DH called me a twat for sending his shirt for ironing??

[Nojumpingorrunning]

As usual, needs to go somewhere this morning, can’t find shirt he wants and is storming around the house in a flap.

starts deflecting his issue on to me, asking in a very accusatory manner if I sent his shirt off for ironing and that’s why he can’t find it (we get a weekly service).

I sarcastically/ jokingly said “oh no, sending your shirts away to be ironed, aren’t I dreadful!” to which he called me a twat and said I was being an arsehole!!

Appreciate it’s probably not the best timing for sarcasm when someone is rushing around- but frankly he’s trying to make his problem mine. He could have got his clothes sorted last night instead of falling asleep on the sofa.

AIBU??

@ArcaneWireless Love it. You also but a little bit of itching powder in strategic places and blame the detergent.

Everyone has their own ways of making it work, no disrespect if you share laundry! But it does come up as a flash point between couples so it's fair to mention that there's no requirement to do another adult's washing for them at all.

Fair enough too! I would enlist the teens to put what he leaves lying around in the floor in the ‘Dh mouldering filthy clothes basket’ too, they can whinge enough that he truly regrets it- at least when they are whining about picking up their own clothes you can snap ‘they are YOUR CLOTHES’, if his teens are whingeing about mum making them put his in the basket he won’t even have that. And teens are ruthless- next family do would be full of Dad won’t even pick up his own dirty clothes off the floor, just leaves them there like a total tramp but thinks WE should clean like adults. He’s the supposed adult here!’ And everyone blinks and thinks yes he is the adult, where’s the adult behaviour?

Long long time ago, 34 to be exact.

We were newly moved in together and I was feeling all domesticated, I washed all his shirts and ironed them, beautifully I may add, I asked him to take them upstairs and he said thank you very much darling but I prefer my shirts starched.

I went out the next day and engaged an ironing lady, I rarely iron, so much so that when DS was 5 I took the iron out to well iron and he said……What is that….😂😂

Maybe I’m reading it different to everyone, but I read it as he was calling you a twat for making a sarcastic response and taking the piss, not for sending his shirt for ironing. But everyone else thinks it’s as you sent his shirt. So I guess I’m reading it wrong?

My friends DH is like this. I was round her house one evening and he was getting ready to go out - literally every 30 seconds he was shouting her 'where's my shirt?' 'Where's my hair wax?' 'I haven't got any socks!'

Irritating fucker - I've seen more independent 3 year olds!

I’d have said that. My version would be good god I expect more independence from my 7 year old.

How old is this child? He's going to have to look after himself one day and be responsible for his own clothles.
Oh, hang on he's supposed to be a grown man....
My exh used to do this, so I stopped ironing his shirts and told him why, he then complained his shirts weren't ironed.😀

Obviously your laundry services are not up to scratch op😉
In order not to further disappoint him, I would tell him to ( fuck off) make alternative arrangements from now on. Your job is done here.

Laundry basket to shove his clothes in would be as far as I'd go too

Call me old-fashioned, but I don’t think “twat” is a word a couple should be using to each other, save in jest.

I'm impressed you send clothes to be ironed

You were both U.

He was a knob for behaving like a stroppy teen and you were also a knob for being a goady fucker and further escalating the situation.

I agree with a PP in that this was a 50/50 situation and a spat and tbh, it’s not worth dragging it out.

Your problem isn't laundry. It's him raging over minor issues and swearing at you. In front of your dc.

Your children are learning that it's okay to have an uncontrolled temper and to shout and swear when they are inconvenienced.

You should not accept this behaviour for yourself, and you should not accept it for your dc.

Sod the laundry. An angry, entitled man is on the loose in your home.

When men are entitled, blamey, disorganised, stress-y man children like this one - it's best to leave them to their own laundry.

Then they can't act like a toddler and blame other people when what they want isn't in front of them when they want it.

Good god, why are you sending his stuff anywhere? Why can’t he sort it himself. My 11 yr old sounds more competent (and less rude). I think embrace this as an excuse never to touch his clothes again (incidentally I have been with my partner 20 years and have never done his washing or ironing).

YABVU
He did his bit to sort out his laundry by marrying you, but you’re clearly malfunctioning.

You’re sending laundry out to be ironed when you presumably have a vagina and therefore can and should do it yourself. It’s very nice that he tolerates this in general, but he’s absolutely entitled to be upset when his special shirt is missing.

If you weren’t such a substandard wife it would have been in the house and you could have quickly and sweetly ironed it on the spot (and I bet he would have been tolerant and forgiving of the two minute delay). You’ve brought this on yourself op.

I suggest that you make it up to him this evening by putting lipstick on his favourite dinner, cooking his slippers and sit adoringly at his feet to listen to the troubles of his day.

Tell him to stfu and sort himself out!

That's how I read it to.

You were being annoying imo. If someone can't find something and you know where it is, just say it. Don't make it into a hoopla where you're somehow being victimised.

Nope, when he runs out of clean shirts or the shirt he wants it will bother him.

But more importantly does he really just leave clothes on the floor for you to deal with? My 3 year old doesn’t do this.

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