 00:02

anziz · 30/06/2023 23:38

@Mummy2022FT I am the same age. He blocked my mum too so I attempted his mum and she's supporting him and saying she can't make him see the kids etc.

@anziz

It's a shame it's got to that stage where he's blocked your mum.

I know, for me, i fully accepted the fact that by me cutting all contact there was a chance that my child's dad might be out my son's life for good. (Be it his decision) I sat on that for about 3 days before finally calling him and saying delete my number and don't contact me again etc. I was shaking during that phone call, but I got through It

It took him just over a week of absolutely no contact (he usually texted me asking about our child maybe once a day) for him to text my mum.

Please don't think I'm trying to make this about me and not you but I'm trying to speak from experience.

This is toxic, & I'm sorry but it doesn't get better.

If you're not willing to cut him out completely then I would say at least pull away and let the situation completely cool down. Then address him calmly. Think about what you want to do during this time

Never base any decisions on emotion. Be very calculated here.

Hope this helps.

Iknowthis1 · 01/07/2023 00:04

Your issue is with him, not her. He's probably lying to her too.

He hasn't grown. He's hasn't changed. Yes you are being delusional for trying to see the good in him.

For the love of God do not bring any more children into this situation.

LaBefana · 01/07/2023 00:06

Sorry, but you sound like a nutter.

Panpastels · 01/07/2023 00:06

Stop obsessing over this person, she's irrelevant to you. And I would take a break from social media as well!

Panpastels · 01/07/2023 00:07

LaBefana · 01/07/2023 00:06

Sorry, but you sound like a nutter.

🤣🤣

LaBefana · 01/07/2023 00:13

@Mummy2022FT

It's a shame it's got to that stage where he's blocked your mum.

It's always bad when they block your mum. Worse when they block your cat.

BrokeAF23 · 01/07/2023 00:57

Why do you care? He’s your ex?!

fdgdfgdfgdfg · 01/07/2023 01:08

Why does it matter? Why does any of it matter?

The girl isn't important, she's nothing to you. If it hadn't been her, it would have been someone else.

The only person who's behaviour you need to worry about is your ex. And you can't really do anything about that either. He's an ex, he can see whoever the hell he likes.

You can go to the courts for maintenance, but you can't force him to see his kids. Focus on extracting as much money from him as you can, that's the only aspect of any of this you have the slightest control over. Let the rest of it wash over you.

SD1978 · 01/07/2023 01:09

Grow up. You've separated from your partner, and need to work out what you do next in regards to finances and time with the kids. Playing teenagers silly bastards with social media is ridiculous. Either you're done, or you want to work on it. Trying to stalk a random girls Facebook for information, and hoping your passive aggressive 'stories' get reported back to him is all ridiculous. Work out what is best for the poor kids involved, and actually move forward

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 01/07/2023 01:18

Are you the one who's usually obsessed that he's seeing his ex?

Because you're giving me those vibes

Why did you even add her on FB?

SingingNettles · 01/07/2023 02:54

BrokeAF23 · 01/07/2023 00:57

Why do you care? He’s your ex?!

As of what, 5 days ago? And I assume they’ve been together for some time if they have multiple kids together.

Bleuuuughhh · 01/07/2023 03:05

Urgh. Get of off social media.

Thismummyrunstheshow · 01/07/2023 03:54

Social media isn't life. Embarrassing.

KajsaKavat · 01/07/2023 04:43

Don’t blame the other girl, she can do whatever she wants. Put the blame where it belongs, fully on your, now, ex..

you are massively overthinking this, the details are irrelevant and are just confusing you.
thw fact is that he is bad and you are better off without him, especially if there are children involved who will set their bar according to how you h let yourself be treated.

CapEBarra · 01/07/2023 04:50

The girl is irrelevant. Your ex boyfriend has been cheating. That’s all you need to know. Stop faffing around with social media. You don’t need any more proof, and nobody is fooled by those passive aggressive strong independent women slogans. They just look a bit pathetic.

moneymatr · 01/07/2023 05:04

Forget social media. Unfollow both of them and focus on moving on. Try to have an amicable split for the sake of your kids.

SullysBabyMama · 01/07/2023 05:55

If I had to guess I would say that he has said you are separated and so she has accepted your friend request on the assumption you are the mother of his child and will be in their life.

Then she mentions it to him and he has to come up with a reason why you guys can’t follow each other, maybe he says he doesn’t want you ‘stalking’ him seeing what he is up to etc. So they agree to block you from seeing the stories.

She had time to think about it and realised it seemed dodgy hence the following and unfollowing.

greyhairnomore · 01/07/2023 06:15

LaBefana · 01/07/2023 00:06

Sorry, but you sound like a nutter.

Yep 🙄

Hibiscrubbed · 01/07/2023 07:13

After all that’s happened, and the fact that there are children involved here, I can’t believe the focus is on social media.

Why on earth did you follow this woman? Your focus should be on making sure that terrible man never has access to you again, and supporting your children as he appears to have completely abandoned them also. Not gameplaying on effing Facebook.