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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mental health services during pregnancy won't be good

40 replies

regustering · 30/06/2023 22:05

I've tried for many decades to get help with my mental heath - was always given medication. I know childhood emotional neglect was the issue and talking therapies are the only effective treatment.

After a long process and moving doctors/house etc I was given 16 hours of therapy last year.

Now I'm pregnant and the want me to see perinatal health services despite my mood being ok. I just think I won't get any therapy due to my experience, so what's the point.

I've asked online for peoples experience and people either don't get any response to referrals or say it's "great" but when you ask
for what they were offered it's the bare min, no real resources.

I'm in Manchester

Aibu to think there are no resources for those of us with mental health struggles?

OP posts:
Whataretheodds · 30/06/2023 22:09

Have I understood correctly that you are being offered perinatal mental health support and turning it down but complaining that there is no perinatal mental health support

lauraloulou1 · 30/06/2023 22:10

You should definitely take the support offered during pregnancy. And make sure you are taking iron supplements - water based so you don't get blocked up - perinatal mental health services can be patchy but you are definitely on the vulnerable list having experienced prior depression so load up your armour with as much as can. Take whatever is going talking therapy wise - I did post natal talking therapy and it was awesome and I'm so sad I suffered during my pregnancy with no support as I had a bit of a similar attitude to what your post displays. Good luck x

Original poster
regustering · 30/06/2023 22:10

Whataretheodds · 30/06/2023 22:09

Have I understood correctly that you are being offered perinatal mental health support and turning it down but complaining that there is no perinatal mental health support

No. I've written I've exhausted the mental health available for me so why would perinatal be any different?

OP posts:
lauraloulou1 · 30/06/2023 22:11

Yeah this worried me - sounds like you may not be OK if you feeling this annoyed about being offered it?

Whataretheodds · 30/06/2023 22:14

regustering · 30/06/2023 22:10

No. I've written I've exhausted the mental health available for me so why would perinatal be any different?

Show quote history

No-one will know unless you try it out.

Original poster
regustering · 30/06/2023 22:14

lauraloulou1 · 30/06/2023 22:10

You should definitely take the support offered during pregnancy. And make sure you are taking iron supplements - water based so you don't get blocked up - perinatal mental health services can be patchy but you are definitely on the vulnerable list having experienced prior depression so load up your armour with as much as can. Take whatever is going talking therapy wise - I did post natal talking therapy and it was awesome and I'm so sad I suffered during my pregnancy with no support as I had a bit of a similar attitude to what your post displays. Good luck x

My iron levels are fine as they checked this week.I didn't know about the water soluble iron, thanks. Can I ask why you mentioned this?

Also what sort of talking therapy where you offered? I've apparently got "high needs" so I had lots of referrals via different parts and eventually told "not suitable for this service"... until I started a Pals and ombusman compliant.

I first asked for talking therapies in 2018, got them in 2022.

OP posts:
Avondale89 · 30/06/2023 22:14

regustering · 30/06/2023 22:10

No. I've written I've exhausted the mental health available for me so why would perinatal be any different?

Show quote history

Surely it would be best to give it a chance before completely writing it off? I think experiences of this are likely to differ around the country, so why not try it and see?

Nothingbuttheglory · 30/06/2023 22:16

Different areas will have different offers, but for what it's worth I got weekly meetings with a psychologist until we agreed 6 weeks pp that things were going well. Never had more than a few sessions with a PWP before getting pregnant.

Perinatal mental health can have a big impact on the baby so from the NHS point of view, money spent on it is money really well spent, iyswim.

bumblebee2235 · 30/06/2023 22:17

Perinatal team have a timeline and consider you needing urgent treatment as you are pregnant and need issues addressed as you will have a child to be responsible for.

Timeline under mental health team for therapy is 18months... perinatal 8 weeks.

Your fast tracked.

You also get specialist pharmacy professionals to look at medication, you can access their own psychiatrist... all during pregnancy rather than the year long waiting lists :)

PurBal · 30/06/2023 22:17

I was offered:

  • weekly check in with GP or perinatal team by phone
  • regular home visits
  • Crisis line (in addition to a non urgent line)
  • CBT
  • meeting with specialist to review medication (if I wanted)
  • care plan with midwife, consultant and perinatal mental health team to discuss my care in labour including birth plan
  • additional midwife appointments
  • early induction due to anxiety
  • employment support (I was signed off for 4 months with antenatal depression)

Now I’m postpartum I’m also getting additional newborn support, including daily midwife appointments for the first week, access to feeding and sleep consultants.

I haven’t taken up every offer, but it’s been good. To the point of being more than I need tbh.

HollyBookBlue · 30/06/2023 22:21

regustering · 30/06/2023 22:10

No. I've written I've exhausted the mental health available for me so why would perinatal be any different?

