To ask if anyone here actually thinks a step parents wage should be considered for CMS?

[TheSpoonAndTheFork]

Because my husband's ex seems to think so and is currently enraged that I have zero plan or requirement to.

I'm fully aware that CMS do not take into account a SPs earnings and that legally she is not entitled to anything from my wages. I'm just curious as to whether more people think like her (entitled as imo) that they should take it into account.

YANBU - no it's right that CMS don't take into account a step parents earnings

YABU - they don't but they should.

No, I don't think they are, but equally, in a situation where the parent makes a choice to be a sahp supported by the step parent, I sort of think maintainence should be seen as a necessary family expense, rather than something to be opted out of.

Fair enough I'd put the extra towards uni if it were me but it isn't.

Bloody ridiculous. I'm a lone parent but earn good money, no contribution from her father ever as he's in another country so CMS doesn't happen.

When my DP moves in next year are we saying I should contribute to their DC? Even though I'm a single parent?

God the entitlement.

It's like going ahh this man is useless at paying maintenance so let's go after the nearest woman!

if the nrp becomes a sahm parent though, he could do all the school runs etc enabling the rp to work full time

Why is that never considered?

I think it's not always possible as a viable solution. You've got to live really close together, be in and out of your ex's house all the time if you're genuinely going to take over all the school stuff including getting kids up and ready, breakfast etc, plus there's got to be no other children to consider who need dropping at a nursery or different school etc.

I don't think it's massively practical for most to have the children staying with one parent but the other doing all the school runs, really they need to be staying with whoever is doing the school run each day.

No. But neither do I think non related children should be taken into account when the nrp moves in with another family thereby reducing maintenance for their actual children that they are responsible for.

Not your kids, not your financial responsibility. Same as any other child in your family you haven’t birthed or adopted.

@DownWithBreadsticks I am so sorry, what a horrific situation

It does all seem fairly biased towards the NRP (usually the man).

NRP becomes SAHP with wealthy new partner, maintenence stops.
NRP has more DC with new partner, maintenence reduces.
RP can only work part time due to NRP refusing to look after DC and qualifies for UC. Moves in with new partner, UC stops and new partner must provide for DC.
An average NRP claims to pay a fortune in CM paying around £250 PCM. This wouldn't even cover 2 days a week at nursery.

I personally believe CM rules are too low and too lenient in this country.

I just can't believe some people's lack of shame. I'd be embarrassed to think another woman was bankrolling me and my child just because she's dating my ex.

It sounds horrific @DownWithBreadsticks and I am so sorry for you and your family 💐. I know it is so easy for me to say but please do not make the next payment. If anyone contacts you (CMS, ex wife) just state that you are seeking legal advice and will not be paying until you do. Something has gone terribly wrong somewhere and I suspect you are right in that they have messed up somewhere big time. It needs to go in front of a judge and the process will speed up if you refuse to pay. It is the last thing you need I know that but this is one of those times you have to take a deep breath and put your foot down and make a stand. If you ever need to PM anyone with a rant full of obscenities then I'm your woman! Good luck.

So would I personally but obviously it's his money so

NO NO. There are too many variants but I think the toughest pill to swallow as a single parent myself is quite often your child's lifestyle won't be what it would have been because you are running 2 separate households which is expensive. Parents of the child need to step up not the step parents. Imagine getting Christmas/birthday gifts from both parents and step parent also YANBU.

Unless someone takes a child on from a really young baby or similar obviously that's a different scenario altogether.

Well the first family should also benefit from no child care bill as it insane to think that your children are in paid childcare while one parent doesn’t work.

I don’t think there is any situation where a step parent should pay.

Same. I think it’s really embarrassing and shameful to expect another woman to provide for your kids.

I have absolutely no doubt that if RPs could, many many would.

Another point I disagree on is that the calculations stop at “3 or more children.” If someone’s having 4, 5, 6+ children they don’t live with, they absolutely should be paying more. It’s a choice.

What about where the nrp moves in with a partner with no DC? Suddenly their living costs are halved so should their CMS then go up?

Why would you expect that if that's not policy?

No because it isn't based on living costs

My partner's ex came after my salary despite the fact my ds was only 2, and both her daughters were at university and lived with us during the holidays. 😂

Some people have the most bizarre ideas !

Absolutely this. Its a silly rule and then quite often people go on to have more DC and finicially things get harder all round.

Well the dc could move in with dad and stepmum m-f and see mum at weekends.

that’s never an option either- “I’m not paying to have my kids taken off me” was the direct quote.

not even thinking that that was exactly what she’s done to their dad.

I wouldn't want to be in charge of drafting the law so I don't know exactly where the boundaries should be drawn, but there are several things that I find unfair about the current system.

Apart from the issue of the new spouse's children, I find it odd that there's no acknowledgement that it's cheaper to run a household on a double income than a single one. So a non-resident parent who is single has less money to support his (or her) children than one who cohabits with another working adult, whatever their relationship. There should be some way to calculate what each parent is able to contribute.

This.

No way. His ex made a conscious decision not to work, there is no way my hard earned money is providing her free life.
I think I would seriously consider moving out were that the case. Neither would I want my ex husbands new wife's money! Myself and ex hold that responsibility no one else