Neighbours shouting and swearing at children every morning

[Holaa]

Every morning I can hear them shouting and screaming at the children about getting ready for school and then swearing at them and doors slamming. I think they are age 9-11. I WFH and often have phone calls at the same time and it’s very loud through the walls. Any suggestions

"Swearing" like "for god's sake get your bloody shoes on" or "get your shoes on you fucking cunt"?

This.

We are a “hurry up we are fucking late again” house.

not a “hurry up you fucking cunt you have made us late again” house.

We also shout a lot because my 7 year old takes nearly two hours to get ready to leave the house each day and we need to be out the door by 7:30.

This.

Shouting can be shouting up the stairs, or shouting in someone's face.

Swearing can be 'fucking hell we're going to be late again' or 'you're a fucking piece of shit'.

The op needs to think hard which it is, the right approach to one is different to the other.

I'm trying to think what the R word is though.

I presume it's a bit like 'regard'.

We're all human, but I hate so much hearing parents whose default is to scream constantly at their kids. I do think it's very much abusive. What do you even have left on the odd occasion when you may need to shout, if they're being particularly obstinate? As for swearing at them, that's appalling.

The swear words are like ‘you’re going to be fucking late, get fucking ready now‘ and then the child screams something back and parent says ‘I don’t give a fuck, get ready’ etc. I think the two children fight too and then there’s lots of door slamming. It’s mainly in the mornings. I have heard the parents arguing too many times

I wouldn't call that swearing at the children, it's swearing in front of them.

Swearing at is something like "You fucking cunt" - it is (usually) an insult directed at them. What you're describing is just swearing for emphasis to stress the importance of their request they are making.

I would anonymously report it to social services. Treating children like that is damaging

One point that’s reassuring though - you mention that the kid is shouting back. This implies that the kids isn’t feeling scared / threatened by the parent; that they feel secure and comfortable enough to express their anger/frustration and ‘hold their own’.

To me it sounds like they may just be a loud and expressive family. Not all families believe that it is harmful or negative to shout or verbally vent anger and frustration with each other. Both me and my partner were raised in noisy, expressive working class families where this was the norm yet both were living, warm families. Some of us just don’t do repression or shy away from conflict 🫤

Personally I think there's a difference between using a swear word as an adjective or verb (Why are you putting your shoes on the fucking dog's feet instead of your own? Bugger, the cat's just shat on your sister's homework!) which is not great when kids are too young to know not to repeat it at school, but they are just words

And using swear words towards a person as a noun. (Oi knobheadtwatface put your shoes on) Just intended to hurt, humiliate, denigrate.

Mine are 7 and 11 and after 25 ish times of relatively calm 'please get your shoes on/teeth cleaned/bag on back' etc, more often than not it needs some 'bloody get on with it' shouting to actually get them to move.

I think you need to make a sensible judgement call here on wether it's a fairly normal stressful morning scenario or more than that.
I'd agree with this.

Swearing around children isn't ideal, but it's different to swearing at children.

Unless I had other concerns I'd probably not be overly concerned hearing an exasperated "can we all get out the fucking house" now and then. If they're using "fucking" to intensify an insult to the children and are being verbally abusive then I'd report my concerns as neutral facts.

In this case I'd say if its ongoing then dp report it to child services

I’m in the exact same boat as you, I spoke to my neighbour about it but nothing changes.

Anon report ?

I live in a semi and having the same issue.. except this mum screams at her baby for crying! The baby is roughly a year old and wakes three or four times a night crying and screaming. Her room is next to mine so I am woken EVERYNIGHT. I have had three children so felt for the mum at first as its hard but I NEVER swore at them or screamed at them to shut the fk up. Instead I would comfort them and help resettle them, Sure I had my bad days but never swore abusive words. The baby settles itself in the end I assume as the mum shouts, swears and slams a door. I dont know what to do. Should I report???? I am so tired. I know that the baby will eventually grow out of it and it really isn't the baby's fault but the mum also shouts at her other child during the evenings and mornings. She is one stressed mum but does it warrant swearing shut the fck up and for f sake just stop itttttttt. Any advice greatly appreciated. I feel horrible for moaning about it but also feel horrible for the baby.

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Imagine the damage from such a young age 😫😞

No, they don't. I'm sorry if this is the reality for you but it's just not normal.

OP, please ring children's services, this is not remotely healthy or normal. Children should not be subjected to shouting and swearing

Not normal at all

Report

Let professionals deal withe them

Close case if no concerns

Ime say nothing =complicit

They sound vile, OP.

(And ironically I found that parents who verbally abuse their children like this are often the most aggressive when a teacher dares to suggest they might have done something wrong.)

🙄

No, never was as a child and never have as a parent

And as the OP is seeing with the next door family, shouting and swearing at children looses it's effect and the abuse has to be upped to get noticed. All it does is create a barrier and make everything traumatic. They carry it into adult life.

No, they don't.

Bloody hell this is horrible. Report as soon as you can. No child should be living in that situation.

They could be just rough as fuck OP and this is their normal way of interacting with each other - horrible but possible.

If you suspect abuse then report asap and don't overthink it. Many a murdered child could have been saved had neighbours reported their concerns properly instead of popping up on tv after the fact.

If they don't it's cause they've yet to experience teenage boy in the morning. 😂

The swearing isn't great though.