Show quote history

Because it will be provided by a different team, with a different range of mental health professionals who may be able to offer different interventions from standard adult mental health.

Might still be shite, but you don't know yet. Go for an assessment and see what happens

lauraloulou1 · 30/06/2023 22:21

Low iron and anemia during pregnancy is related to post natal depression and perinatal anxiety and depression. In a really mad way- I was really shocked by it! Also sheer exhaustion! I'm not sure of the name of the counselling...it was phone counselling basically? But it was incredibly helpful for me and I'd say if they say you high needs then better to have too much support than too little? You can always stop it once you start? But as you know it's hard to get to the top of any kind of waiting list...perimental health seems to be better in my view as the risks are greater. I found the distinction quite weird as well - like suddenly my mental health did matter cos I was carrying a baby - but sadly they are. You no longer potentially just a danger to yourself you could be a potentional danger to your baby. I think that's why they need to be. If this is your first then just prepare for a roller coaster. So see the support as some proper straps? Strap yourself in to stay safe. Xx

Original poster
regustering · 30/06/2023 22:24

lauraloulou1 · 30/06/2023 22:11

Yeah this worried me - sounds like you may not be OK if you feeling this annoyed about being offered it?

I haven't been offered any therapy..... I was asked if I wanted to speak to the mental health midwife, which I did, she wasn't too clear throughout the service and as my mood was fine the previous 8 months, including 17 weeks pregnancy it's a bit hard to really ask for help when you don't need it at that point.

So I was told my details would be passed to the perinatal team and they called unexpectedly a week later on a withheld number. I wasn't expecting them to call and she asked questions About self harm and stuff - all whilst I was in the toilets at work.

I was majorly triggered about all the bad experiences I've had, including one therapist not allowing me to leave the room (in covid). Gaslighting and incorrect notes etc. I've been refused therapy despite other referrals with different therapists etc or presented at A&E with overdose and mental health triage told me they couldn't help me and to contact gp. Gp told me they couldn't help me either.... so really from a young age I'm not being helped with my mental health etc. other stuff has happened like I was supposed to be put on lithium and after bloods, ecg and appointments that psych left and a new one wouldn't give me the medication and did this all without even speaking to me, and next appointment in six months.

Please people don't comment and think you know the situation better than me....

Im under the care now of the community mental health team and haven't had a psychiatrist appointment now in 9 months due to them being cancelled.

It's such a shit show. I've got a plan.

OP posts:
Original poster
regustering · 30/06/2023 22:25

bumblebee2235 · 30/06/2023 22:17

Perinatal team have a timeline and consider you needing urgent treatment as you are pregnant and need issues addressed as you will have a child to be responsible for.

Timeline under mental health team for therapy is 18months... perinatal 8 weeks.

Your fast tracked.

You also get specialist pharmacy professionals to look at medication, you can access their own psychiatrist... all during pregnancy rather than the year long waiting lists :)

8 weeks?

My first consult with whoever on the team isn't until august....

OP posts:
lauraloulou1 · 30/06/2023 22:27

Was trying to reply to another comment! Not the best at replying here but I wasnt being nasty so no need to tell me not to comment...Was just trying to be helpful. Good luck with it all. 👍

Original poster
regustering · 30/06/2023 22:28

lauraloulou1 · 30/06/2023 22:21

Low iron and anemia during pregnancy is related to post natal depression and perinatal anxiety and depression. In a really mad way- I was really shocked by it! Also sheer exhaustion! I'm not sure of the name of the counselling...it was phone counselling basically? But it was incredibly helpful for me and I'd say if they say you high needs then better to have too much support than too little? You can always stop it once you start? But as you know it's hard to get to the top of any kind of waiting list...perimental health seems to be better in my view as the risks are greater. I found the distinction quite weird as well - like suddenly my mental health did matter cos I was carrying a baby - but sadly they are. You no longer potentially just a danger to yourself you could be a potentional danger to your baby. I think that's why they need to be. If this is your first then just prepare for a roller coaster. So see the support as some proper straps? Strap yourself in to stay safe. Xx

B12 is also one for people mentally ill. Not sure if correlation or causation.

OP posts:
Dinosauratemydaffodils · 30/06/2023 22:30

I got two years worth of therapy across a three period on the NHS so better support does exist. Started with cbt, then emdr and finally schema.
Was interesting, didn't realise how much my childhood had scarred me. Diagnosed with ptsd, severe depression, attachment issues and gad.

Especially if it's your first baby, I'd say absolutely go and see what they say. It was having dc1 which brought my childhood demons to the fore. I ended up with postpartum psychosis and no choice about cosy chats with psychiatrists. Apparently struggling with issues from your own childhood is a relatively common issue in new parents and there should be support for that.

Original poster
regustering · 30/06/2023 22:32

Would it be appropriate if I outlined what would be the best way to communicate with me?

