Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mental health services during pregnancy won't be good

40 replies

regustering · 30/06/2023 22:05

I've tried for many decades to get help with my mental heath - was always given medication. I know childhood emotional neglect was the issue and talking therapies are the only effective treatment.

After a long process and moving doctors/house etc I was given 16 hours of therapy last year.

Now I'm pregnant and the want me to see perinatal health services despite my mood being ok. I just think I won't get any therapy due to my experience, so what's the point.

I've asked online for peoples experience and people either don't get any response to referrals or say it's "great" but when you ask
for what they were offered it's the bare min, no real resources.

I'm in Manchester

Aibu to think there are no resources for those of us with mental health struggles?

OP posts:
pinguins · 30/06/2023 22:55

That should read: Unfortunately my MH exploded again 11 months postpartum.

Original poster
regustering · 30/06/2023 23:00

@bumblebee2235 I saw the mental health midwife who said she would refer me to perinatal - which she did. But I don't understand why there is a difference.

I had a phone call which asked about what drugs I'm on and it I wanted to self harm or hurt others - which set me of.

To put a bit of context into the situation I've had morning sickness since the beginning and I was 16 weeks when I saw my community midwife. I had taken the anti sickness drugs which made me drowsy, bad tempered and a couple of things happened that morning - including getting stuck in traffic on a bridge and being 10 mins late for my appointment... and than having to queue at the doctors to tell the midwife I was here (she rents a room). I had already called 10 mins before the appointment to tell the receptionist I will be late and to let the midwife know, which was responded to "well I don't know what room she is in, I'll do my best, I don't know if I can help". There are 8 rooms, you will know what room the midwife is in ffs. Anyway, I got to the surgery and had to queue. Couldn't jump the queue so I was really late for my appointment. Two nights before I had a dream the nhs wrote to me telling me my baby had died in my womb, so I was a little anxious and wanted my whole
20 mins etc.

What a ramble..... but I cry when I get frustrated and it's annoying because me being late was due to a set of circumstances beyond my control but I took a detour to get a sandwich etc and I was just frustrated and couldn't communicate etc

And the midwife didn't do anything at the appointment and that just felt like the third appointment over three days of nothingness.

Day before I saw the consult which I didn't realise I would be under.... it's due to my bmi. So I had to explain to her about my mental health.... for me to be seen by the mental health midwife straight after, who really seemed clueless. There was also someone else in the room as well, and it was like I was watching tennis twitching my head to listen to them.

But anyway it was a set of circumstances and coupled with having to go to A&E as I couldn't breathe from stomach acid and was getting waves of drowsiness from the anti histamine anti sickness medication.... to then be put on a different one which has low mood as a side affect, which is what Happened.

Anything with drowsiness as a side affect makes me so irrational, angry, crying etc.... my bad for not thinking about it.

Anyway if you are still reading thanks.

OP posts:
Original poster
regustering · 30/06/2023 23:01

pinguins · 30/06/2023 22:54

Just wanted to share my experience. Meeting with the perinatal MH team wasn't that useful during pregnancy BUT they did sit down with me and work out a plan for immediately postpartum so I could quickly access support when my MH took a dive a few days post-birth. I would recommend sticking with it to get a plan nailed down (with things that they will do, I'm sure you've already thought about what you'll do) in case you hit a crisis immediately post birth.

Things we discussed were: Who will look after the baby if I had an acute MH crisis soon after birth? What are my wishes for post-birth MH care e.g. care in the community or inpatient? Did I plan to breastfeed or formula feed and how this would affect postnatal care. What are the signs they need to be aware of that I'm heading for a crisis?

The ones who start with taking a full history are tedious AF and I've decided I'm just going to blanket respond with "it's irrelevant" next time as it's their own time they're wasting as no one ever looks at it or takes it into account for anything. But it was useful to get that plan nailed down so it was in writing should the worst have happened and I think that was a good use of time.

Unfortunately my MH exploded 11 months postpartum when I'd basically been discharged from perinatal and I got literally no support as a result but that's an issue with the concept that maternal mental health apparently magically vanishes at 12 months PP, not an issue with the plan we came up with when I was pregnant.

Thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
regustering · 30/06/2023 23:03

bumblebee2235 · 30/06/2023 22:45

@regustering I wasn't sure 😅 but trying to get everything in place just in case. Been let down so many times previously. I was sceptical at first due to past experience. But i unfortunately had a bad pregnancy and birth so was in neonatal for a few weeks.. but they came in and sat with me everyday. If my worker couldn't make it she would send in a colleague. I have a lot of time for them :)

:(

OP posts:
Tooyoungtofeelthisold · 30/06/2023 23:10

perinatal MH services are vastly different. I too have exhausted everything that my local CCG offers MH wise. I thought during my pregnancy that no one would help, that all theyd do is cause problems and judge me if anything.

I had so much support from both the Perinatal MH team- which helped me to decide a plan of what I felt I required, and wanted. It was discussed that I would get another course of CBT for one of my MH problems. I was starting therapy within 2 weeks of their request- previously told 9 month wait for that therapy.

I had my sons HV quite heavily involved. she was fab and very supportive RE my MH.

please, if you need it, take the jump. it really helped me.

Original poster
regustering · 30/06/2023 23:33

Tooyoungtofeelthisold · 30/06/2023 23:10

perinatal MH services are vastly different. I too have exhausted everything that my local CCG offers MH wise. I thought during my pregnancy that no one would help, that all theyd do is cause problems and judge me if anything.

I had so much support from both the Perinatal MH team- which helped me to decide a plan of what I felt I required, and wanted. It was discussed that I would get another course of CBT for one of my MH problems. I was starting therapy within 2 weeks of their request- previously told 9 month wait for that therapy.

I had my sons HV quite heavily involved. she was fab and very supportive RE my MH.

please, if you need it, take the jump. it really helped me.

What's HV?

OP posts:
Original poster
regustering · 30/06/2023 23:34

I feel like I've burnt the bridges as I've sent them an sms saying it's going to make things worse :/

OP posts:
Tooyoungtofeelthisold · 01/07/2023 01:45

Oh sorry, health visitor. My sons has been really useful.
Don't worry about the message, give the number another message or call, if you are now unsure.

Maybe you can say that your first instinct is to feel that things will get worse, based on previous encounters with MH services, but you are open to seeing how they can help and if any of it would be appropriate to your need and circumstances.
That way you are still very much in control.
I found being able to say, no that would actually be detrimental to my MH, and actually I don't think that's support I need at this time, but its something I'd like to have open to me, should things worsen, and that's something that would be beneficial for me right now, really empowering and gave me a really good plan of what we were looking at if my mood did plummet through the floor.

The level of support I'd found during pregnancy and within the first year of having my son was huge. It was quite hard to wrap my head around, I'd been begging for help for years, and the little help I was able to get had huge wait lists, then the pregnancy seemed to change everything very quickly.

Nothingbuttheglory · 01/07/2023 08:33

I feel like I've burnt the bridges as I've sent them an sms saying it's going to make things worse :/

It's not too late to call them back and say you've changed your mind, if that is what you would like to do.

As pp said, writing everything down (and keeping a few copies) is a really good idea.

Good luck 💐

Original poster
regustering · 02/07/2023 01:48

Thanks all. I'm going to speak to them again.

OP posts:
iwillnotstaycalm · 02/07/2023 05:22

I have a feeling nspcc runs something just for expectant mothers which addresses mental health. It was mentioned to me by someone who used to do it. I don't know if it is still going but you could look into it ☺️

3isthemagicnumberrr · 02/07/2023 06:40

As pp said, it varies by trust. I had a perinatal mental health midwife. This meant I had the same midwife every appt, she would have attended my elcs (but was on holiday) and was at the end of whatsapp if I had any issues. I was also offered counselling from a psychologist I knew already. They really looked after me. I’m sorry you are struggling to get the support you need.

Original poster
regustering · 02/07/2023 21:45

iwillnotstaycalm · 02/07/2023 05:23

Thank you this looks good

OP posts:
pregnancyrollercoaster · 02/07/2023 21:52

OP I'm currently under the care of the PNMHT and will also have support post birth from them.

I did had to initially state my case for support and did at one point think 'what's the point I've had very poor support from MHT in the past' previous long standing generalised anxiety disorder.

It's a safety valve for me and found that has helped me on its own alone along with being reassured that if things go pete tong then I've got access to crisis team / support.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page