Ex -H texted DC to say he’s getting married today

[Rockschooldropout]

Maybe I’m over reacting but yesterday my dd (13) received a text from her father my x h to say he’d arrived in Gretna Green!
she asked him why he was there and he said he and his partner were getting married (today now ) .
my poor dd was in shock and didn’t know how to respond . We have four children, 3 are adults and the 13 year old and 18 year old live with me .
All of my children said they had no idea this was happening now and are understandably upset to find out this way , especially as it transpires there are some family members there on both sides (a handful )

For context he had an affair when I was 8 months pregnant with dd and this is the AP . It’s just another demonstration of the shite behaviour he’s displayed over the years like letting them down constantly , promising holidays then telling the dcs he can’t get time off work and then going away with his partner .
If they wanted a small elopement wedding fair enough , but to not even tell the dcs and then drop a text message like this just beggars belief … or maybe I’m being too sensitive 🙈
I remarried in April so am very happy he’s an ex 🤣 but I just feels it’s a rubbish thing to do to the dcs particularly the younger ones

Hopefully after pulling that stunt, you dc's will disown him, he clearly has no brain !!

My df remarried when I was I think about 7 or 8...told me a week later when he visited me at home. All my cousins were there. . Our relationship never recovered - if we ever really had one. Sm phased me out over the years. They won Big Money and they bought a house. She made it clear I wasn't welcome. His loss. Been over 20 years. Your dc will get over it with you as their dm op. He will also get what he deserves... No time with his dc.

Same thing happened to my DH when he was in his early 20s with 4 younger siblings, youngest was around 10 ish. He tore a strip out of his dad over the phone. It was incredibly hurtful for them all. Utterly crap man child of a father

Telling you by text would have been bad enough, but to his teenage daughter is far worse.

Pity you could not have found out in time to tell the venue and allege that you are still married, so the ceremony would have been delayed. I doubt if he would have divorce papers on him or perhaps even remember enough details to get the wedding to happen at the scheduled time.

He's made a very clear statement about who his nearest and dearest are. What a waste of space of a 'dad'

We can't understand it as our kids are our world.

We're decent human beings who would never do what they're doing to the little people we love most.

Our brains can't even imagine going there, as it's not who we are.

We're in the much better position, and both your children and mine already know that, and will have it confirmed all the more as their dads keep on with their dickish selfish behaviours.

Wow what a bellend, at least your DC can form their own opinions of this behaviour. A bloody text 😠
My daughter's best friend is 7, her dad told her he's remarrying, showed them the beautiful destination wedding venue they're staying at abroad, then told her that children aren't going but she could wear a nice dress to the party when they're home. Wtf goes through some people's heads?!

I hope his cock falls off

This wins for the best comment today 🤣 his I’ve wished it many a time

I've been on the receiving end of this from my dad, I was 17 i got the text and later found out the wife's children had gone but not me. He's a dick.

So I found out they had close friends there , his brother and his new wife’s adult son (that I know if ) There aren’t enough words to describe how much of a cold hearted piece of work I think he is now .
but I should have expected nothing less from the man who showed no interest in my pregnancies, never came to scans , started an affair when I was eight months pregnant then literally threw all of us out when dd was two , then painted me as a monster to his family so they cut me AND the dcs off . I could write a book on his he’s carefully painted himself as a loving father and nice man (he’s a narcissist) but now I feel as he clearly can’t be bothered with the dcs .. he may well have got what he wishes for now

Same here. Kids (aged about 8 and 10 at the time) not invited to wedding although had to sit through them talking about all the arrangements for it. Even saw the invite list and came home and told me their names were not on it! I had to go to the bathroom and have a good old cry as I could tell they were so upset whilst I tried to make light of it. Wedding was abroad but they had a blessing after back at home. Kids were not even invited to that although other children in their class went as dad was friends with a few parents. My two had to listen to classmates talking about their dads wedding blessing the following week at school - fucking piece of shit.

They have nothing to do with him now. Have even changed their surnames 😎

Oh god - now that really is bloody awful 😢

Some of these stories. How could fathers sink any lower. My dd is my world. Behaving like this is just beyond comprehension.

Your dd didn’t know what to say because there is nothing child appropriate to say and no way for her to process the enormity of what he’s done. It showed amazing composure from your part to give her permission to congratulate him if she wishes. And composure from her that she didn’t react angrily. Perhaps she is used to being treated so badly.

@Mummyoflittledragon I don’t understand it either - sadly the dcs are used to bring constantly let down , he threw us out on her second birthday after discovering his OW divorce had come through

Does he have a court order to see DD13?

Please talk through this with her and support her in not having a relationship with this useless sperm donor if that feels right to her.

At least let her know its an option.

I know its frowned upon to bad mouth abusive shitheads but this doesn't benefit anyone except the shit heads.

My exh was the same, tore my heart up and broke my spirit seeing the way he treated his kids. That was worse than his affairs 😪 He also remarried without inviting them, or telling them. When he died a year later his new sd was weeping all over fb about her daddy dying 🤬🤬 My kids found out via a group email his family sent to all his friends.

@RedBonnet
That is heartbreaking. You are right about treatment of kids being worse than how they treat their partners or rather ex partners!

My DF did this. His new wife had 4 kids, same ages as us, who went to the wedding but my DB and I had no idea it was happening. We heard via a family member so didn’t act surprised or congratulate him when he turned up with confetti in his car. Just one of the many things the spineless b…..d did during his life.
I feel for your DD, I was probably the same age, it was 40+ years ago and it still hurts.

@ASimpleLampoon no court order no . When we divorced the younger dcs were 13,9 and 3 . We mutually agreed 50/50 but that didn’t happen then eventually dwindled to once a month

My DD's dad my XH has just done something similar. He just cannot understand why hes in the wrong and why im so furious about it.

What the fuck is wrong with these awful failures of men?

May their prostates be huge, may their boners be floppy and may they have perpetual and weeping dermatitis on their bell ends.

My husbands lovely niece and nephew at the age of about 12 and 14 were told by their mother, after the event, that she had got married for the third time. To a man she had met in rehab. I think they had only met him a few times. She collected them from boarding school and took them home for the holidays to this guys house and said “surprise! We are living here now! We are married!”

I don’t think they ever forgave her. They are both over 30 now. I’m really sorry your kids have been put through this. What a tosser.

What did your daughter want to reply?

I honestly think I’d have wanted to put something a lot ruder… what a prick.

@Ihatepickingausername3 I don’t know tbh - personally I wanted to suggest she told him what a piece of work he was but thought I’d be polite - I actually had an awful dream last night where he was laughing at me and taunting me and it brought all the horrible memories of the initial affair back