Child grabs other children by the privates

[Lonelycats]

A boy in my son’s class grabs the other boys by the privates on a near daily basis. It’s a boy’s school FYI. This has been ongoing since years and the school does nothing when the boys mention this to their teachers. The victims are seemingly fobbed off and expected to get on with it. It’s one perpetrator who does the grabbing and he has a few hangers on who encourage him - most of these are former victims of said grabbing so I believe it’s a defence strategy. There are other shenanigans going on - I could provide a very extensive list - but the main issue is this, as it’s humiliating and embarrassing for the boys.

I personally feel it’s crossing the line and that the school should really clamp down on this one way or another. The boys are 9-10 years old and this has been going on since years.

AIBU for thinking this is a safe guarding issue?

Report it to the police as sexual assault - that is what it is and maybe this will prompt the school to take better action.

It’s a massive safeguarding issue ! The school need to be taking steps

Thanks. Needed to sense check even though I know it’s not right. Imagine of this boy was touching girls like this? I’m sure the any school would be all over it but as it’s not on boy it is seemingly written off as some sort of standard naughtiness.

Sorry: should have said ‘boy on boy’

Report to the police and the board of governors.

Agree with Bluelight. This is a safeguarding issue. How did this child learn to do this? School are being negligent here.

How old are they OP?

She says 9-10.

OP this is wrong. There may be no malign intention but it’s an important issue in terms of consent and privacy. I think you need to report to the governors now. Or speak to the school and announce your intention to escalate if nothing is done. You are in the right.

First talk to the highest up in the hierarchy at school. Do it by email so you have a paper trail. If that doesn’t work go to the education department and police. The police won’t do anything as it’s a child. If nothing changes then the only thing you can do is leave, or go to a shitty media outlet. It might force the school to act.

Oh sorry @PedalStool - i dont know how I missed that.

More than old enough to know better.
Tell the school if they don't deal with this today you'll have no choice but to involve social services.

Go to the police

My son was being grabbed on the chest at school by a bully and my husband told school if they didn't safeguard him he'd involve the police re sexual assault and gay hate crime.

theu took swift and effective action then.

you really need to escalate this to social services too. It's a massive red flag, and not bloody okay. Those poor boys

Is this a private school?

I work with this age group. In my school, this would be an immediate internal exclusion with parents needing to be informed. The KCSIE guidance is very clear on peer-on-peer sexual abuse. You need to speak to the headteacher and highlight the safeguarding element, use the phrase above in your message. You can also ask for the details of the safeguarding governor to contact.

Christ, this is a HUGE safeguarding issue! I work in a Primary School & this school is absolutely failing to do a significant part of their job by not dealing with this.

Report this officially ASAP - Head & Governors - keep copies for evidence. Quote the 'Keeping Children Safe in Education Act' - specifically the section re. child on child abuse. Ask them what they intend to do to ensure that it stops with immediate effect & how they will change the obviously embedded & accepted culture of 'boys just being boys'.

DON'T LET IT DROP. ESCALATE IF YOU NEED TO.

This is awful, the poor boys. Total damaging ineptitude from the school.

This happens in my school too, albeit with younger children. The boy who does it has SEN so nothing is done. Children are assaulted everyday - boys and girls.

Totally agree with all of the above. And I would also wonder why the boy doing it, is doing it...

I can only assume that the person who clicked YABU made a mistake

This is terrible OP

Go to the school and tell them unless they do something you will report to the police as an assault.

Watch them fall over themselves to address it.

Very concerning, it really is when blatant ignoring is happening by mandated staff.

I think there is an element of this in our situation also. The boy gets a lot of sympathy from the school and it’s heavily hinted that he has some underlying issues

This has been going on for years?

So in all these years has no parent(s) reported to school governors and then to police if no joy? If so, what did governors/police say? If not then FFS I know there's a culture here of being terrified to 'upset' senior school staff/rock the boat, but this is passivity to the enth. Years...

I feel sorry for both the victims and the perpetrator. I wonder what sort of home life he has in all the years that this has been happening and presumably home life has not been investigated.

It's sad and terrible, parent(s) have to take a stand and just get this sorted out

Thank you everyone, really helpful advice. I really appreciate the support

Actually this should be reported to the police anyway, and although you might have to do it in this situation because the school is being shit, you shouldn’t have to - it’s the school’s duty to involve the police when they become aware it’s happening, because it’s sexual assault.