I get so triggered having to repeat myself so many times and I miss things out of get upset or don't know what's appropriate to share. Can I not suggest I write something out that can be kept for people to read? I find it hard to talk about things as well.

I find it hard to communicate when under pressure or in new situations. So would find it easier to perhaps have an indication of what questions they need to know? Or perhaps time alone to think about it.

Would these be considered reasonable adjustments?

OP posts:
bumblebee2235 · 30/06/2023 22:32

@regustering when I went through it the 8 weeks was for therapy after their initial consultation. The consultants was a different timeline as when I met with them they had to arrange the appointment alongside a few other professionals. I am still under them even though baby is 3 months old. Waiting for pharmacist appointment currently, but that was only suggested a few days ago. I've found them better, quicker and more help then the mental health services 😅 I've had more continuity of care, more meetings and support than years of mental health service.

bumblebee2235 · 30/06/2023 22:33

regustering · 30/06/2023 22:32

Would it be appropriate if I outlined what would be the best way to communicate with me?

I get so triggered having to repeat myself so many times and I miss things out of get upset or don't know what's appropriate to share. Can I not suggest I write something out that can be kept for people to read? I find it hard to talk about things as well.

I find it hard to communicate when under pressure or in new situations. So would find it easier to perhaps have an indication of what questions they need to know? Or perhaps time alone to think about it.

Would these be considered reasonable adjustments?

Have you been assigned a care worker yet? Who will liaise and arrange all meetings and care with who you might need?

Original poster
regustering · 30/06/2023 22:36

bumblebee2235 · 30/06/2023 22:32

@regustering when I went through it the 8 weeks was for therapy after their initial consultation. The consultants was a different timeline as when I met with them they had to arrange the appointment alongside a few other professionals. I am still under them even though baby is 3 months old. Waiting for pharmacist appointment currently, but that was only suggested a few days ago. I've found them better, quicker and more help then the mental health services 😅 I've had more continuity of care, more meetings and support than years of mental health service.

Perinatal is for a year after birth isn't it?

OP posts:
HollyBookBlue · 30/06/2023 22:37

regustering · 30/06/2023 22:32

Would it be appropriate if I outlined what would be the best way to communicate with me?

I get so triggered having to repeat myself so many times and I miss things out of get upset or don't know what's appropriate to share. Can I not suggest I write something out that can be kept for people to read? I find it hard to talk about things as well.

I find it hard to communicate when under pressure or in new situations. So would find it easier to perhaps have an indication of what questions they need to know? Or perhaps time alone to think about it.

Would these be considered reasonable adjustments?

I think writing your relevant medical history out and handing a copy to the professional when you first meet would be extremely helpful. Gives them the background to start from and less painful for you. Keep a copy for yourself too.

Bellabon · 30/06/2023 22:41

I understand your frustrations and know that many people have experienced the same as you. I am in down in SE and my personal experience of the perinatal MH team was very good. I had weekly sessions with a psychologist for about 10 weeks and a separate doctor who managed my medication. Also a MH nurse. So I had 3 different people for lines of support. I'm not sure what it is like in your are but perhaps once you've had your initial appointment they will step up a bit. Completely understand the frustration of having to repeat yourself to different professionals though

bumblebee2235 · 30/06/2023 22:45

@regustering I wasn't sure 😅 but trying to get everything in place just in case. Been let down so many times previously. I was sceptical at first due to past experience. But i unfortunately had a bad pregnancy and birth so was in neonatal for a few weeks.. but they came in and sat with me everyday. If my worker couldn't make it she would send in a colleague. I have a lot of time for them :)

pinguins · 30/06/2023 22:54

Just wanted to share my experience. Meeting with the perinatal MH team wasn't that useful during pregnancy BUT they did sit down with me and work out a plan for immediately postpartum so I could quickly access support when my MH took a dive a few days post-birth. I would recommend sticking with it to get a plan nailed down (with things that they will do, I'm sure you've already thought about what you'll do) in case you hit a crisis immediately post birth.

Things we discussed were: Who will look after the baby if I had an acute MH crisis soon after birth? What are my wishes for post-birth MH care e.g. care in the community or inpatient? Did I plan to breastfeed or formula feed and how this would affect postnatal care. What are the signs they need to be aware of that I'm heading for a crisis?

The ones who start with taking a full history are tedious AF and I've decided I'm just going to blanket respond with "it's irrelevant" next time as it's their own time they're wasting as no one ever looks at it or takes it into account for anything. But it was useful to get that plan nailed down so it was in writing should the worst have happened and I think that was a good use of time.

Unfortunately my MH exploded 11 months postpartum when I'd basically been discharged from perinatal and I got literally no support as a result but that's an issue with the concept that maternal mental health apparently magically vanishes at 12 months PP, not an issue with the plan we came up with when I was pregnant.