Neighbours shouting and swearing at children every morning

[Holaa]

Every morning I can hear them shouting and screaming at the children about getting ready for school and then swearing at them and doors slamming. I think they are age 9-11. I WFH and often have phone calls at the same time and it’s very loud through the walls. Any suggestions

There's always posters who say they've managed to raise their children to adulthood without raising their voice....i imagine in cases like this the children are either very compliant and/or the parents are so relaxed they're virtually comatose.

Shouting and swearing can be abusive...it can also just be a nice loving family going through a rough time.

Not swearing, but there's frequently shouting trying to get my two out of the door in the morning.

No. They don't. If you are regularly screaming and shouting at children to the extent that your neighbours can hear it, you need to address it as a serious problem and make changes, not shrug and kid yourself that "everyone does it"

Shouting and swearing can be abusive...it can also just be a nice loving family going through a rough time.

Every morning?

Well if it's only in the morning, I'd assume mornings are particularly difficult and fraught for whatever reason

Or to put a different spin on it, if the kid is around 9 then they’ve moved passed the point of feeling scared or worried about it and instead think it’s just a normal way to communicate. I don’t really find the child shouting back to be reassuring at all.

of course, some families ARE just shouty and it’s a hard call to make. Shouting in the mornings alone, as described, wouldn’t be enough for me to escalate but I’d certainly be aware of it.

Stop trying to normalise abusive parental behaviour - why would you do that? It is NOT normal to be shouting and swearing at children and it is very damaging.

Yes, exactly. It's just like any number of other things that parents normalise by bringing up their kids that way. If you fed them nothing but chocolate, they would see that as normal everyday food and would probably walk past all the vegetables inside shops wondering what on earth they are.

Children who are brought up this way, unless they unlearn it, can then become the adults who frighten and terrify partners, colleagues and the next generation of children. They know no different.

Bringing kids up to think that shouting, screaming and swearing at each other is normal communication - as opposed to something that you may do on the very odd occasion when you're very upset or feeling threatened - is setting them up for a massive fall and terrible good parenting. As an adult, I would tend to avoid people who act like this, as I find them aggressive and tiresome; I can't imagine what it must be like for a young child who has no agency or confidence to extricate themselves.

It's kind of the equivalent of only ever speaking Spanish to a child who will only ever live in an English-speaking country, reckoning on them never actually needing to know English. The huge difference being that Spanish is not frightening or offensive at all - just confusing for people who don't understand it and live somewhere most other people don't use it to communicate.

So if a 9 year old doesn't want to go to school and she screams and shouts, bangs doors and stamps up n down the stairs almost every week day to her parents and it also happens late a night. What are we supposed to do? I've had my children they're all in adult hood including my son who has aspergers. We've had conflict at times, but never like this, which goes on for months on end and she can be violent with her mum and there is an almost 3 year old daughter there as well. What should I do? Apparently she has anxiety?! I've got anxiety from being woken up, disturbed when I'm pottering around the garden. They are a nice couple, but it's slowly making me hate living next door. Why should I move, I love my house. Any suggestions please.

Please don’t report this to a safeguarding lead as they can do nothing but log your information. You must report it to child services in the first instance , secondly to the child's school if you wish but they cannot act upon your report as it’s hearsay. Also environmental health will not send a noise complaint letter unless the noise causes significant distress, is a regular occurrence and continues for a sustained length of time. I only know this as I’m going through a similar situation. I noticed my neighbour abusing his dog first and it took a year for the dog to be safe. It took five neighbours to complain constantly before anything was done. Reporting any abuse is stressful but obviously the right thing to do. Get advice from your local child services. Good luck